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canetoad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-08-11 02:32 AM
Original message
LONER PRIDE
I love being a loner. Alone, solitary, singular. There is no place for pathetic rationalizations about being along but not lonely or in a crowd but alone. Simply, people are either extroverts or they're introverts.

Extroverts, being what they are, hold the floor. The loudest, most prolific voices on the web, at a party or at work.

We loners must not let extroverts dictate the social norm. This doesn't mean being as noisy as they are, it means retaining the detachment that allows you not to be dragged into their net of petty drama and emotional outpourings.

I love people watching and the web (and DU) is a perfect place to do it. Someone once said that 95% of user content on the web is generated by 5% of the users. Taking DU as a microcosm do you think this is true? I do.

Embrace being a loner. Enjoy not feeling the need to attend lunches and cocktail parties. Make no excuses for not being a social butterfly. You are not deficient, not a psychopath. Just a person who values privacy and their own space.

I guess I should explain what prompted this post; I've called into this group periodically over many years but doubt if I've ever posted. I see self-professed loners agonise over their solitude, longing for greater social contact.

My advice is; stop beating yourselves up. Come out as a proud loner and stop making excuses. The truth will set you free :)
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bemildred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-26-11 12:40 PM
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1. +1.
The last thing I want is to be an extrovert.
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knowbody0 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-26-11 05:41 PM
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2. well, i really like you
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no_hypocrisy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-08-11 08:22 AM
Response to Original message
3. Proud loner checking in.
I'm not antisocial or egotistic, but I do enjoy my own company primarily.

I live alone by choice. I finally took the last step in embracing my Inner Loner last month by removing the two useless loveseats I had in my apartment. I just don't entertain. I converted my kitchen table from the purpose of dining to that of a large counter and put the kitchen chairs up in the attic. There is no place to sit down here except for in front of the computer.

I'm never lonely. I've almost always been like this. Didn't want to play games on the playground during recess. Didn't run around with cliques in high school. During senior year, one guy (whom I've known since kindergarten) wrote in my yearbook that he admired how I was independent. Finally, I thought, someone "gets it". I visit others and do limited get-togethers but really, I am so happy to come home.

In this society, there is pressure from friends, family, and community to be social, to join with others, that it's better you're not alone. Bullshit. It's more than not being married. It's being so comfortable with yourself that you can't improve the situation.
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stuntcat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-12-11 08:20 PM
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4. PROUD loner :)
Edited on Sat Nov-12-11 08:31 PM by stuntcat
Looking around, at everything the people show me, I'm prouder every single day of being separate.

I was sort of a loner already, then years ago I had a traumatic brain injury followed by months of therapy (learning to walk and read, and almost everything else) Well the therapists warned my family that without much interaction I could become more of a loner, and that's exactly what happened. Now I spend a lot of time by myself, gardening and making arts.. playing with cats, whatever! But I don't worry about it, I know it's who I am. I have a volunteer job that I've started skipping most weeks because the women there are so horrifying. I mean, when my experiences with people upset me so much, and they say selfish bullsh!t that I spend weeks trying to forget, then why should I spend my time with them? I have plenty to do at home. No one stops me from turning the music up loud all day. My cool Mom and my aunts and my best friend live far away but they email me every day :)
My husband and I were both only children so we like to be quiet doing our own thing. We'll spend a whole weekend just reading or working or looking at computers, and that's okay.
I'm happy to embrace it! yeah :thumbsup:
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