Does anyone else feel like they're in battle?

[OneGrassRoot]

I'm not being overly dramatic...I really, really feel that way. :eyes:

I just went through the most intense relationship confrontation of my entire life, and it was only building for three years.

But they were an intense three years.

That situation was finally done, with no more energy being drained from me as a result of it, as of this morning.

Now, a lifetime relationship battle -- me, the "librul, tree-huggin', do-gooder" versus the Beck/Limbaugh/O'Reilly/Palin, all rolled into one -- may be coming to a head. On FB of all places, with my only sibling. (You know how I mentioned that Beck dissed Wishadoo? She absolutely chooses him...his worldview. Just fyi.)

(FWWM, you are so right about FB!!! :rofl:)

Anyway, it's actually a good thing. I'm all for lancing the boils so things can heal, even if it means detaching and going separate ways.

It's just that I'm drained and haven't had time to recover.

Is anyone else going through SUPER intense relationship drama, but in a way that has the worldviews pitted against one another?

Whew.................

:grouphug:




edit for typo

[Sanity Claws]

1. I've gone through intense relationship stuff over the past three years too

but it didn't come to a head recently as it did with you.

I realized after a while that there was a theme to the relationship problems and it stemmed from family of origin dynamics.

Could something like that be going on with you? Is there a theme to these relationship issues?

[OneGrassRoot]

9. I don't know...

The intense relationship that just ended didn't involve family of origin dynamics in any way that I can see. It was mainly control/manipulation issues, IMHO.

The current battle. Yep, it's all about family of origin dynamics.

:eyes:

:hug:

[Fire Walk With Me]

2. "FWWM, you are so right about FB!!! :rofl:"

Sorry to hear it :hug:

My flatmates at the sober living were haranguing me today, "What about old girlfriends??" So I know that things are hovering about, seeing if they can find a place to land. No landing provided! Go with God, but GO! :hi:

And yes, and I believe Rick has already said, that this is about energies seeking to either re-establish, or for us to seek new ones. Best to you OGR.

[OneGrassRoot]

10. And best to you, FWWM...

:hug:

[FirstLight]

3. me & mom & teen

locked in an epic battle about enabling, fear and responsibility...

my mom did me a huge disservice by being so overprotective in my 18-20 years, as a result i had to run away from home, and live in the gutter for a while just to try and break FREE...i am still trying to put my life back together it seems years later...

now my teen is a total slacker and i am DONE...i want to give him that push out of the nest, because he needs to realize how good he has it...

and my mom is taking his side and telling me not to put him on the street, because "think about where he could end up"

ya, he'll either move in with his girlfriend & her mom, or he'll be on HER doorstep.

but i have really hit the wall and i don't want to be the enabler, he is NOT learning basic survival skills, he plays WOW all day and goes to college part time, no job, no driver's license, and no ambition...

shit, I may have been a wild child, but at least I had PASSION and wanted to LIVE!

wtf?

see my post in the prayer thread for more... i posted in GD this morning about it too...

[OneGrassRoot]

11. That's so darn hard....

I truly hope something eases up on your end, FL. That IS a battle for sure; teens are really a challenge. I PRAY I'm through the worst with mine. :scared:

:hug: :hug :hug:

[seabeyond]

19. i did what you did. interesting. and as i lived in the gutter for a couple years

i also saw, that as so many felt "sorry" for me, i was fine. was my choice. i was looking at them saying WTF... at their compassion. it was part of my journey i needed to understand something i would not have without experiencing.

now.... i dont want my kids to have to experience. cause it was not healthy and i wonder how it will effect health as i age. BUT....

over the journey i have learned not to be the enabler. my kids at 13 and 15 understand, and i have expressed often, i do not take the blame for the errors and mistakes in their life. i have given them the foundation on how to make it in life. i have set the examples. i have nurtured and loved. i have provided a safe environment for them to grow. all they do it theirs. they create. the good, bad and ugly. i wont take the blame for their fuck ups. it is theirs. dont try to give me. BUT... i wont take the kudos and pats on back for their success. that TOO is all theirs.

i have made it clear that they will support self, live their life, make their choices at 18.

i have a brother that feels owed, feels entitled and still at 50, sucking my father dry. he has raised three kids that do the same. my kids have an excellent example of what i am talking about, and what i will not do for these people.

and the arrogance, to assume we need to take another's power and take care of them. i respect the other too much, to make them weak, so i am empowered over them, lol, wink.

i say, allow your son? to be all he can be and dont be a hindrance ot him

[lildreamer316]

4. Yep. I choose love and he's choosing anger.

It's incredibly annoying.

[OneGrassRoot]

5. The battle has engaged....

:grouphug: to you all....

*sighs*

This graphic is helping me maintain focus...on what I choose, and what -- if I must -- fight for.

[Delphinus]

16. Thank you for that graphic.

I truly love it. :hug:

[MorningGlow]

6. In a quiet phase at the moment

The past few years have been very very rough--I'm with FL in choosing the adjective "epic"--but this year has been fairly quiet. No resolution, no forward movement of any sort. And it's frustrating. According to the wonderful tarot reader I visited early this year, it was to be expected. She told me nothing much would happen in 2010 but "everything" would happen in 2011. I'm not sure if I'm excited or terrified (probably both)...but I would like to get out of this deadlock, so...bring it!

[OneGrassRoot]

12. ...

I hope you feel free from your "deadlock" soon, too!

:hug:

[elleng]

7. Battles, yes; worldviews, no.

Family stuff, 3 individuals, 3 different 'matters,' tho related, of course.

Fortunately, best friend is ALL on my side.

Breathe and recover!

[OneGrassRoot]

13. I hear you, girlfriend...

HUGE hugs to you!!!

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[Kookaburra]

8. Battling illness -- nearly everywhere I look

The cats are sick, the BF is sick, the mom and the brother are sick (all with some kind of upper respiratory nastiness -- even the cats).

And this morning I felt the tickle in the back of my throat -- the kind that drinking water won't relieve -- and my eyes started burning and (you guessed it) now I've got it.

Will the mucus never end?

[OneGrassRoot]

14. Oh geez.....

That really does feel like a battle when everyone is feeling sick, even the cats!!!

As soon as I feel the tickle in the throat or any other tell-tale signs, I make garlic soup. A ton of raw garlic in veggie soup stock, with hot sauce.

It's helpful when everyone is sick and eating it, 'cause then everyone reeks together!

:rofl:

Feel better!!!

:hug :hug: :hug:

[Kookaburra]

15. Oh good idea.

My grandmother used to make something similar for me when I would get sick as a child. I think it's how I learned to love the hot sauce.

Anyway, it did open everything up very nicely. Why didn't I think of that when everyone else was getting sick?

Thanks for the reminder OGR.

[mysticalchick]

17. They are all teachers ...

... it seems to me. When I have this kind of thing happen in my life, I look at what I'm being called to do. For example, my evangelical cousin chose a party for a one year old to confront me about using a pendulum and my path. She said "It is not of God!!" and I turned around and seemingly (!) out of nowhere found it inside of me to get up in her face and say "You do NOT want to go there with me. You. Do. Not." I remember thinking "Who is this person speaking?" but it was me. My lesson - I was being called to draw a line in the sand. Little old "live and let live" me was standing up for what I believe in. She later sent me the most scathing letter I've ever gotten in my life and it took me a day to calm down and respond to her with integrity rather than throwing it back in her face (because oh I wanted to!).

Bottom line: this cousin has always been a catalyst for me with many, many things and through my confrontations with her I've learned to clarify what I believe, what I want and how I choose to act when confronted. Doesn't mean I like her (can't stand her, actually) but it does mean I acknowledge her role in my life so far.

And so maybe OGR, you can choose to look at what happened as an enormous growth opportunity for you to stand in your truth (such a woo-woo phrase isn't it?) and get clear about your work. Doesn't mean it's going to be fun. Lessons are not usually a walk in the park, but it does mean that maybe you won't have to take that class again and you can go to a higher level. I dunno. That's just what came pouring through as I read your post.

Wishing you all the best - you know I loves ya!

[OneGrassRoot]

18. Oh, dear mysticalchick, I hear you! :)

I was JUST thinking the same thing! (synchronicity!)

And so maybe OGR, you can choose to look at what happened as an enormous growth opportunity for you to stand in your truth (such a woo-woo phrase isn't it?) and get clear about your work. Doesn't mean it's going to be fun. Lessons are not usually a walk in the park, but it does mean that maybe you won't have to take that class again and you can go to a higher level. I dunno. That's just what came pouring through as I read your post.

I absolutely always try to find the lesson and growth in challenging situations. Absolutely.

With the first "battle" of which I spoke, the lesson was to have a laser focus in standing in my integrity, my truth. And to stay in the moment to really understand what the truth WAS. Be open to re-evaluating it but, above all, stay mindful of it. Man oh man, I walked that like nobody's business in the last three weeks and it was exhausting. Yet I can say in all honesty that I am proud of myself. I didn't "go there." I stayed in my truth and walked the walk, from my perspective, at least.

As for the second one that is currently engaged...lol...yep, I do see it as owning WHO I AM. And it really is very much leading up to this I CHOOSE Campaign I've mentioned trying to get launched.

It has to start with me, if I'm launching this. And I need to know who I AM and the world I CHOOSE very clearly...and how that contrasts with those of opposing worldviews and how I choose to respond to that opposition.

I know I'm rambling, but suffice it to say that, yes, I see the lessons and am learning from them at this very moment and helping define me more. I'll stay open, and keep taking life one minute at a time, but am gaining more clarity about WHO I AM.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

:loveya:

[seabeyond]

20. this is what i have found. i have never had an issue with speaking out

but was more for sake of expressing, put out there, and allow to be what it is.

now, i have found the need to draw line. not for any particular reason but to stop unhealthy "norms" of progression that i am seeing.

has been interesting. and makes me wonder.

i have been out of the spiritual for a while, for reasons.... but here the last couple days, i have been drawn back. i am looking ot see what is up. and it is feeling like it has to do with this. so this thread, though i see so much in it, wondering exactly what is up, per what has been the last couple years.....

just sittin in it, and feeling it, lol lol. not sure what exactly this is about.

[Ricochet21]

21. All since Pluto entered Capricorn

1/25/08, I know, I sound like a broken record, but that's the "symbol" It's all cleansing; tis not easy; but it's all cleansing. Good luck

[Ricochet21]

22. I'm trying to get this vision together for November's newsletter

Neptune on the USA's Moon in Aquarius. We have been stripped down and are being stripped down to what we really are. Spiritually speaking... really.

What this means, I think, is those holding the Bible to keep from drowning instead of using their own hearts and minds are going down fast. Why? Not because "we're" against Jesus, exactly the opposite is true. It's those who REALLY follow what he intended and said vs. those who belong to the "I'm in the right club, and you aren't" mindset.

We, collectively speaking, are seekers of TRUTH. And in that truth lies Jesus amongst many other prophets and God-seekers. Those blind souls who are to afraid to vibrate one centimeter away from the "Good Book" are losing it because their perception of the rules just isn't true, isn't real, and therefore is not supported by "God" or nature.

That's the war. It's NOT YOU they are objecting to. Don't take it personally. Their world (which never was real) is falling apart because we are what we are.

Neptune makes you naked as you stand before "your God." It's that simple. There is nO JUDGEMENT involved. You are what you are - that's enough judgement in and of itself.

That's my take on it.

In my humble opinion, those chiming in here are right on track.... yea,... keep at it. :hi:

[seabeyond]

23. interesting

a little shift in what youa re saying, .... i agree. those with the bible, they hold the bible but are not living it thru the heart, and that is the nakedness, the spirit of who we are. they hold the bible, which is seperate, the outside world, opposed to the within. using as a crutch (though i like better how you describe it) and not progressing to bring the outside lesson, within.

but i was seeing this way back in 2003. in the spring of 2003 or '04, with the movie passion coming out. actually i think that was 04, but was in 2003 where i started seeing the real build up of anger ect... in christ name.

i saw what you spoke of and thought further in, it would be clear,.... but seems to have gotten progressively worse.

so you are saying now... there is a hittin bottom or whatever

[seabeyond]

24. a step further

and i generally take three posts, lol....

i saw the progression from the 3d world to the 4d, for mass. and it stopped, in tracks and firmly put themselves in the 3d. like they chose to stay in 3d and not make the progression over. in collective conscious.

[Fire Walk With Me]

26. Karen Bishop wrote on that, that there was surprise in the spirit realm regarding

the number of earthlings who chose to continue on Earth but to not make the shift to the new energies. It's not going to be pretty :(

And regarding those already on a spiritual path but perhaps not one optimal; the passing of time and the upward shifting of energies will indeed cause us all to consider our focus...I wonder after the Mormons, who do seek God, but who also firmly and actively decry homosexuality. Will it be possible to retain such exclusion in the total realm of love? I note that the higher power(s) in the 12-Step programs do not exclude homosexuals (nor seemingly does the work "cure" anyone of whom I'm aware of said sexual preference). God is perhaps larger than all of our considerations of God.

I'm also finding that praying for God's will to be done is in general, a good way to keep on track and of a high vibration...this will likely continue to be true ;)

[seabeyond]

27. in the inclusiveness of collective, there can be no exclusion. all in one

so if anyone works on the premise of exclusion, they have not made it thru 4d. from what i see, that is the process, journey of 4d, .... getting beyond any exclusion, and feeling the one that we are all, in 5d. crossing the bridge.

on edit... maybe i ought to check out the karen, person you were talking about. thanks.

[OneGrassRoot]

40. FYI...Karen Bishop

She quit posting in the last few months, I believe. I followed her for years at "whatsuponplanetearth," now http://www.emergingearthangels.com/

:hi:

[OneGrassRoot]

28. :)

:hi:

:hug:

[Fire Walk With Me]

30. You've been too quiet lately; I look forward to your November newsletter!

[Ricochet21]

31. Thanks FWWM

I've been trying to get other issues straigthened out. The Neptune Moon issue is going to be hard because Neptune is the hardest to describe. But, it's having a huge effect.

[Fire Walk With Me]

41. If it helps, if it is what others are experiencing, I offer what's going on with me

for the last few days.

I can see myself. Please notes that normally, this is impossible for me. I have an enormous blind spot, and it is in regard to knowing my own energy, my own path, my own self. This is why change is often very difficult for me, and why I can sometimes continue in destructive behaviour which others can immediately note, but to me are completely hidden (until something breaks and I as a result gain perspective).

I am being given perspective and insight; I am able to see myself in a sort of blue/purple spotlight. I am able to choose to release things I do not wish to have as a part of myself. I am able to choose a different path for things that have confused me and caused suffering my entire life.

The major issues I have are not quite visible, but they are palpable, and are -here- regardless, for me to choose...and the people who don't like me are going even more destructively batshit, instead of owning the reason they're doing so...which is their own fear. Time for me to deal with my stuff, and time for you to deal with yours. Ahem, not by projecting it upon me. Peace.

Rick, this is probably just a sliver of what is currently occuring, but did you say that Neptune is involved, and that this beautiful planet/consciousness represents and manifests God's will? It would then seemingly be that God's will is for us to see, reflect, and release that which does not serve us, and as Karen Bishop said, to simplify (as complexity would be directly manifested by the new energy, and that's really not what we'll want). Okay, tangential, I'm not a wordsmith.

Peace :hi:

[northernlights]

25. the only relationship transformations for me so far have been mostly good

My abusive mother died and I felt a bit of fear that still was gripping my deepest innards dissipate.

I learned that my middle sister pretty much took over where my mother left off in poor mouthing me with lies to the rest of the family.

I got my eldest sister, who is a "reagan country-club republican" back after nearly 30 years. We simply don't discuss politics. If she tries to go there, I veer away. And when we almost got into it over health care, I took a deep breath and explained to her that the current system works fine *if* you have a husband with extensive experience and expertise in high level contract negotiation to go to bat for you. But if you are on your own, you can't fight the insurance company and the disease both. Having just finished chemo...the light turned on. And we came to agreement -- the whole health care system is FUBAR, no matter how you slice it. :D

I'm waiting for the other abusive parent to leave so I can breathe a little deeper and easier. And for potential confrontation with lawyer/exjudge/exasstda sister.

Other than that, no big relationship changes :)

[OneGrassRoot]

29. I'm glad the transformations have been mostly good...

It's about time. :)

:hug:

[northernlights]

34. where I do feel I'm in a battle

although battle is not the right word. Just overwhelmed in the development of the new career.

Overwhelmed by the vast amount of information, the short time to absorb it in. And not just spit it out, but apply it. The courses are not taught by professional educators, they're taught by practitioners. The microbiology instructor veered off the program set by the program directors. She has no concept of what a nightmare she's created. Her information contradicts the book in key spots. I've found multiple quiz questions she marked as wrong where I can site page and table or paragraph that say I'm right. So it's an added task because I need every point I can get given her very harsh testing and grading. She gives overly complex homework assignments that suck up hours of time only to not find a clear answer. We're not doctors and we don't have nearly the training of doctors....for example, the 1 semester anatomy class we took most MLT programs teach in 2 semesters and doctors will spend a couple years covering...yet instead of giving us problems that have reasonably clear answers, that none of the possibilities in the book match. Are we supposed to spend additional hours and hours on the internet searching for a bacteria that may or may not fit the profile (because as often as not *she's* made a mistake). And then there are the online quizes, which she has set up in the worst possible way for those of us who have dialup. The software they use is outdated, shitty design on top of old, old, old software. Instead of putting all the questions on a single page (because then, god forbid, we might be able to change an answer while still in the quiz) each question is on a separate page. This ensures we can't go back and correct a wrong answer in the middle of taking the quiz. It also ensures each question can take 15 minutes to download. It takes hours then to take each quiz, and allows plenty of time for the system to timeout and drop us. Then *she* gets annoyed when we get locked out of the quiz, which is set for one sitting to take it or lose it. One guy got locked out of a quiz 3 times as of yesterday. And then there are the questions that refer to the answer from the previous question...which we can no longer see and which we answered 15-20 minutes ago. Like we sat there for 15-20 minutes waiting for the question to download and doing nothing because we have so much time on our hands, so of course we remember what the question and answer were 20 minutes ago. :eyes:

I have avoided completing evaluations up until now. I was happy with the instructors and had better things to do with my time. I cannot wait to complete this evaluation. I can be every bit as harsh, petty, nit-picky and bitchy as this instructor is turning out to be.

It's beyond frustrating. If they had let me take micro last year as I requested, I would have dropped out of the program and that would frankly have been a good thing. Because I'm really learning to hate, hate, hate it.

[OneGrassRoot]

36. To me, you are the epitome of patience and persistence...

:hug:

I continue to hope things become more effortless, as a result of all the hard work invested over the years...similar to your magickal summer.

:)

[Ricochet21]

32. Once again, the Pluto transition is not good or bad

We keep thinking in those terms. It removes blockages from growth. That's what it does. It's how we go along with it that results in our opinion of it being good or bad. I'm glad things are well for you! Very good.

[OneGrassRoot]

33. Just read something that resonates...

Nothing new, we know it and we've heard it many times before, but I'm sharing nonetheless...

As we move towards the end of October old wounds and hurt feelings will be released and cleared. In this time we are urged to seek self-knowledge regarding our emotional and psychological life. It is our needs that reflect our wounds and as we heal those wounds we shall discover that we no longer require others to find fulfillment. This learning will bring self-empowerment and an inner security which will allow us to full express our powerful emotions without fear of rejection or punishment.

Venus retrograde will support us in remembering that we are all a part of this world and that we can move through these times of challenge if we join together rather than pull apart. We have all come into this life with past life experiences of pain, domination, inequality and disillusionment in love. We are required to release these old memories and thus birth a new vision of love, peace and harmony.

As we stand at this junction in our human history we are required to take time to integrate our experiences, to let go of that which we have outgrown and discover a deeper understanding of who we are and what we as a human race require for survival. This Full Moon will offer us all an important opportunity to do the appropriate thing if we truly understand that we are all comrades on this journey called life.

http://spiritpathwaysfoundation.com/

:hi:

[Dulcinea]

35. All the time.

I have been out of work for nearly two years. It's a battle to keep trying, and it's a daily battle to try to remain positive. And it's a battle to try to get myself admitted to graduate school in my middle age. I feel like I'm on humanity's recycle pile.

[OneGrassRoot]

37. Getting through each day can feel like a battle...

just to get through it. I hear you, Dulcinea.

As I just wrote NL, I sure hope -- and continue to pray for and envision -- that life becomes more effortless for those of us who have invested so much time and energy over the years...the decades...working so hard.

I can only imagine how frustrating and exhausting it is for you. :hug:

On days when we don't have the energy to be positive, I trust others are holding the light for us. And we'll do the same for them.

:hug:

:grouphug:

[Celebration]

38. As above, so below

Right now I am AOK, but I feel that conflict is endemic to our entire earth plane existence. If that weren't ultimately part of the process, why would all animals be set up to feed off other species (whether plant or animal), just to live?

This struggle for power has its roots in our very existence. It can get pretty draining.

Unfortunately, there are a bunch of energy vampires out there that feed off conflict as well. It often does not make for a pretty picture.

[OneGrassRoot]

39. That's such an interesting point....

Survival right now depends upon "feeding" off of other species.

Hopefully part of the next evolutionary shift is an awakening to (and creation of) unlimited energy resources.

Of course, we have to get beyond current thinking and understanding to do that...we have to see "energy" in an entirely different way, a way in which most humans aren't equipped to consider just yet.

The sci-fi shows provide great examples of this.

:hug:

[PhillyGurl]

42. Why yes, with myself...

ah the irony. The universe has challenged me to see how small and insignificant I can get. It is at times horrifying, interesting and growth-provoking. Rick was right, this has been coming on since 2008. I feel like everything has been stripped from me, in one way or another -- I have been given some interesting things to ponder in my life, that's for sure. But each day I get up to 'fight' another day, and become smarter, more streamlined and a more humble person. My word that I am meditating upon is "give."