Request for information/feedback please ..

[Myrina]

Ok folks, I have a really dumb and probably semi-incoherent question.

In reading my (various) horoscope(s), it’s occurred to me more than once that the horoscope seems as though it were written for how my life or a certain aspect of it would be had I chosen different path(s) when standing at that proverbial ‘fork in the road’. For example, my months of September and October were full of stuff about short-distance travel and the evolution of a relationship. None of it is pertinent now, though, because in early September I ended the relationship I was in. Had I not ended the relationship (decision at the fork in the road), I would have been making the short-distance travel because he had accepted a job that relocated him about 2 hours north of me. And, had I not ended the relationship, again due to the distance, I am sure the relationship would have continued to evolve – for better or worse. The horoscope would have been very appropriate.

I guess what I’m wondering is, if horoscopes are based on set moments in time (when we were born), does our exercising of free will at any point along that path invalidate the horoscope? Because if the horoscope is mapped at my birth that “based on alignments at abc-date-and-time Myrina will most likely do X during her life”, but then when I get to the fork in the road, I choose Y instead of X; aren’t I deviating from what’s been “pre-planned” for me?

This isn’t the first time I’ve noticed – in retrospect - that my horoscope almost looks like it was written in anticipation of me making a different decision than ones I’ve ultimately made, and that of course causes me to wonder if I’ve made the right decision(s)?
It's like the Universe still thinks I am involved with him and working on this stuff, when in fact, I pulled that plug a long time ago.

Appreciate anyone’s insights … O8)

[I Have A Dream]

1. Myrina, I'm assuming that you're talking about a Sun sign horoscope.

Is that correct? If so, as you probably already know, they're not very accurate since there are so many other parts to our charts. If it's not just a Sun sign horoscope, is it something special that you've had created for you? Actually, I think that Sun sign horoscopes are almost worthless, but they can be fun if not taken too seriously. :)

I think that it's interesting that you've noticed that pattern. I personally don't feel that it at all means that you've made the wrong decision though. In my opinion, we always have free will. :hug:

[Myrina]

2. Yes, thanks ...

... they're Jonathan Cainer's (generic) Leo horoscopes - he seems to 'get me' alot of the time. Unfortunately, he never contacts me personally and says "Now, Myrina, don't break up with that guy this weekend just because he's being a toad & you're PMS'ing. 3 weeks from now, you'll see that X, Y and Z are going to occur due to the Grand Cross and this, that or the other will transform ..." etc etc ... LOL.


:hug:

[I Have A Dream]

3. Well then, it's all Jonathan's fault!

;)

You'd better E-mail him with your phone number so that he does better next time. Tell him to stop being a slacker! You're a Leo and expect better. :rofl:

Are you regretting the action that you took?

[Myrina]

4. Sometimes yes, but overall ... no.

Hard to explain but I think the part of me that's regretting it is the 'pre-therapy Myrina' who didn't know how to establish a border and stick to it, and when a relationship started to feel scary (i.e. "real") - rather than slow down and talk it through, I'd pick fights & then pray and bargain like hell to get him back, even though it was me who chased him away.

I didn't feel much when we first met but he pursued me relentlessly so that old "better take what you can get because this may be all that comes your way" message kept playing in my 44 year old brain, so I talked myself into liking him. And it turns out that he wasn't serious about me to begin with (depending on who you talk to) or if he was, he's too damaged to act on it (very ambiguous and passive aggressive - couldn't get a straight answer out of him, ever, despite the pursuit. I think he's almost a textbook narcissist).

Ultimately we are more different than alike/compatible. He's alot older than me, very self-absorbed (would talk over me, or let me express myself briefly and then never remember what I told him ... drove me NUTS!) lacking short term-memory due to 40 years of daily pot smoking & use of other chemicals, and (also because of that) not at all motivated to get out and do new things/meet people. That said, I don't think he's intentionally malicious in any of his behaviors, I think he's just incredibly messed up and the drug-use has probably made it worse.

He's almost a very severe example of all the ACOA traits I went into therapy to re-route myself from 4 years ago (self-isolation, ambiguity, inflexibility, to name a few). But, with the ACOA still manifesting itself, I doubt my decision-making abilities. I get buyer's remorse over the smallest things! And the horoscopes showing an almost 'alternative reality' are fueling that doubt.

Does that make any sense?? :silly:

[I Have A Dream]

5. Yes, it all makes sense.

Personally, I don't think that you should at all doubt your decision here. If you were saying that he was a wonderful person, that your relationship was great, and that you missed him (not just missing someone with whom you could do things), then maybe rethinking your decision would be warranted. However, you're not saying any of that.

I currently have the following posted as my Facebook status:

"Associate yourself with people of good quality, for it is better to be alone than in bad company." ~ Booker T. Washington

I'm not saying that he's not a person of good quality, but he's certainly doesn't sound like what you want in your life based upon how you described it. You're trying to heal yourself from past wounds so that you can be healthy (kudos to you for doing the work to get to where you are!), and it seems that your relationship with him hurt that process rather than helped it.

Myrina, you deserve someone who truly loves you and who you truly love. You're a Leo, so you need someone who is into you. There is someone out there for you. You two just need to be ready for each other. By ending your relationship, you have left the space for this to happen. Just keep taking action to continue to get more and more healthy. Then when the right person comes along, you'll be ready for it.

Just my two cents. Please feel free to ignore any or all of it. :crazy:

:hug:

[Myrina]

6. IHAD

... :hug: O8) Thank You. What you said means the world to me. :loveya:

[Tsiyu]

7. As my mom says: "Don't hang out with anyone who

doesn't think you're wonderful."

It drives me away, too, when a partner doesn't hear anything you say to them, and matter-of-factly dismisses what they do happen to hear.


No listening skills. Can't build a relationship on that.


You made the right choice; just transfer the suggestions to other areas of your life or ignore them. YOU decide. :P

[Myrina]

8. :-)

... well, there's that 'decision making thing' again. I'm excellent at making decisions. But I'm even better at second-guessing and regretting them. Something I need to continue to work on.

:hug:

[I Have A Dream]

9. I'm so glad that it helped, Myrina.

Just remember that you deserve to be happy. :D

:pals:

[I Have A Dream]

10. I got this today in an E-mail from Neale Donald Walsch...

(Author of "Conversations with God"):

On this day of your life, dear friend, I believe God wants you to know...

...that you should never be content with so little when you can reach out for something big.

Charles L. Allen asked a question about that, wondering why so many people settle for so little. You do not have to place yourself among them. The world is an abundant place. Abundant with opportunity, abundant with good fortune, abundant with ideas, and abundant with love.

Reach into that abundance and take what is rightfully yours. It is your inheritance, gifted to you by God. Let yourself have it. Do not fail to reach for it for fear that it will not come to you. How can it come to you if you do not reach for it?

Do not be content with so little. Reach, stretch, for something big.

Seems as though it was a message meant for you, so I'm passing it on. :hug:

[Myrina]

11. LOL, that makes me nervous

... my problem has never been fear of failure - I'm quite comfy being a disappointment - it's fear of success & the accompanying expectations. Long, long story that I won't take up ASAH space with.

Strangely, I had 3 separate and random people at work tell me how pretty I look today, a guy at the grocery store smiled at me, and I struck up a conversation with the 20-something hot fratboy across the street while taking out the garbage a little bit ago.

Something is different. Hmmm.