Signs you are already in hell:

[fshrink]

- A bona fide idiot more or less rules the world
- Your entire work-life is spent enriching a handful of others and you don't even like your job
- Secretely, you know that you can't even live by your own standards
- Your vote is virtual
- You actually replaced your penis by a car
- You vaguely notice re-runs and fall asleep on the Weather Channel
- Your dreams are the only place you can fulfill your wishes and you can't even remember them
- You cheat on your taxes
- Windows
- Your best hope for political change is Hillary Clinton
.....
Endless list follows
.....

[beam me up scottie]

1. You posted flamebait

and no one takes it.

[beam me up scottie]

2. *crickets chirping*

tough house tonight.

[fshrink]

3. Everyone watching re-runs.

At best!

[beam me up scottie]

4. foo

I ain't got no stinkin' tv.
I'm watching my cat hork up a hairball.
Alone.
With no beer.
and no heat (long story)
in a red state.
Okay, I'm going to kill myself now...





nah, too tired tonight, I'll do it tomorrow.

[fshrink]

5. That's actually accurate:

People don't kill themselves when they are depressed. It's when they get better!

[beam me up scottie]

6. Hey!

That ties into your theme, doesn't it?

[A HERETIC I AM]

7. Some other signs ala Dante'

- Your neighbor is a Pope from the middle ages
- The gnashing of teeth from the guy down the hall is keeping you up at night
- Fire with brimstone makes your steaks taste funny
- You have been admiring a lovely 2/br 1+1/2bath on the ring up the hill
- You wrack your brain trying to find appropriate, fireproof decking material for your porch over the lake
- Instead of the sign that read "Abandon all hope, ye that enter here" you lobby for a sign that says "Last Dairy Queen for....well....quite a ways"
- You are convinced Virgil didnt show you the best properties

[beam me up scottie]

8. I've got reservations on the 7th

how about you?