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oh my gosh YOU GUYS I'm totally shilling this Autumn

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Heddi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-22-09 11:09 AM
Original message
oh my gosh YOU GUYS I'm totally shilling this Autumn
I have a dirty secret that I've never told y'all--I AM A NURSE. Exceptional, I know, but I felt it was important to come clean on my deep dark secret.

Not ONLY am I about to change careers (cardiac nurse to EMERGENCY ROOM nurse) on Monday dun dun dunnnn

buttttttttttttttttttttttt

I also signed up with a company and this fall I'm going to be giving out VACCINES for the flu and possibly PORK FLU if they get that vaccine ready.

NOT ONLY THAT but I'll be giving the vaccines at WAL MART omg! ANDDDD I'll be getting paid FOUR HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS an HOUR to do it.

Actually not that much, but the SAME as my EMERGENCY ROOM nursing wage, which is nothing to sniff at.

So my question: What should I do with my SHILL MONEY that is coming DIRECTLY from AUTISMING and THIMEROSOLING the public? If this isn't pure unadulterated BLOOD MONEY I don't know what is, and I just don't know what to do with it.

Should I...

1) Feel guilty about taking the money and donate it to a naturopathic college of homeopathy?

2) not feel guilty and spend it on hookers and coke (or, in my case, pepsi and my husband ;-/


I AM SO CONFUSED!!!
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salvorhardin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-22-09 11:42 AM
Response to Original message
1. Everything in moderation
Take the middle path. Feel vaguely guilty about your white-privileged, consumerist lifestyle and then blow it all on weed, vintage retro clothes and Doctor Who action figures. Compensate by buying an upscale recycling center for your home.
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SemiCharmedQuark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-23-09 10:33 PM
Response to Reply #1
5. And then get on the internet and tell people that you don't even OWN a TV.
Edited on Sun Aug-23-09 10:34 PM by SemiCharmedQuark
Because TV is for the unwashed masses who don't know any better.
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mr blur Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-22-09 01:01 PM
Response to Original message
2. Use it to advance the cause of Socialism and/or
despicable Nazi practices like free healthcare for all. That way you can shill for Big Pharma and Big Gub'mint at the same time.

But lose your birth certificate first.


Alternatively (and this may be the wiser option), spend it on goat's cheese. I would.
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TZ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-22-09 05:24 PM
Response to Original message
3. how many times must I remind you?
You need to be giving me MY cut of your profit as I'm the one formulating the poison er um vaccines for you to use. Big Yak is displeased with you..;)
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immoderate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-22-09 06:29 PM
Response to Original message
4. A nurse? Who woulda thunk it?
:shrug:

--imm
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dropkickpa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-24-09 09:39 AM
Response to Original message
6. DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Spend it AT Wal-Mart, you ninny!!!!! You'll be right there, you can pick up nifty Nascar stuffs made in china, support the downfall of all mankind, eat cheeto's while walking around turning yourself orange and encourage MORE people to get autismized and maybe rub of some more mercury on them!!!
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