In honor of Alex Arredondo... (xpost from GD)

[unhappycamper]

Posted with permission of author

Why I Live…

I am a fruitless female who has had the best of love by her boys…her joys…
I am a woman defined by a stepson she has loved…who was killed at war….
I am step-mama still who watches a younger brother grieve alone, no one is allowed in…

Pictures in my mind and whispers possess me in the night…
I am kept company by the knowledge that two young men have loved and still love me…

I still see Alex – green eyes smiling in someone else’s face…
His spirit makes me smile when I see a puppy, a ten year old, a young man…
Memories flood me and often flow down my chin…
I see “AlexnBrian”, one word, a pair, two peas, only apart after a fight…

I had a “sun” named Alex shine on me from the time he was eight until twenty years, twenty days…
I had Brian and him as kids, running, screaming, making me dizzy and jumping out windows…
I’ve seen Brian’s booboos left by ill willed hornets and the scratches left by a bike that tossed Alex off…
I’ve slept at their feet, in their tent, them unaware, their arms overhead as they breathed deep in slumber…

Then 1095 days ago – that world ended…
A bullet was fired from a snipers rifle into my “son’s” skull leaving his brains in his helmet…
His blood on a Marine named Mike who continues haunted at the guilt over surviving that battle…

Eight hours passed before the three came towards “Dad” who quietly painted a fence…
His birthday that day…His joy squelched by a lack of military intelligence…
No chaplain, no glass of water, no manners…
“Lcpl. Alexander Arredondo was killed honorably at battle”
Broken glass cutting agony unleashed by their words…

Powerless, having unleashed the cruel truth, the Marines stood in their dress blues…
In the driveway watching, talking on their cell phones…

Left mute, unable to scream…my husband and heart and best friend set himself on fire…
A choice less painful than the grief that engulfed him…

Flames awoke this Dad from his stupor so he could scream from his melting skin …
He screamed for Alex to be reborn and for Brian’s great loss…
He screamed over the injustice of a lost family…
He screamed over his failure as a father…

I then found my husband as he lay before me charred, moaning, unable to breathe…
His Mother crying, wailing in Spanish, wanting to trade places so he did not suffer…
I calmed him and begged for mercy with the Marines, with God and with the police…

Helicopters, fire trucks, an ambulance, cami-covered officers and cops prey on this scene…
We were now camera-fodder as I answer my husband’s abandoned phone…
And speak to Brian, 17, watching CNN from 2000 miles North…watching us…
Pictures taken of my mask of agony for front-page consumption…

That day, an angel lost his earthly wings and left his family…
That day, a family died…Grief replaced the unity…
That day, a new spirit was reborn in each of us who faced the unbearable…
Yet, our Marine was killed…

Today, I appreciate things I never noticed…
Moments others hate…
A baby crying on a crowded plane doesn’t upset me.
An angry person who takes aim at me doesn’t wound…
My tears tear me up at times, then cleanse me of the anger that possesses my soul…

I see olive green clad troops who all resemble Alex…
I see their futures before me…fruitful lives…

I sacrifice family and friends to the work at keeping them each alive…
I aim for their parent’s wails to stay at bay, in the distance, going farther and farther away…

I work for what is just so no others endure flame-ridden grief…
Not metaphors…Too real…

I teach justice indiscriminately, even those with fingers in their ears whistling tunes of intolerance…
Plant seeds of peace in each child I meet and love unconditionally…
Just like AlexnBrian planted their love and such peaceful memories in me…
To bloom…To germinate the soil in each soul…To flower like the carnations on Alex’s grave…

These words are in honor of Lcpl. Alexander Scott Arredondo, KIA 08/25/04 in An Najaf, Iraq. My works and words are for him and all of those killed during the Iraqi occupation.


Mélida Arredondo,
Remembering Alex Arredondo and all those
who died too young at war to aid the Iraqi people
and his own nation, the USA,
and while protecting his buddies...
08/05/84 - 08/25/04



uhc comment: Mel and Carlos will be with us this weekend in Kennebunkport.