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KyndCulture Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-09-05 06:34 PM
Original message
Question about domestic abuse...
My boyfriend of 7 years dumped me last night, rented an apt on his own and gave notice on our house. I didn't know he hadn't paid the rent this month. I have absolutely nowhere to go and no family of my own. Our situation has been an abusive one for a very long time. I don't even know where to begin to look for help I'm extremely overwhelmed, I was kinda hoping someone might be able to give me some insight on where's the best place to start? I have 3 weeks until I'm completely homeless and I have very little money. I paid all the bills on this house except the rent, that was his deal. So I don't get paid again until December.

Should I try social services? A women's shelter? I'm not even sure. I'm in Minnesota by the way.

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villager Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 01:19 PM
Response to Original message
1. all of those, I would think
When my marriage fell apart -- the Ex had the house -- I used friends' couches for awhile, until I got back on my feet...
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Liberty Belle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-12-05 01:04 AM
Response to Original message
2. Those, and try Fair Employment & Housing Commission
to find out if you have any legal rights regarding the rent your ex stiffed you for. Also, our local Fair Employment & Housing office offers a couple of programs for people with not much money afford housing. One is a shared rent program, where you rent a room in someone's house or condo for a modest amount (under $450 in San Diego, but average rents are $900-$1000 or more here). They also have a trade-out program where you can get free rent in exchange for 20 hours a week of services, such as housecleaning, cooking, gardening, etc.

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mrgorth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-14-05 09:42 AM
Response to Original message
3. Try one thing first
call the landlord or whoever and explain the situation. Maybe, just maybe, they can work something out for you. God bless.
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mzmolly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-14-05 11:57 PM
Response to Original message
4. I am so sorry. There are some womens shelters in the Twin Cities
in the area of Grand Avenue if your interested?

It might be a good place to start as I understand they have more than a roof, they offer support as well. You likely need support if your exiting an abusive relationship.

I know it doesn't seem "lucky" right now, but someday you'll thank your lucky stars if an abuser is out of your life.

Here are a list of shelters:

http://www.sboard.org/SHELTERS/MN.HTM

Best wishes.
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LWolf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-23-05 09:19 PM
Response to Original message
5. Anyplace that is free of abuse
is much better than a palace where abuse lives. You've got 3 weeks. I'd check with friends, see if anyone would rent you a room for a few months while you save for a place of your own.
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KyndCulture Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-27-05 01:47 PM
Response to Original message
6. Update on my situation.
This took a turn for the worse the night before thanksgiving and the violence came back after almost 2 years.

We had broken up but I still have not been able to find a place on my own. I ended up in the hospital with a broken facial bone and a concussion.

There is no women's shelter in the small town where i live and he hasn't returned to our house.

The police are involved but I am running into the stupidest red tape. There is a law I am told that they only had 24 hours to arrest him and they couldn't locate him so now they are sending him a summons to appear in court on assault charges. Seems to me this is extremely wrong. If he had hit another man he would be in jail but since it was his girlfriend he hit he gets a summons? Ridiculous.

The police have been checking in on me, as I have no family or friends nearby that can take me in. I'm desperately trying to put together enough money to get out of this house before the end of this week but he has most of our money and I don't have access to it at the moment.

I'm just wondering if anyone has had any experience prosecuting someone for domestic assault? Seems to me he's going to get away with this.

I have a restraining order that should go through tomorrow but I am out of a place to leave as he's given notice on our house for the end fo this week and I don't have quite enough money to move yet.
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mrgorth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-28-05 09:51 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. I wish there was some way I could help you
but I can't think of anything. I know this sounds stupid but the only thing I can think of right now I going to the local catholic Church. I know you're not RC, neither am I, but they do have some social justice concerns. It'd be better than getting hit again. God bless.
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Liberal Lassie Donating Member (143 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-17-07 12:52 PM
Response to Original message
8. Can you get to Dallas? If you can, let me know, I can TRY.
I can offer a lot more then the desperation that 3 weeks has to offer. I have a private email address that you can write to: buzzoffyou@hush.com
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Rhiannon12866 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 04:05 AM
Response to Original message
9. Sorry that I didn't see this forum or thread before.
There are agencies out there that can help if you're a victim of domestic violence. Try doing a Google search to find resources close to you. A counselor from Catholic Charities has been very helpful to me, recommended by my friend. But there are shelters and support groups everywhere, usually by county, at least here in NY. I was even told of a vet who organizes foster care for pets. Here are some links that might help. I truly hope that you're okay.

Rhiannon :hug:

National Domestic Violence Hotline
http://www.ndvh.org /

Women's Law
A nonprofit providing free legal information and online support to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault.
http://www.womenslaw.org /

Minnesota Domestic Violence Crisis And Support Resources
http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/states/minndv.shtml

Minnesota Center Against Violence and Abuse
http://www.mincava.umn.edu/
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