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eridani Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-08-05 07:30 AM
Original message
Kitty haiku
You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will show you.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail! Behold,
elevator butt.

I need a new toy.
Tail of black dog keeps good time.
Pounce! good dog! good dog!

The rule for today.
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

In deep sleep hear sound
Cat vomit hairball somewhere.
Will find in morning.

Grace personified
I leap into the window
I meant to do that

Blur of motion, then-
Silence, me, a paper bag
What is so funny?

The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds
Your foot just squashed one.

You're always typing
Well, let's see you ignore my
Sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box
You cannot see me if I
Can just hide my head.

Terrible battle
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a "term paper"?

Kitty likes plastic
Confuses for litter box
Don't leave tarp around

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
Fear vacuum cleaner

Want to trim my claws?
Don't even think about it!
My yelps will wake the dead

I want to be close
To you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside.
Oh, no! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! My Big One
has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in the bed, then screams!
My claws aren't that sharp....

Cats meow out of angst
"Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much"

Litter box not there
You must have moved it again
I'll crap in the sink

The Big Ones snore now
Every room is dark and cold
time for "Cup Hockey"

We're almost equals
I purr to show I love you
Want to smell my butt?

Rip! Tear! Shred! Destroy!
Oh no! Mommie's home! Look mom...
Bad dogs! Very bad dogs!

I puff up my tail
at the cat in the bathroom.
What is a mirror?

I only want you
To pay attention to me...
when I want you to

A small Mraw gets your
attention, I have chosen
you to be my slave.



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graywarrior Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-08-05 11:46 PM
Response to Original message
1. Another Kitty Haiku
The Cat Haiku

The food in my bowl
Is old, and more to the point
Contains no tuna.

So you want to play.
Will I claw at dancing string?
Your ankles closer.

Theres no dignity
In being sick, which is why
I dont tell you where.

Seeking solitude
I am locked in the closet
For once I need you.

Tiny can, dumped in
Plastic bowl. Presentation,
One star; service: none.

Am I in your way?
You seem to have it backwards:
This pillows taken.

Your mouth is moving;
Up and down, emitting noise.
Ive lost interest.

The dog wags his tail,
Seeking approval. See mine?
Different message.

My brain: walnut-sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work?

Most problems can be
Ignored. The more difficult
Ones can be slept through.

My affection is conditional.
Dont stand up,
Its your lap I love.

Cats cant steal the breath
Of children. But if my tails
Pulled again, Ill learn.

I dont mind being
Teased, any more than you mind
A skin graft or two.

So you call this thing
Your cat carrier. I call
These my blades of death.

Toy mice, dancing yarn
Meowing sounds. Im convinced:
Youre an idiot.
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Orsino Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-09-05 08:53 PM
Response to Original message
2. Another...
Bow to me, human.
When I reach that face, your nose
Is history, see?
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