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Dover Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-12-10 12:53 PM
Original message
Intimacy in a digital world
I'd like to know your thoughts about this. As for my own thoughts and questions:
There are pros and cons to any new technology. But I think it's important to understand how it's affecting us individually and as a collective so that we consciously find the right balance in our lives rather than living unconsciously. "Reality" is only what we choose to make it, and that requires that we know ourselves.
While we are all connecting and connected like no other time before, is there also a digital divide happening where we are actually losing intimacy with our loved ones and ourselves?
If at the end of a long day of texting, chatting, online discussions, etc. you are left feeling somehow hollow or alone, is that not important and symptomatic of a need for a change or a better balance?
Is true intimacy even possible in this medium, whether or not you maintain anonymity? What might create a better balance for you?
Is, for instance, DU truly a 'community'?
If so, what makes it so? If not, what's lacking?
-----


Video and Text here:

Digital Inwardness and Digital Intimacy

The higher-order capacity for inwardness and intimacy is vital for humanity, yet these characteristics are evolving away as technology advances.

//

"...all your time extending your consciousness and your senses into that realm beyond the here and now you can never get to that deep place because you are allowing your inner life to atrophy really, to wither.
And that's a very high price to pay."


http://bigthink.com/ideas/24160


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westerebus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-12-10 08:07 PM
Response to Original message
1. You couldn't pick an easy one, could you?
I'll start with the photo. She has both feet off the floor, he one planted on the floor. She is still complete with tiara, he no tie. Back to back at the right shoulder to the elbow, not in contact at the waist. She shoe-less, his both on.

A lap top in her lap, a lap top between his legs.

I'll exclude the background and the color of the attire.

What message does this photo send given the context of the OP?

Intimacy is not possible until the couple faces each other and lets go the digital world.

The photo presents it self as there is a large degree of familiarity. There is no anonymity present. Even back to back and the open verses closed postures reflect consent and acknowledgment.

So is the question can you blog, post, edit, book, consume and converse and stay human with out human contact?

The picture says no.

The couple may approximate feelings and be comfortable in the medium of the digital world, but they are as nature would have it all too human. She is leaning into her comfort zone for support. And he with one foot firmly planted on the ground is there to give it.

As to the color of the attire?

That's pretty much black and white don't you think?

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Dover Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-13-10 12:49 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. I agree that it's not an easy subject but I feel it's really important to ask this question
for ourselves and for the collective. What's your own experience?

I think as with most experiences it comes down to knowing oneself and being aware of what feels out of balance. However, it's very easy to lose oneself in the maze of life in general and these new technologies certainly have had an impact in the way we relate (or not)to others as well as ourselves, spend our time, the pace of our lives, our experience of the world, etc. ETC. In a way, I feel that WE have been rewired...and it all seems very cerebral. Even if I was texting from beneath a majestic tree with feet planted in a soft, bed of moss near a trickling stream, would I be present to it? Would I allow myself to go within and disconnect in order to connect in a deeper way?

I guess I hadn't considered anyone would analyze that picture, but your interpretation seemed right on the money. I know some couples who go to their individual computers every evening and if they want to communicate with their spouse they email them in the next room!

Although I've been aware of this issue for some time and have given it alot of thought relative to my own life, I hadn't seen it written up in article until I came across the one linked to in the OP. And that is really what I was looking for a response to, along with personal thoughts.
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westerebus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-13-10 07:13 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. I had just returned from a yoga class.
I get a little spacey after a class. Go figure. I'll read the link, give it some thought and get back to you.
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westerebus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-13-10 09:57 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. Let's begin.
Obsession is not a healthy trait. In the keeping of habits that affects our inner life, the pursuit of knowledge in general is healthy, while the need to share our inner life seeking acknowledgment is risky business.

I don't know everything. I'm comfortable with that. My interests are varied. I seek information and have for as long as I can recall. As an introvert, I draw strength from silence. So it is not in my nature to seek an audience. Conversely, I seek the information I do not possess from the widest audience possible.

Ego centric self obsession is what I see all around me. I don't consider that intimacy. On the contrary, it's fraudulent narcissism under the guise of sharing. Far too many egos in need of preening by their digital best friends.

On the other side of the equation, I see an obsession with connection as if connection is by default the accepted normal response to technology. The off oneness is the identity found @___.com. Hence the conditioning of voting for # as solo performer by tex ting ### now.

This is Pavlov on steroids. The sharing of the collective in the connection. The dog barks, the light goes on, the collective votes. The information is then shared after commercial break insuring the feedback loop is completed.

None of what I just said my be true. Anonymity is a falsehood surrounded by a posture seeking an audience it has no intention of being honest with. With out honesty information suffers. Injecting distrust or misplaced concern is not an improvement in information sharing either.

You are free to remove the last paragraph. It is false as it applies to me in this case. The point is what can you trust? Is the information valid? How would you know, unless you're willing to accept the Freudian slip of the picture posed at the end of the OP as I did?

I chose to critique the photo to share information I thought valid. Your honest representation of what you had concluded. I'm in agreement there is some thing lacking. We are in a electronic society that grows less connected each day. How does one connect internally if not by self examination? How frail we have become to judge our collective by a standard unwilling to turn off the connection in fear of a blank screen. What have we become?

What description is justified of those who are lurkers? Intimate does not come to mind.
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westerebus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-14-10 08:59 PM
Response to Original message
5. I apologize if I have over stepped my bounds.
It's my pedantic nature that gets ahead of myself. Mea Culpa.
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Dover Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-16-10 08:40 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. Perhaps it is I who should apologize. I've been attending to my non-cyber
life and haven't been on the computer in several days. So forgive me if you are interpreting my silence in the negative. I very much appreciate your thoughtful response. There are some great nuggets of truth.
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westerebus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-19-10 07:36 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. You may want to go to BPS research digest.
More than one interesting bit of information on this subject.
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