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yankeeinlouisiana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 11:17 PM
Original message
Need a hug, guys.
My husband and I are getting a divorce. I don't want to, but he does. And yes, there is another woman. Things are just all so confusing I don't even know where to start. We have three children and I know I can't support them on my own. He has no idea what he is doing.

Thanks for letting me ramble.
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Proud_Lefty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 11:33 PM
Response to Original message
1. YIL - I'm sending you light
This is the hardest thing to go through, but every time I've seen it happen, the weak person running away from their commitments are ultimately the ones that can't find the strength to cope with anything. Focus on the love you have for your children and realize how you've stuck to your commitments as you always promised. I know this only slightly helps you cope with such a loss, but try to understand that when the dust settles, you will see how everything actually will work to your benefit. Every time I've seen this situation, the one being left is eventually shown how much more their life had to offer WITHOUT the one that left them.
Sending lots of love and light your way. :hug:
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yankeeinlouisiana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 11:50 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Thanks, Proud Lefty.
Your words really did help and in an odd way, that is part of his reasoning. He feels he's holding me back. I'm not sure if he really believes that or if it helps him sleep at night.
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Shallah Kali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 04:57 AM
Response to Original message
3. Reiki on the way to you and your kids
:grouphug:
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I Have A Dream Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 05:56 AM
Response to Original message
4. I'm so sorry, yil.
I remember your writing to us before about your situation. :(

I'm sending lots of love and supportive energy your way. I'm also asking that the Universe help you and your family the way that is best for your highest good. May you find the strength to weather this situation so that you get through whatever will happen quickly and easily and come out on the other side with a life that is filled with love, happiness, peace and prosperity.

You're not alone. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

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mysticalchick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 06:29 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. IHAD, I can add nothing ..
... to your exquisite words and seconding that I am sending much love and light to you and your family, Yankee. While one is mired in a situation, the gifts of that same situation are hard to see. Know that all will work out and the only way out is through. We're here for you.

Peace and love to you.
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LiberalEsto Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 07:17 AM
Response to Original message
6. Blessings of strength and healing to you
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Hold your head high and know that you are a good person.
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 07:33 AM
Response to Original message
7. ((((( yil and Children of yil )))))
May you be given the strength and financial resources to get through this with grace.
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Callie McAllie Donating Member (873 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 07:33 AM
Response to Original message
8. I'm so sorry
What a time for this to happen, too, right before the holidays! My thoughts are with you, Yankee.

Do the kids know yet? How are they taking it?
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yankeeinlouisiana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 05:40 PM
Response to Reply #8
12. No, the kids do not know about the divorce yet.
It's odd, but he hasn't told anyone yet. It's like he's trying to keep it a secret.

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MorningGlow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 12:12 PM
Response to Original message
9. So sorry to hear this, Yankee
Sending light and hugs, of course. :hug: :hug: :hug:

Saw one of your replies downthread--maybe he really IS holding you back and spoke those words unconsciously. Once you're free and have found your footing, you'll be able to be anyone and do anything you wish. You have more strength than you know, Yankee. It will reveal itself in time.

P.S.: You don't have to support your children on your own. Call a lawyer ASAP if you haven't already. Your husband owes child support--BIG TIME.
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crikkett Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 01:19 PM
Response to Original message
10. you got it
:hug:

Good grief. I'm sorry for your loss. Hang in there.
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Cleita Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 04:26 PM
Response to Original message
11. Not to be crassly money minded by this, but
Edited on Fri Dec-05-08 04:27 PM by Cleita
I hope you live in a state that recognizes community property. Also, I would think that child support would be a given on his part if he expects the children to live with you or if you want them to live with you. I would get a lawyer really soon. Most lawyers will give you a free consultation. I will be sending you and your children healing vibes to cope with this as well on a spiritual level. :grouphug:
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yankeeinlouisiana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 05:51 PM
Response to Reply #11
14. Yes, Louisiana is a community property state.
And yes, I will be asking for child support. He has already told me that he won't leave me financially strapped.
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yankeeinlouisiana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 05:49 PM
Response to Original message
13. Thank you everyone for all of your kind words, support
and especially your hugs!!!! :hug:

I sent him an email this morning and listed the things I need him to do around the house and things we still need to talk about. I told him to block out several hours, because there are a lot of things to discuss.

I took off my wedding rings and my other jewelery from him last night. I woke up this morning around 3:30 am and just laid there for a few hours. I really depressed this morning, but I finally got up, took a shower and started my day. I feel much better and actually a bit empowered. I think by me sending him the email I took a stand and told him what I needed rather than me asking him what he needs.

I'm not out of the woods yet, but I'm hanging in there and I know, eventually, me and the children will be find.

Thanks again!!

:grouphug:
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amitten Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 11:06 PM
Response to Original message
15. I am sorry. Lots of hugs your way! n/t
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