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Ecumenist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-10-06 02:57 AM
Original message
She visited me....
As those of you know, my MIL passed over on sunday evening, (march 5, 2006). This also happened to be the 2nd anniversary of my mom's memorial. My husband called me, as I was here in California and he was there keeping vigil with his mom in hospice, making sure that the windows were opened and the mirror and tv covered when she passed over. when he called me and made the announcement that she'd passed, we both cried although we weren't completely surprised as I had predicted that she's leave on the same day we had said goodbye to my mom. He asked me to please look for her, as family members and friends ALWAYS seem to come to me when they pass away and I was particularly wanting to have an ADC with my MIL because she'd not known that her son was married UNTIL he told her on the day before she passed away. That was the last time I spoke on the phone and it was so sweet. She was really slurring her words and going into a coma. DH had called me to update me. He asked me if I wanted to speak to her, which of course I did.
He asked her if she wanted to say hello to me and she said she did. I said hello to her and I took the chance to tell her that I loved her, saying, I love you, sugar. I could barely understand her but I did hear her say something. Now, my husband couldn't hear me say what I did to her but told me later on that he distinctly heard her say to me, "I love you too." I was so touched. I found out that he told her later on that evening that it was okay for her to go because he'd been married for 5 happy years and that I had the same type of personality that she did. I believed in God and I would take care of him, so it was okay for her to go home.
At that point, she could no longer speak, answering yes or no questions by blinking her eyes and squeezing his hand. He'd told her that she would probably be surprised to see that I was a bit, er...tanned but that he couldn't find another person as good as me for him if he'd searched the whole world and the local galaxies. So, when she finally crossed and I was a bit nervous about meeting my MIL in person. That night, (Sunday), I had a dream. In the Dream, I saw my mom and we were building two cabins. These were cabins in the truest sense of the word. there were women and girls of all age and though I knew how they were in the dream, I don't have the slightest idea how they are, outside of the dream. I made a comment to my mom that this lady and her daughter were going to be chilly because they were from Hawaii and the wall they would be sleeping next to faced the wind. With that, my mom, (never camped a day in her life if it involved really getting natural), went out, picked up a stone fireplace, complete with chimney and literally slapped it onto the side of the cabin. I then made a comment about having to insulate that same wall and somehow came up with batting type of insulation that was actually covered with some sort of black netting. Now I only insulated ONE WALL, (the cabin was rectangular in shape and I covered the short wall), one wall only. My mother then asked me to get something, I don't remember what it was. I said okay and told her that I would be right back. She had a smile on her face as she sent me on this errand. When I exited the cabin, I saw that the two cabins were back to back at an angle, forming a "V", with that same short wall at the point of the V.
I realised that we were somewhere on the Lost Coast of the Northern California and for some reason I cannot shake, I knew it was in the King Mountain range. I walked up to a pathway, which was elevated about 4 feet above the surrounding clearing. There was a "ditch" that ran alongside this path and on the other side of that ditch was a glade the gave way to heavier redwood and cedar forest, ( I'm certain of this because I saw the bark of the REdwoods and the leaves and smelled the Cedars). This path I walking along was filled with people walking along it, mostly older couples walking arm in arm but there were young people and children running too. It was a spring like day with dappled shaded and I noticed that as I walked through this forest along the path, where there was shade, there as unmelted snow. This pathway was full of individuals and couples walking in differ nt directions BUT it couldn't have been more than 3 feet wide BUT NOONE EVER RAN INTO ANYONE.
I was noticing the flowering shrubs(azaleas and Rhododendrons and a few other's I didn't recognise when I heard someone call my name. It was a woman's voice and it sounded like an amalgam of Melanie and Melody, coming out Melondy. I turned my head into the direction name.
There, in that ditch and struggling to get to the path was a woman. She was slender though not wasted appearing like my dear MIL was in the last months of her life here. This lady had on a pantsuit of some sort, Tan trousers and matching suit coat with either a dark blue or black 3/4 length jacked on, closed with a belt; she was also wearing clunky heels and had a purse with hand straps looped over her forearm. Strangely most of her face was blurry, like a photo of someone who moved just as the photo was taken. BUT I recognised those eye, they are the eyes of my Husband. I asked her if she needed help and without waiting for her to answer, I reached out with my left hand and asked her to take it. I started to pull her as she was struggling to get on the path. When she was almost on the path, she let go of my hand and looked like she was going to get on the path BUT started to fall backwards. Just then, a man I could only see as a silhouette appeared behind her and caught her with his splayed hands on her back and ribcage. I was horrified and again reached my left hand out to her. When she grabbed hold, I placed my right hand over her hers, crouched down like I was playing "Tug of War" and pulled while that man pushed. We finally got her on that footpath.
She hugged me and then again, grabbed my left hand. The Silhouette man placed his arm around her to steady her and we began to walk and talk. She told me that she loved the area and the last time she was there, there were patches of unmelted snow wherever the forest cast a shadow. She was laughing and giggling and I noticed that not only was her hair different but it was longer than it was when she passed, with barrettes or combs just behind the temple to hold the hair back out of her eyes. WE started to chat when I was brought out of the dream by my husband calling. I realised that that errand my mom sent me on and the smile was because she knew that my MIL would be there waiting for me on the path. I told my husband about the ADC and he started to cry. I told him that Mom was not only okay but literally tickled to be there. There was confirmation a few days later...
Her memorial was set for wednesday march 8@ 5:45 pm mountain time. I told my husband that since I couldn't be there at the ceremony, I would offer prays in her honour here. I read the prayers for the Dead, Roman CAtholic and Orthodox. After I finished some 45 minutes later, I heard a sound near the back door. It was the cooing of a Mourning Dove. I got choked up, needless to say.
WEll, DH arrived home tonight with a mountain of old family photos. As I was going through them, I came upon a high school photo of my MIL. The hairstyle was exactly the same, just no barrettes or combs other than that, it was the same one I saw. I know that she and my mother worked together to facilitate my meeting her because I wasn't able to when she was here. I am so grateful and happy that I was somehow able to help her on the path she needed to be on.
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I Have A Dream Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-10-06 04:47 AM
Response to Original message
1. Wow - what a wonderful story!
I'm so glad that you were finally able to meet your dear MIL. What a gift that dream is to both you and your husband!

Thank you so much for letting us know, Ecumenist.

:hug:
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FreedomAngel82 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-10-06 12:25 PM
Response to Reply #1
5. Oh yes
It sounds so peaceful too and in a nice enviornment for everyone involved. :) Hopefully you'll (orignial poster) get to talk to her again soon.
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Ecumenist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-11-06 03:14 AM
Response to Reply #5
11. I know that she'll come to me again.....
She and my mom seem to have a partnership and sent love to both my husband and me.
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Ecumenist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-11-06 03:13 AM
Response to Reply #1
10. I'll always be thankful to God...
To allow me on the border of Heaven to meet her and to have had the supreme priviledge to lead her to her new life as my husband, her only son held her hand and she left this world.
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NMDemDist2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-10-06 08:20 AM
Response to Original message
2. i've been watching for this post
:grouphug:
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crikkett Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-10-06 03:00 PM
Response to Reply #2
7. me too
thank you
:grouphug:
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Ecumenist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-11-06 03:15 AM
Response to Reply #2
12. I'm thankful for people like you, AZ
and I will be getting in touch with you soon..
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lavenderdiva Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-10-06 10:54 AM
Response to Original message
3. Wow. just wow. Ecumenist, that is such a beautiful story,
and I am SO glad you were the one to help put your dear MIL on her path! That she reached for you, and you wouldn't stop until she was on the path. That is just beautiful. I was hoping you would post how you 2 would meet, as I was sure it would happen, and after reading about your experience, am so happy and glad for you, and it is such a sweet story! Thank you for sharing!!! :hug:

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Ecumenist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-11-06 03:18 AM
Response to Reply #3
13. You know, Lavender,
I really didn't realise the literal and symbolic meaning of what I was allowed to do for my mothr in law. I have always been the problem solver and caregiver, from day one. I am thankful for this priviledge. DH hasn't seen her yet but I told him that she'll come to him when his mourning and grief subsides enough to allow her through.
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Pathwalker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-10-06 12:10 PM
Response to Original message
4. Exquisite. Very moving.
Thank you for sharing your experience.
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Ecumenist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-11-06 03:20 AM
Response to Reply #4
14. Thank you, Bohemian....
:hi: I wanted to ask you if your screenname indicates that you're Bohemian. My huband is Bohemian Czech from central Texas and it was intriguing to see your screenname. Are you also a boczech?
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Pathwalker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-11-06 11:25 AM
Response to Reply #14
18. Um, I don't think so. I'm a Euro-mutt, but my father's ancestry was
a wierd mix of Scottish, French and ROM. So, I'm part(tiny) Gypsy, and I wear that part of my ancestry with pride. Is that Bohemian Czech?
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Ecumenist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-11-06 06:53 PM
Response to Reply #18
21. LOL!!!
:rofl: That's okay honey. I'm a bit of a mutt myself, afroeuroasiaticamerindian. Had scotch-irish greatfather and have roots in china, pilipines, france, spain, germany, wales , england and God only knows where else in Europe and several Indian nations. You're not bohemian czech but Youve Got Roma blood? I almost married a hungarian gypsy and it's a VERY ancient and lovely culture. You should be VERY proud. :pals:
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Why Syzygy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-10-06 01:43 PM
Response to Original message
6. That is awesome!
Gave me chill bumps. My dad visited me for about two years. In one dream I had to tell him outright, you are dead, daddy. He didn't seem to realize. It seems he may have been looking for a path too. Those are such special memories. I'm glad you have that.
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Ecumenist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-11-06 03:22 AM
Response to Reply #6
15. It's a very precious thing when you receive.....
visits from loved ones who have made their journey to the other side. I see my mother and grandfather, (her dad) on a regular basis and have had most, if not all, of my relatives and friends, some I really didn't know, come to me and visit, imparting messages for those left behind.
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DemExpat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-10-06 05:14 PM
Response to Original message
8. Truly fantastic, enthralling!
Every word was magic - thanks so much for sharing this here.

:grouphug:

DemEx
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Ecumenist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-11-06 03:25 AM
Response to Reply #8
16. Thank you, DEM...
I suppose this is why I have finally accepted that I'm the next thing to the otherworldly western union. It feels good to be a member of a group of people like those in this forum who understand why things like this are important to give hope of the next stage after this life is over.
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NJCher Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-10-06 11:25 PM
Response to Original message
9. I know
I had something similar happen to me although my husband's mother passed away many, many years ago and in fact, way before I met him.

But in so many ways I feel like I know her because of stories he's told me about her. I think some of her qualities are qualities I have, too.

One night I had a dream and she told me something. I treasure this thought that she imparted to me.

A month or so ago my husband visited his sister and she gave him a lovely family photo album that she had put together just for him. It had a picture of his mother in it, along with her children, and I was struck with what beautiful, natural good looks she had. I got all kinds of feelings from just looking at that photo for a few minutes. It was a photo that conveyed charisma. My husband has tremendous charisma and from that photo, I understood where it came from.




Cher

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Ecumenist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-11-06 03:28 AM
Response to Reply #9
17. I think that it's great to hear from another girl like me...
who never met their MIL in this world but these great ladies made it their goal to meet the brides of their sons and let us know that we're loved and appreciated. I consider myself to be the newset member of a VERY precious club. :pals:
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NJCher Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-11-06 11:44 AM
Response to Reply #17
19. yep
:hug:




Cher
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Grateful for Hope Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-11-06 11:48 AM
Response to Original message
20. Such a wonderful experience!
Thank you so much for sharing this with us!

My son, Jody, just told me this past Thursday, in a very matter-of-fact way, that he is always visited in dreams by those he loves after they die.

But, he has not been visited by my step-father (and, his "grandpa") as yet.

I was so surprised to learn that he has these experiences, and that he takes them so for granted.

I, too, have experienced similar things, but, on the one hand, I know that these experiences are a reality, and, on the other hand, I tend to discount them when I "wake up" to the everyday often harsh reality of life.





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