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If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, can you still be a loner?

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Guaranteed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-28-05 02:21 AM
Original message
If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, can you still be a loner?
My girlfriend and I get along great, but I basically have no other friends. I've had friends, very long-term friends, but I've cast them all off and learned to avoid them at this point. They tend to be pieces of shit.

Anyway, like I said, I do have a live-in girlfriend now of a couple of years. She doesn't really have any friends either. Would you call us loners?
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marions ghost Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-28-05 03:41 PM
Response to Original message
1. yes I think so
I'm a loner married to a loner.
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complain jane Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-24-05 03:01 PM
Response to Reply #1
7. I'm a loner in a commited relationship with another loner.
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bemildred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 07:29 AM
Response to Original message
2. Sure, loners have friends.
The have children, all that stuff.
Not much for cocktail parties though, rock concerts, political
conventions, herd behavior like that, and they don't talk a lot.
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shrike Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-10-05 10:18 AM
Response to Original message
3. I'm a loner and I'm married -- to an extrovert, no less
It works because we give each other a lot of space. I've never had a huge need for friends, but I have a few casual ones at the moment. Could never handle a wide circle.
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Ariana Celeste Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-05 04:33 PM
Response to Original message
4. I'm in your boat, man.
My husband and I have one friend that we see once in awhile. We are both incredibly introverted and people scare the crap out of us. :).

The rest of our friends are just like, people online, I have a couple friends from my home state. I left WA to move in with him here in Plainfield, IN. We had roommates once. They were ok. They moved out and neither them nor us made the effort to stay in contact. Doesn't bother us, they had too many people over all the time anyways.

There's like, this dude he works with that stops inside sometimes when he gives my husband a ride home. So maybe that makes 2 friends? I dunno. But we like not having people around all the time, it's too stressful. People are stressful, period. I'm quite happy having my husband, our best friend, and this dude that stops by sometimes. He's very happy with that, too.

:hi:
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mdmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-17-05 10:15 AM
Response to Original message
5. I used to date a busy women.
This worked for me. I can't stand being in needy, high maintenance relationships. I like the distance...
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StrongbadTehAwesome Donating Member (623 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-24-05 01:39 AM
Response to Original message
6. definitely.
I'm a loner married to a loner (though he can fake being social much better than I can). We have a half-acquaintance of sorts with a friend of mine from high school...get together to see a movie with him once every couple months or so...but other than that, we're fine with being each other's only company.
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Hello_Kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-25-05 07:46 AM
Response to Original message
8. I'd like a romantic partner but
I really don't want to live with anyone. My ideal husband/mate would live nearby, maybe on the same street. But not in the same house. I just can't handle having someone else around all the time.
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hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-06-05 08:44 PM
Response to Reply #8
10. YES !
You took the words right out of my mouth !!! :applause:

HippieSlackerDude - also a loner (calls himself Steppenwolfe - from the Hesse novel) - and I dated for almost 3 years, and lived on opposite sides of the city, worked different schedules, and sometimes would go for a couple weeks w/o seeing each other.

Yet we always knew where the other was, and what they were probably
doing ... (reading/Du'ing/working) ... but it was perfect because while we knew we 'had each other' we also mutually respected each others' boundaries and need to spend time in our separate caves.

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lizerdbits Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-11-07 09:38 PM
Response to Reply #8
14. I always think I could have a big piece of property
and the guy could have his own house on the other end of the property. We could have red and green lights on the outside to signal when it's OK to come over if the other is interested. I don't want a house big enough to live with someone and still be able to have my own space. When I date someone they usually wind up getting on my nerves. I define it as 'clingy' but maybe it just seems that way to someone who doesn't want another person around all the time.
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shanti Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 05:00 PM
Response to Original message
9. sure
i've been married twice, and been serially monogamous with a few boyfriends, 4 sons too. but a longrunning joke at work is my two (count 'em TWO) friends, one male and one female, both single like i now am. they and my relatively small extended family are the only ones i really confide in, call me on the phone, or very occasionally go out with socially. neither of my friends is a loner, in fact, they're quite the social butterflies. it doesn't bother me either. i don't have time for any more people - it's just too emotionally tiring. works for me tho! :-)
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Quakerfriend Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 07:30 PM
Response to Original message
11. My husband and I
spend quite a bit of energy trying to be alone (LOL!).

After many years and many friends I much prefer to be alone most of the time. I avoid nearly all social situations. My husband is extroverted but, also happy to be alone with just the family. We have two young sons and 62 first order relatives(sibs and cousins) who live within 15 minutes from our house! So, this makes it hard...There is a family party atleast once every two weeks!

We have become quite good at saying NO!!

What makes me sad is that people take it personally and think we don't like them.

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IronLionZion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-11-07 01:27 PM
Response to Original message
12. That's exactly what I need
Where do I find a nice loner girlfriend?

My friends aren't pieces of shit, but I don't like to hang out with them all the time, or even half the time, just once a week or so is good. I value my alone time and I love living alone.
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-11-07 04:30 PM
Response to Original message
13. No.
You found each other. A 'partnered loner' is quite the non-sequitur...
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Dervill Crow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-02-07 09:18 AM
Response to Original message
15. Yes.
Edited on Wed May-02-07 09:50 AM by Blue in Portland
I'm very much a loner and have been married for 33 years. My husband's circle of friends is not as small as mine, and he has a buddy he golfs with, but he's pretty much the loner also.
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deepthought42 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-07-07 02:14 PM
Response to Original message
16. That's what I need...a fellow loner...
of course it's not that I've accepted and starting fully enjoying being a loner that suddenly guys are coming after me... :hide:
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