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w8liftinglady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-07-11 09:24 PM
Original message
can I join? I need to talk...
I have been suffering from severe depression for months...well,years
part of it is the chronic illness thing.
Part of it is the economic thing.
Part of it is the coming-out thing.
It goes on and on.
How do you cope when your"things" seem so minor compared to others?
I feel wrong even mentioning it...except it's all I can do to get out of bed any more.
I'm lucky-I have good insurance and will see a psychiatrist eventually...will it even help?


sorry to bother...it feels good to just...talk.
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elleng Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-07-11 09:38 PM
Response to Original message
1. Don't compare with others, w8, depression is personal and awful.
Ask doc for relief. It works, I promise.

:hug:
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w8liftinglady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-07-11 10:40 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. thank you. sometimes,validation is the best healer...
:hug:
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elleng Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-07-11 10:52 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. I know, w8; been there, done that.
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mopinko Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-07-11 10:55 PM
Response to Original message
4. you don't deserve to suffer.
it isn't about how "big" your stuff is, it is about how well you can handle it. what emotional tools you have, and how sharp they are.
dragging myself out of quite a hole. big part of it was a drug reaction, and the world seemed hopeless. just stopping that one made things better the next day.
still have enough long term depression/anxiety to work on, but it is sort of amazing how different things seem.

please try. it is a very long slog most times. it might not work. but you don't deserve to suffer.
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postatomic Donating Member (478 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-07-11 11:18 PM
Response to Original message
5. All I can offer is a virtual hug
:hug:

What you've done is a huge step. You should feel very good about that. I wish I hadn't waited until I went into terminal meltdown. Yes, the psych doc will help. At least with meds. Do you have anyone in the real world that you can talk to? I know that can be hard.

And never never never compare your "things" to others and question your feelings. Depression is real and painful. (I sound like a fucking Pristiq commercial :P)

You're not alone. Be well.
:hi:
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-11 12:07 AM
Response to Original message
6. It's okay to take care of yourself.
Good to see you posting. :hug:
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w8liftinglady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-10-11 01:25 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. Thank you...Of course,
it's a hurry up and wait situation with the mental health department I have been referred to.Good psychiatrists and psychologists,but I am waiting....and waiting for them to contact me re:an appointment.
reality is a bitch.
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elleng Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-10-11 01:48 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. I suggest you take this up with your g.p., if you have one;
forget waiting for appointment with 'shrink.' My g.p. prescribed meds, while also suggesting 'talk therapy,' which I didn't, fyi, bother with. (Hope you weren't 'referred' by g.p., who didn't want to prescribe.)

:hug:
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HereSince1628 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-10-11 06:12 PM
Response to Reply #8
10. Yes, psych-pros will probably want all the medical conditions that could effect
Edited on Fri Jun-10-11 06:17 PM by HereSince1628
mental health/state of mind to be under treatment before they start any sort of therapy.

Wherever a psych-med Rx comes from you shouldn't be totally discouraged if the first anti-depressant you are prescribed doesn't work satisfactorily.

The SSRI's and the SNRI's provide relief for millions of people, but because of differences between people it turns out that no one drug always works perfectly for everyone.

SOoooo, be ready for a bit of trial and error over a period of months to get to a drug that really helps you.

Remember that just because the first few drugs you try don't work the GP or Psychiatrist who prescribed them didn't necessarily make a mistake or didn't know what he/she was doing. It's part of the sorting out process to match you to a suitable med.

BTW, when you really want help it's definitely hard to stick to things that don't seem to work right away, many of the anti-depressants take weeks to really start making a difference. The changes are likely to be subtle--you may not even notice them happening. You've got to stick to them to get to the benefit.


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postatomic Donating Member (478 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-11-11 02:07 PM
Response to Reply #8
11. Good suggestion
Our Family Doc started me out on my first drug cocktail. Got all the drugs I needed immediately and I went to a Licensed Therapist rather than a 'shrink'. I found that 'talk therapy' with a shrink was too clinical for me. When I talk with someone I want to feel like I'm interacting with that person. Having the drugs I needed immediately bought me some time to get into a psych doc for my 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and now 5th drug cocktail.

You can start feeling like a Guinea pig with drug changes but I've learned that treating Mental Illness is not an exact science. Not even close.

It can take a month or more for a particular drug to really start working, as Heresince already mentioned.

There are some things that drugs will not help with. It's a combination of drugs and therapy that work best. I would add starting a journal to the mix.

I'm responding to you and W8~ here. Included are those that just read. I certainly don't have all the answers. We are all different but share some common desires and goals. Hopefully those that just read can pick out little bits that are helpful.

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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-10-11 04:22 PM
Response to Reply #7
9. I hear that. I've been surfing a depression w/o a doc for about 4 years now.
I don't now how you feel about anti-depressants but if you have a decent gp, s/he should be able to talk to you about options while you hurry up and wait. In the past, I asked for and got prozac from mine and in my case, it made a big difference.
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Evoman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-11 02:47 PM
Response to Original message
12. Just remember....you are not alone
Edited on Sun Jun-12-11 02:47 PM by Evoman
And your pain is just as valid as anyone else. How often do we have compassion for others, but none left for ourselves? Have compassion for yourself w8lifting lady.

If your interested, I've written a blog post about that. Also in the blog post is my entire story about depression and ptsd.

http://thedanarchist.blogspot.com/
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postatomic Donating Member (478 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-11 03:00 AM
Response to Reply #12
13. You blog says many things I've not been able to say
In a way I'd like to communicate it. Thanks. I plan on reading more of your entries later.

I gave up on trying to do a blog about how fucked up I am. I just kept drifting into complete nonsense (more the norm these days, I'm ashamed to admit)

Wish I had the ability to convey my feelings in a way that others could appreciate. Understand. Or, at the very least, understand 50% of it.
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Evoman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-15-11 12:37 AM
Response to Reply #13
16. It's been a weird experience, blogging.
At first it was difficult, and I was insanely afraid of what my friends would think (I link to every entry on Facebook, where i have almost all my friends and family, and even acquaintances (high school, etc). I was expecting at least some stigma and loss of friendships. But all I got was comments telling me how brave I am and sympathy. I guess it's possible some people don't like my truth, but I tell myself....well...in that case, they don't like the REAL me. It's been surreal...and abbsolutely worth it.

I refuse to hide any more.
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Forkboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-11 04:53 PM
Response to Original message
14. I kind of relate to the feeling wrong about mentioning it part, in two ways.
I have thyroid cancer, and of all the cancers one can get this is pretty much the easiest one to treat. The surgery to remove the thyroid and 21 lymph nodes was extensive (about 130-140 stitches) and that part sucked. But the actual radiation was just in pill form, and I didn't have to go through chemo, so really it's just the mental side of things, the nagging wondering about it. But that's it.

In comparison, my mother had breast cancer, went though massive radiation, chemo that did a number on her, and then, after seven years of being free of breast cancer she discovered a brain tumor, and that cervical cancer had spread to her liver, lungs and bones. She died 5 weeks later. Hard to feel sorry for myself in light of that, and I do feel guilty sometimes telling people that I have cancer myself, unless it's in a supportive way that might help someone else.

The second way is something I just discussed down here not too long ago. My counselor is pushing me to discuss PTSD in my case, and I've been very resistant, because to me PTSD is something that soldiers returning home from war have to deal with, or something victim's of sexual abuse have to deal with. I was never physically or sexually abused in any way, I just had no parents on the scene from age 10 onwards. I understand that neglect is a form of abuse, but I still feel so uncomfortable putting myself in the same category as people have gone through so much worse. My teen years were completely chaotic, but actually kind of fun, because there was no one telling me what I could or couldn't do. I can remember a bunch of hellish things, but I also remember a bunch of really cool things about that time.

But...

I think this position that I'm holding on these issues, and the one you're feeling, may be wrong. Maybe we shouldn't feel guilty. Maybe it's not a comparison of who has gone through what. If there's something there there, then so be it. Let's accept that and move on to dealing with it for what it is (some kind people here have just recently made me rethink all of this).

As for your depression, in my opinion there's no such thing as "minor" depression. Anything lasting more than a day or two starts to affect us in bad ways. I've had depressive episodes that have lasted for 8 - 10 months at a time (one so bad it cost me my marriage, despite my ex and I never having a single argument or raised voices with each other over anything...it was just too much on her to see me so far removed, from her and everyone else. It took her leaving, and a suicide attempt a few months later for me to finally get help). Like you said, it just goes on and on, and no matter what the reason that's a hellish way to live each day. I'm bipolar as well, but I'll take that over even moderate depression any day. It's just so soul crushing. But I've learned that I'm not alone in this, and I hope you can learn that too. Misery does love company, not because we want to see people hurting, but because it helps you realize that others CAN understand what you're dealing with. For the longest time I felt there was no way I could relate to someone on the topic of depression. Not that I felt mine was the worst case in the world, just that it was unique. But it really isn't, and finding that out actually made me feel a little better, and let me open up those who I do think understand it (like I'm doing here with you. :) ) Five years ago I never would have said anything like this about myself to anyone, let alone a message board full of strangers. I still suffer from bouts of massive depression, and I suspect I always will. But I no longer feel alone in that, and that does help a lot.

Your posting in this forum will never be a bother. :hug:
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LiberalEsto Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-11 09:18 PM
Response to Original message
15. Sounds like you're hurting a lot
I've been trying to deal with heavy depression too. This past week for some reason the economic crap and everything else hit me like a ton of bricks. I played a lot of computer solitaire.

What helps? Not a whole lot. Working in the garden. Taking Vitamin D. We dragged ourselves to our Unitarian church on Sunday for the first time in months, and that helped some. Avoiding the news for a few days. None of these is a miracle cure, but bit by bit they start adding up.

It doesn't matter if your problems seem minor compared to others. You're hurting, and that's what's important.

Sending you healing light.

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mopinko Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-15-11 08:49 AM
Response to Reply #15
17. the garden
my salvation right now. i have no idea where i am going, but i know that there are weeds to pull and compost to turn, etc, etc, etc. i work until i am exhausted, sleep, get up, do it all again. some day it will be winter again but until then i have a purpose.
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w8liftinglady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-11 01:02 PM
Response to Original message
18. My psych doc upped my antidepressant again...and this time it seems to be helping.
I'm hoping this is the "golden ticket".
My kid leaves for Afghanistan tomoroow.
Thanks for being there.
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elleng Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-11 01:56 PM
Response to Reply #18
19. ALWAYS here, w8. Good to hear meds working;
they did for me, tho 'circumstances' getting to me now. So let's hold hands, OK?
:hi:
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w8liftinglady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-11 05:16 PM
Response to Reply #19
20. Holding hands, friend!
:pals:
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Fire Walk With Me Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-11 05:40 PM
Response to Original message
21. Hugs hugs hugs...
Here's to YOU, w8liftinglady, every part of you.

:hug:
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BrendaBrick Donating Member (859 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 01:46 PM
Response to Original message
22. Have you ever heard of a "weighted blanket"?
I just found out about them and have splurged and ordered one yesterday (10% off and free shipping expires today). I ordered mine from here:

http://www.weightedblanket.net/index.htm

Their 'Testimonial Page' is quite impressive:

http://www.weightedblanket.net/weightedblankets.htm

If you've ever been to the dentist or had x-rays for any other reason and liked the feeling of the protective weight "bib", you might benefit from this.

Take care...you're dealing with a full plate!
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