pet advice needed

[yellowdawgdem]

I have a situation (with cats) that is requiring me to make a decision quickly on whether to keep a kitten, or give it to an adoption agency. I got the kitten a few weeks ago, with the momma cat, and I was letting them live under my bed until I could get a spay appointment for both of them. However, I have 2 cats of my own, and both of them were displeased about the guests. I let the momma cat go out one day when I had visitors, thinking that she would not want to leave the babe, and would come back. However, she took off, and I am now having a hard time trying to catch her again. The kitten stuck around, and put up with some hissing and territorial issues. My two cats pretty much had figured all that stuff out between them, with one staying mostly outside, but coming in at night, and for food- and she also had lots of friends in the neighborhood whom she visited- both human and feline. She stopped coming home because of the kitten, or would stop by, and then run out when she saw the kitten. I think that maybe she wasn't getting enough sleep. On friday morning, she was hit by a car and killed, and a neighbor left me a note. I wasn't able to locate her body, wanted to give her a full burial. Anyway, I have been in grief since then, thinking about her, missing her, hoping she wasn't in too much pain at the time. And feeling a little guilty, that maybe my trying to help the kitten stressed her, and made her less alert. At the same time, there is this kitten, and my other cat is always hissing at her, and not letting her on the bed, and getting upset when I give her attention. So I am just not sure what to do, and wondered if anybody else has had a similar situation, or could venture an opinion. thanx!

[ET Awful]

1. Wow . . . . tough one.

I would probably keep the baby around a while longer to see if the other two calm down. I 'd be hesitant to give it up until I'd tried everything.

Poor mama kitty :(.

Maybe try keeping the kitten in a room by itself (with a door to keep the other two out) and let them get used to each other under the door. It may take a while, but it's worth a shot.

I'm sorry to hear about mama though :(.

[City Lights]

3. I agree with ET Awful on putting the kitten in a separate room.

One other thing that I've heard helps, although I don't have any first-hand results to share, is putting a towel or small blanket with the kitten, and another with the other two. Once the cats have put their respective scents on the towel/blanket, do a towel/blanket exchange. Doing this is supposed to allow the cats to get used to each other's scents without actually encountering each other face-to-face.

So sorry to hear about the mommy. :cry:

Good luck with your predicament!

[Eloriel]

2. Don't blame yourself, that's the first thing

How long have you had the baby?

I am currently fostering a kitten who had issues with my own adult male cat, but between them they're coming to some comity. This happened once before as well. My Hunter was at first SCARED, then wanted to make friends, but the kitten did NOT. Eventually, however, she came around and they had a gay old time playing. (I was SO proud of Hunter for being such a good foster dad, or whatever.) They even got so the kitten would snuggle up to Hunter for naps and stuff. He really missed her when I found a home for her. He's showing the same "I'll accept your terms" attitude about this one. I have no doubt they'll be playing sometime in the near future too.

Unfortunately, I don't think this kind of thing is universally true. Your cat may NEVER welcome the kitten. I don't know, but just wanted to share that there are times when it happens. It took probably 2 weeks or possibly a little more with the first kitten. This time we've had her so far about a week. She used to hiss at him (and scare him off!), but is getting friendlier.

[yellowdawgdem]

4. not the momma cat

It was not the momma cat who was hit by the car, but my own cat, Little Gray. I live at an apt complex where everyone has a gigantic patio, and the momma cat ran back to the patio where she'd had the kittens. The guy who lives there is still trying to catch her, and we've recently put her food into a large dog carrier, hoping to catch her that way. What upset me so much was that my Little Gray had been feeling pushed out of her territory for two weeks, and was possibly stressed. And I hadn't done all that much to help. I am way bummed out.
My other cat is a nasty bitch, and a territory hog. I love her anyway, but don't expect that she will bond with the kitten. If she does, it will involve the kitten obeying her, and worshipping at her feet, lol! But, to answer the question, I've had the kitten for around two weeks. There is a really nice older male cat next door who tries to hang out with the kitten. He might be a little like your Hunter, Eloriel, though maybe older. It's cool when older cats are receptive to the babes. In all, I do see this more as a foster situation, plus it is too soon for me to deal with another cat. The suggestion about the towel is a good one, I'm gonna try that. And, I guess I'll keep my fingers crossed!

[ET Awful]

5. Poor Little Gray :(

:hug: I'm sorry to hear it :(

[yellowdawgdem]

6. Yeah

Me, too. She was only 2 years old, and the whole neighborhood loved her. It was really upsetting. thanks for your response, I guess these things do happen, and it was completely unexpected.