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gollygee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 08:32 AM
Original message
I think I've outed myself
My neighbor said she picked up an enrollment application from the preschool her kids go to for my daughter. I said that my husband and I aren't religious and don't want our daughter going to a religious preschool, but thanks for thinking of us.

We're more agnostic than athiest - I don't know if there's a god and I don't really care. My husband feels the same way. I was afraid to tell her that we're agnostic but "not religious" to the point where we'll spend two or three times as much for preschool to avoid it pretty much spells that out I think.

This is a very conservative and religious neighborhood and I'm afraid of backlash.
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trotsky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 08:50 AM
Response to Original message
1. Good luck to you.
Hopefully this won't cause a backlash, but gossip spreads faster than wildfire, especially among the holier-than-thou set. If pressed, you could always say you prefer to give religious instruction to your children yourself. Not really a lie now, is it? ;-)
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progressoid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 11:59 AM
Response to Original message
2. Look on the bright side
If word gets around (and it probably will), you won't have to worry about being invited over for bible study!

One of my daughter's friends family is fundish and they invited her to go see some xian concert which we politely declined. Later, they asked if she wanted to see "The Passion" (they had an extra ticket). She was nine years old fer crying out loud! So then I declined less politely so the invites have ended.
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Rhiannon12866 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 02:12 PM
Response to Original message
3. My friend has a similar problem
She's started teaching and is self-conscious about not fitting in when the talk, in the teachers' lounge, turns to their various churches. I told her that I was surprised, that I thought that organized religion and church membership was on the wane, but, apparently not. There are all sorts or religious retreats close to her neighborhood. I was kind of shocked.

But it is certainly unthinking, if not downright rude, to just assume that anyone that you meet would naturally share your religious beliefs. There are so many religions in the world, for all these people know you could be Jewish, Muslim, Hindu or Buddhist.

I'd just say "no thanks" and leave it at that. Your religion, or lack of it, and how you raise your daughter, is nobody's business but yours. I can see how you'd be self-conscious, in a close neighborhood, about not fitting in, but I think that your behavior towards others should count much more than if you attend church or whether you send your child to a religious pre-school.
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Biased Liberal Media Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 06:11 PM
Response to Original message
4. I understand how you feel. We live in a Xian town
and we're "outed" Atheists. I fear the repercussions that will come along with being an Atheist in this community. I love the town because it's a small town and generally friendly, but it's very secular.

Good luck to you!!!
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Az Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 06:22 PM
Response to Original message
5. Nearly outed my folks today
I was over at their place to setup a new computer for them when the snowplow came through and buried their driveway. So me and my dad went out to clear the snow. Down the street came a pair young men dressed in black and carrying little black books ( :evilgrin: ).

My parents are soft agnostic/atheists (from your description so are you as you don't have an active belief in god). But they definately don't advertise it. So as I stood there sizing up these to evangelists my dad said I looked like a wolf stalking it's prey ( ). Out of respect for their anonymity I did not engage in discussion with the lads.
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JNelson6563 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-16-05 08:14 AM
Response to Reply #5
7. "a wolf stalking it's prey"
I don't doubt it Az, I've enjoyed watching you in that mode before. When I see Az has posted in a religious thread, it's must read stuff. ;-)

Julie
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PassingFair Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-15-05 11:12 PM
Response to Original message
6. You shouldn't be ashamed or afraid!
I used to back down and say stuff about privacy. One day, I heard a woman I was acquainted with say "We are a SECULAR family" and she was LOUD and PROUD. I remember how much I admired her for telling the simple truth. It made me happy to hear it. Now I say the same thing.
Gets a blank stare back, sometimes, but it makes my day.
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