Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

If famous writers wrote cookbooks...

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
Home » Discuss » DU Groups » Home & Family » Cooking & Baking Group Donate to DU
 
Lucinda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-01-11 01:50 PM
Original message
If famous writers wrote cookbooks...
Reader, I marinated it
What if Virginia Woolf, Geoffrey Chaucer or Raymond Chandler had turned their talents to food writing? Mark Crick imagines the contents of the celebrity cookbooks of yesteryear
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/...
OTHERS AT LINK ABOVE


Lamb with Dill Sauce
la Raymond Chandler

1kg lean leg of lamb, cut into large chunks

1 onion, sliced

1 carrot, cut into sticks

1 tablespoon crushed dill seeds, or 3-4 sprigs fresh dill

1 bay leaf

12 peppercorns

Half a teaspoon salt

850ml chicken stock

50g butter

1 tablespoon plain flour

1 egg yolk

3 tablespoons cream

2 teaspoons lemon juice

I sipped on my whiskey sour, ground out my cigarette on the chopping board and watched a bug trying to crawl out of the basin. I needed a table at Maxim's, a hundred bucks and a gorgeous blonde; what I had was a leg of lamb and no clues. I took hold of the joint. It felt cold and damp, like a coroner's handshake. I took out a knife and cut the lamb into pieces. Feeling the blade in my hand I sliced an onion, and before I knew what I was doing a carrot lay in pieces on the slab. None of them moved. I threw the lot into a pan with a bunch of dill stalks, a bay leaf, a handful of peppercorns and a pinch of salt. They had it coming to them, so I covered them with chicken stock and turned up the heat. I wanted them to boil slowly, just about as slowly as anything can boil. An hour and a half and a half-pint of bourbon later they weren't so tough and neither was I. I separated the meat from the vegetables and covered it. The knife was still in my hand but I couldn't hear any sirens.

In this town the grease always rises to the top, so I strained the juice and skimmed off the fat. I added more water and put it back on the heat. It was time to deal with the butter and flour, so I mixed them together into a paste and added it to the stock. There wasn't a whisk, so using my blackjack I beat out any lumps until the paste was smooth. It started to boil, so I let it simmer.

I roughed up the egg yolk and cream and mixed in some of the hot sauce before putting the lot back into the pan. I put the squeeze on a lemon and it soon juiced. It was easy. It was much too easy, but I knew if I let the sauce boil the yolk was gonna scramble.

By now I was ready to pour the sauce over the meat and serve, but I wasn't hungry. The blonde hadn't showed. She was smarter than I thought. I went outside to poison myself, with cigarettes and whisky.
Refresh | 0 Recommendations Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
Denninmi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-01-11 02:53 PM
Response to Original message
1. Cute.
Sure would beat that staple of the $1 table at any bookstore, "Jeffrey Dahmer's 'Cooking With Friends'" :o

:rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
Lucinda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-01-11 05:44 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. LOL
I don't know if i should laugh or groan. :P
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Thu Oct 02nd 2014, 06:12 AM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » DU Groups » Home & Family » Cooking & Baking Group Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC