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are people with borderline pd more prone to end up in abusive relationships?

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mopinko Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-22-09 02:14 PM
Original message
are people with borderline pd more prone to end up in abusive relationships?
found out a few days ago that the boyfriend from hell continues to bug my daughter. their relationship always was creepy. she told me once that they both knew every minute of every day what the other was doing. just plain wrong.
i knew that she was still in contact with him, and it bugged me. i had overheard some conversations when she was on the phone with him. well, the other day she was screaming and screaming at him on the phone. when i mosey up to eavesdrop (yes, i do. i consider it part of being a mom.) she is begging him to just leave her alone so she can take a shower. now, why the hell can she not just hang up the fucking phone?
i looked over her cell phone record (which we pay for) and he is calling her a dozen times a day. she is spending a lot of time with a new fellow, who seems nice (?) but insists they are not really dating. her sister tells me that he is waiting for her to get over the asshole. i suspect that she is, at least partly, hiding.

so, i am just curious if people think bpd's are prone to this sort of relationship. i am thinking that she is going to need some professional help to get out of this thing. the guy is definitely capable of violence. sister also told me that he used to beat up the little dog that came home with kiddo. a cuter little dog you have never seen. anybody that could beat on this cutie is without a doubt sick.
i am hoping her dad and i can talk a little sense into her, and get her to take out an order of protection. even if she doesn't think she needs it, we need it. he hates me, and would have no trouble attacking me, especially since i will be on the fucker like white on rice if he should show up here. and i wouldn't put it past him to show up and do something to this dog, just for the terror of it.

sigh. one step forward, 2 back.
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qb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-23-09 08:31 AM
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1. I think many types of emotional disorders can make people susceptible to abusive relationships.
I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 11 years. Initially she was very kind and charming, and she needed me as much as I needed her. I feared being alone. I put up with a lot of abuse because I didn't think anyone else would want to be in a relationship with me.

I hope your daughter finds the strength to let go of this guy.
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mdmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-24-09 12:07 AM
Response to Original message
2. yes
no doubt.

Part of the illness is a tendency to be drawn into bad situations...
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