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Have you been a 'loner' with a significant other still in tow?

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Bullwinkle925 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-22-05 02:45 AM
Original message
Have you been a 'loner' with a significant other still in tow?
Just wondering?
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LWolf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-23-05 06:40 AM
Response to Original message
1. Yes.
It's part of what cost me a marriage. My husband couldn't deal with my reclusive nature.
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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-25-05 08:59 PM
Response to Original message
2. Yes, and I eventually had to let that relationship go
There were mitigating circumstances there. He's not an emotionally healthy person. He needed my attention focused on him 24x7. I was sooooooooo not the person he needed to be with.

So I don't know what a relationship with a healthy person would be like, having a relationship with someone who was content to allow me my space, and then coming back together again. Sounds heavenly to me.

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Hello_Kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-03-05 05:42 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. I'd like a partner who lives nearby
Like maybe on the same street. But not in the same house. We could spend time together regularly but I could still have my much-need alone time.
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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-09-05 08:01 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. I think I like the Tim Burton/Helena Bonham Carter arrangement
They share adjoining houses with a tunnel connecting the two.

That would work very well for me.
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Darth_Kitten Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-09-07 12:36 PM
Response to Reply #3
14. Now this is the arrangement I've always wanted.........
we could be "together" but we each have our own space. :)
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Brewman_Jax Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-13-05 07:25 AM
Response to Original message
5. Here's a great line I just heard...
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my solitude. I enjoy it even more in a relationship.--Alan Shore
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Tara_NM Donating Member (89 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-12-07 12:01 PM
Response to Original message
6. Married Loner
I am not a loner 100% of the time but instead go through regular periods of time where I actually 'need' to be a home-body.

My husband doesn't adore my reclusive nature but he is considerate and sensitive most of the time and so we work around it.
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DemExpat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 09:09 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. My husband has learned to be considerate and sensitive as well....
after over a quarter of a century together! :D

DemEx
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deepthought42 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-07-07 02:11 PM
Response to Original message
8. No, but I'm hoping one day to be...
I just can't help sometimes that urge to be alone...though I do try to be social from time to time...
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ellie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-07-07 10:38 PM
Response to Original message
9. My DH and I
are loners. He has his room in the attic and I have three rooms to spend time in alone. We don't spend every waking hour together and don't even talk that much. I really enjoy my alone time.
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Bluzmann57 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-08-07 07:23 PM
Response to Original message
10. Yes
She did not go along with my loner type of thing so that, among other things, is why we split. But we still talk. So am I a true loner, or just antisocial? Or maybe concerned about my kid.
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stuntcat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-11-07 08:59 PM
Response to Original message
11. my husband's a loner too
we keep in touch with our families/childhood friends but most of them are far away.
We both need a LOT of time to ourselves. We're together here in the computer room, with our chairs facing away from each other.. sometimes we just email each other lol
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amyrose2712 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-12-09 09:28 AM
Response to Reply #11
19. That is us.
We both have out own computers in separate rooms. We both have to force ourselves to go out.
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Oddball Donating Member (205 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-22-07 12:33 AM
Response to Original message
12. 23 years and going strong
My wife and I both are very private people and we agree almost all the time about who to see and how often. It's not that we are reclusive, exactly, but by the time we have worked in very public jobs all day, we spend the rest of our time together and rarely include others. It probably seems odd to people who know us but we are just very private people and I am so happy that we are together.

Funny how quickly I jumped on the "Loner" category, though. I'm enjoying this. Maybe we should have meetings!!!! um....

:hi:
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seriousstan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-06-07 11:11 PM
Response to Reply #12
13. That can get you banned from the "loners" club.
Meetings!!! :spank:
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bemildred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-10-08 09:02 PM
Response to Original message
15. Third marriage.
The first two were disasters. Third one is now about 22 years. It's not been easy, but we seem to have worked it out.
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stpalmer Donating Member (111 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-22-08 07:32 PM
Response to Original message
16. I feel bad for my husband sometimes
He's a social whiz, loves people and as a sailor, lives with lots of people and is almost never alone---until he comes home. I work, and don't socialize much outside of that, so I don't have a network of built-in friends for him to socialize with, and he has no time to make and keep friends in the little time home. We do a lot just the two of us (and that exhausts me!).

He's commented that he's becoming more of a loner like me--but that makes me sad, because I believe I am inherently a loner, and he's not.
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enigmatic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-15-09 11:00 PM
Response to Original message
17. yes
My wife and I both are, and it works because we understand each other's need for solitude when necessary.
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elleng Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-16-09 04:25 AM
Response to Original message
18. Yes, but . . .
Once divorced, now separated, and now 'attached' but thinking life alone might be better. Not sure, tho.
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Moondog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-06-09 03:53 PM
Response to Original message
20. Yes.
It works best with another loner. Otherwise the SO gets the short end of the stick.
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