I'd be depressed as hell no crying just like a monotone of emotions it made me look better to outside observers,
Than one day while I walked to the store , on the trip home ,I tried to run in front of a big truck, the urge to do that was sharp,sudden and impulsive, I ran into traffic the truck managed to stop like a foot away, and in the confusion realizing what I did, I just ran,ran away to the tunnel thing that people used to get from one part of town to the other, they never caught me,but after that I stopped taking the prozac and the tears came back but I didn't find myself impulsively running into traffic,I was in a residential program at that time. So I had to "cheek" the prozac, Soon after stopping like a week or so,I noticed I was crying again.Can't have any emotions,so they upped the prozac dose.Up and Up until they reached the ceiling limit. And gave up.
They never knew I wasn't taking it.
It seems some drugs like prozac are made to make OTHER people feel comfortable,and it isn't to benefit your mental health at all really .It just masks symptoms and fakes improvement.So parents and staff,family,etc. don't have to be burdened with seeing you are depressed,and the drug can help them easier tell themselves to not care because you look like you are doing ok to them.The observers can't get into your head.And psychiatry can tell itself another depressive has improved without addressing any of the deeper issues making you depressed. This is one thing I hate about the bio-psych model.
look at this article I link to,below..This illustrates what I'm talking about by masking symptoms of distress rather than stopping the root causes, which takes changes, Drugs to cure PSTD instead of the military admitting breaking a personality apart to rebuild it,flawed as in the abuse that is the norm in boot camp and desensitizing them to killing other humans harms the psyche they'd rather drug out memories and their moral center and conscience.Bio psych at it's most sickening.
http://www.abc.net.au/rn/science/mind/s817005.htm