Sad , sad sad , deep well of pure sadness and hoplessness

[UndertheOcean]

Sometimes I think I may be bipolar since I get periods of clarity and acceptance and happiness , but the good doc does not think so .Well , she should know her stuff.

[Forkboy]

1. Do you have manic episodes?

Like periods where you have cycling and racing thoughts, no sleep, etc?

I have more clarity during the manic phases than the "normal" phases. I get far more creative, I think about things from all different angles (both a good and bad thing at times). This usually lasts about five to seven days, followed by a crash and burn where I sleep hard for a day or two, Right now I'm in a four week manic phase, the longest I've had in a couple years.

And for me it's not really mood swings like others seem to have. My mood is fairly consistent (bad), but my energy levels fluctuate madly, from barely being able to hold my head up, to not sleeping a wink for days (and this is with the meds...you should have seen me before).

I can't say much about your own situation, but from what I've seen here and in the Lounge it seems like you do have major depression at times, in fact quite often. That could explain why you feel happiness and acceptance in those rare times when the depression lifts a bit (I'm all too familiar with that, too). Bipolar disorder is a whole different ball of wax, but some of the symptoms do overlap. I knew I was depressed for a couple of decades, but never even thought of being bipolar until about 4 years ago, even though my father was too. It can be tough to tell them apart.

[UndertheOcean]

2. I suspect there is a spectrum of states between Bipolar and depression

My doc suggested trying a little dose of a mood stabilizer with the SSRI see where that goes ...... sometimes I feel like a guinea pig .

[Forkboy]

3. Get used to that guinea pig feeling.

I've had so many different meds shoved at me I can't even keep count, and that's exactly what it feels like.

But some people take to them real well, and there isn't a big need to keep trying different ones. Hopefully, you'll have some luck with them.

[blue neen]

4. It would be so much easier if they could just diagnose brain disorders

like they do everything else...bloodwork, MRI's, etc. Unfortunately, at this time they cannot. In the meantime, until your doctor finds the right combination for you, you do end up feeling like a guinea pig.

I hope you feel better and that the doctor comes up with something effective. :)

[UndertheOcean]

5. thanks for the kind words