Do you find that you take a longer time to recover from hurts and traumas

[supernova]

than other people? I'm talking emotional turmoil, not physical.

I find that when the world throws me for a loop, that it takes me longer to get back on my feet again. I can mope for days about setbacks or hurts that I get. And that seems to be longer than for people who aren't loners.

What about you?

[chaska]

1. Yes. Hi SN.

I don't think that's necessarily a loner thing though.

[supernova]

2. You're right

I'm thinking it has more to do with the sensitivity thing.

I remember getting treatment several years ago for a case of social anxiety. On the recommendation of the social worker at work, (I was experienceing too much stress at work) I went to see a psychologist who ran a therapy group.

This was before I figured out I'm a sensitive loner and need to keep my stimulation levels down.

Anyway, one of the things he asked me was ... I forget the wording exactly... but it was something like "how long does it take you to recover from disappointments? Say you learn you won't get a job you wanted?"

I said for something like ... about three days. He seemed genuinely concerned that it would take me three days to process it. :shrug: When I saw the quizical look on his face, I said "Is that a long time?" To me it seemed normal. It was funny to get any reaction out of him because I would learn later in group that he sat pretty motioneless and stone-faced and mostly unresponsive.

But I found it odd that he found it odd that I could take a long time to incorporate such feelings into my experience. :shrug:

[chaska]

3. I don't know about that...

I think that would be a hard thing to quantify. I mean the fact that you still remember it means that on some level you still haven't gotten over it. On the other hand you may have cried about it for two minutes and then just felt really badly about it for the next two days. Everybody's different. And I'm convinced that mental health professionals are just fumbling in the dark anyway.

I have to run or I'd write more ... not that I have much to say, mind you.

[kaitykaity]

4. Well, emotional tumoil usually involves other people, right?

And if being around other people when they're just being
normal and happy drags me down and make me tired, with my
"tiny tank" and all, then it would only make sense that adding
emotional turmoil on top of that and you've got a recipe for
a long recovery period.

[supernova]

5. I tend to agree with you KaityKaity

I remember the office episode above more as a novelty now more than anything. It was my only experiment with the mental health community.

Just to wind up the story I stayed in the group for a little over a year. I figured out that unlike the others in the group I didn't have some overarching problem I was trying to deal with: abuse, addiction, etc. I knew that whatever it was, was integral to my personality. So, my time would be better spent learning to accept my limitations.

edit: I'm much more patient with myself now. I don't try to rush to "put it behind me" or to "get over" before I'm ready.

The funny thing is, on some level, I like interacting with others. So to some degree I will always risk getting hurt. I only differ from others in the amount of time I can spend with them.