Sometimes I wish I could still get high

[Tobin S.]

This is probably not going to be politically correct but it will be reality. And that's what we are interested in here in the mental health forum. Right?

I got high for the first time when I was 15 and the last time when I was 23. I'm 37 now. I never really used drugs habitually and the heaviest drug I used was LSD. Most of the time I just smoked marijuana when I got high.

The thing that got me to quit using drugs was not my illness. I became a trucker when I was 24 and that is a profession that is really strict about drug use. You have to pass a pre-employment drug test to get a job in trucking. You also have to submit to random drug testing while you are employed as a trucker. Trucking companies are required by federal law to drug test 50% of their drivers every year. And if you are in an accident while driving a truck and a vehicle is towed away and/or a person is taken away from the scene in an ambulance, you have to submit to a drug test whether the accident was your fault or not.

Truckers are held to a higher standard than the rest of the motoring public and most people would probably say rightly so. It would probably not be a good idea for me to get high now days regardless, what with the head meds and all. I'd still like to try it again, though.

I was driving around tonight running some errands. I was going through an old neighborhood where I used to hang out and party, and Led Zepplin came on the radio- one of my favorite groups to listen to when I was partying. And that combination took me back to those days and nostalgia washed over me.

There was a time in my life when I wanted more responsibility. Today I feel like someone else can have it.

[EFerrari]

1. Been there, Had the hangover.

I was never constrained by anyone else from any kind of using but there have been times when I timed myself out. And whenever I gave in to whatever it was that I thought I was being "deprived of" by me, it turned out not to be as good as I remembered it. I was wanting some other, idealized, not in real life thingy.

Not very sexy but there it is.

:)

[mopinko]

2. good luck with this passage

i am sure you will be fine. just in a rusty, crusty spot.
thanks for being a safe trucker.

[qb]

3. I get that nostalgic feeling when someone in my recovery group talks about drinking themselves into

oblivion. Seeing people drink socially doesn't affect me. I never drank socially. It's the drinking alone until I'm wasted that I miss.