Do any of you live with a non-vegetarian?

[Bouncy Ball]

My daughter and I have gone vegetarian but my husband has not and probably won't.

I do the food preparation around here. (He does a lot of other stuff.) On the one hand, it's probably not fair for him to eat a vegetarian diet when he doesn't want to, but on the other hand, I don't feel it's fair for me to purchase and prepare meat when I am ethically opposed to it.

What to do???? Anyone dealt with this before? Should he just buy whatever meat he wants to eat and prepare it himself? I wonder how I will handle dinner, when all three of us usually eat the same thing?

[Warpy]

1. Let him have a Saturday ritual at the grill

which will keep the meat smell outside, at least. My guess is that he won't object too much to the change in diet the rest of the week as long as it is served to him and he doesn't have to cook it.

Cooking his own steak on the grill will allow him to do the manly thing if he wants to while you supply all the sides.

[Catchawave]

2. To tell you the truth Bouncy,

I support the veg lifestyle 150%, though I fall off the wagon due to addictive craving for MEAT. As always, hate myself in the morning too!

I hope you've found a good support system here, because it's not as easy as it sounds.

I also don't believe you should try to change anyone else's lifestyle choices. Just my opinion, I could be wrong! Ya'know, just make dinner and don't eat the dead flesh parts may be a good beginning for you!

Personally, I don't do the fake meat stuff, just lots of veggies and my normal daily Centrum Silver supplement.

[Merope215]

3. I think Warpy's idea is a good one

and at least in my experience, most meat-eaters don't object to not eating meat, as long as they can still get it when they go out to eat and such.

My own feelings on meat is that I won't buy it and I won't prepare it (buying it for someone else supports the whole sorry business, which is the main reason most people decide to withdraw themselves from that particular economic chain anyway), but I don't care if someone else buys it and cooks it.

Also, your husband may come around, you never know. My SO has definitely been eating less meat since we've been together (only a little over a year), and I think he kind of feels guilty about eating it in front of me now.

My suggestion would be to tell him that you don't feel comfortable buying or cooking meat anymore and suggest that if he really feels that he wants to eat it, he should make it himself. The grilling is a good idea, but there are plenty of other things he can do to include meat in a vegetarian diet, if he feels the need to do so. If you make stir-fry, for example, he can make chicken (or whatever) in a separate pan and add it to his portion at the end. Same deal with some soups, or adding grilled chicken breast to the top of the salad. I guess I'm thinking of ways I make my parents' meaty dishes vegetarian, only in reverse. :P

Good luck!

[flvegan]

4. I'm going to sound like SUCH a snob.

Not only is my roomie a vegan as well, but I simply couldn't live with a non-vegetarian. The dairy and eggs, I'd deal with. I know how hard that is (like living with a smoker, but asking that they smoke outside).

I just couldn't, in good conscience, attempt to have another person around that I KNOW I'd ultimately make feel bad, guilty or self-conscious. It's not fair to me nor that other person. That's just me, though. I have great respect for couples/families that make it work otherwise.

[Bouncy Ball]

5. I just talked to him and we're going to try to make it work.

I already wasn't a big meat eater to begin with, so he wasn't either (since I prepare the meals). So he doesn't think it would be that big of a stretch to eat vegetarian dinners three to five days out of the week. What he eats for lunch while he's at work, I don't care. He doesn't eat breakfast.

So I think it'll be ok. Tonight, for instance, we are having baked potatoes with steamed broccoli and I am using some canned chili I still have to pour on his baked potato. He will have his broccoli on the side and I'll get to use up a can of chili I would have had to throw away.

We'll just tackle this one day at a time, LOL! I really do feel good, though. Eating meat made me feel.....weighed down..... I can't describe it better than that.

[flvegan]

7. Weighed down.

The best description one can give, as it really does feel that way (eating meat/having it in your system).

I'm sure that you'll work it out. Who knows, maybe he'll really enjoy the veg meals and embrace it as so many others have (especially when he feels 10 years younger, 20 pounds lighter and more...um, forthcoming in the, uh, bedroom, so to speak). Not that there are any problems with anyone as it is now, but I've spoken with many that have noted marked improvements. That's all I'm saying.

[AlienGirl]

6. Yes...

I cook my food, and Xen can buy and prepare meat and put it in his portion if he wants. I can't cook meat (never learned) so he has to do it if he wants meat at home.

As a result, about the only meat he eats anymore is when we go out or in microwave food; but most of my meals are good enough that he doesn't feel deprived.

Tucker

[LeftyMom]

8. LeftyDad eats meat

Our mutual agreement was originally that we'd eat vegan at home, and he could have whatever he wanted when we go out. We've since modified that and he sometimes gets deli meat and cheese for sandwiches. The rule now stands as "please don't smell up the house with meat or eggs, don't get meat on my pans and keep any dairy products away from LK."

I don't think it's unfair to prepare what you want, and ask him to make any modifications (such as adding ground beef to spaghetti sauce or throwing some ham slices on a salad) himself.

[Coventina]

9. My husband is a carnivore, but pretty understanding.

Our particular compromise is that if he wants meat, he has to cook it himself.

I'll buy it at the grocery store (yuk! But it's my part of the compromise) but he has to cook it.

When we go out, do take out, delivery etc. he gets whatever he wants. I don't try to control him in that way.

It's a system that works pretty well for us.

[Maru Kitteh]

10. It will probably cause a bit of conflict but he should respect your

ethics and not expect you to buy, handle and cook somthing that makes you sick and violates those ethics. You can prepare lots of meals that don't require meat so that he can just cook and add it if he would like. I would suggest things like spagetti, tacos, stir-fries.

It's not fair for anyone to expect you to continue handling the dead flesh of animals for their sake when it is morally repugnant to you. I wish you very well, maybe in time as you experience the benifits of vegetarianism he will take more interest in it himself.

Try telling him about famous vegetarains like Clint Eastwood, Tony LaRussa, Stan Price (world record bench press), Steve Martin, Peter Brock, Milton Berle, Henry Ford, Albert Einstien, OutKast.......

There's a whole big long list here.........

http://www.famousveggie.com/peoplenew.cfm?&VEG=1&ORD=L

[Cobalt Violet]

11. I live with 3 meat eaters.

Two are cats and are cute enough to get away with it.


But for the human:
I deal with it by refusing to buy it, cook it, clean up after it. I use all separate pots, pans, and storage containers. If he uses one of mine, I will never use it again. We have separate cabinets.

I open all windows and turn on all exhaust fans when it is been cooked.

[curse10]

12. My boyfriend and our roommate both eat meat

I give them shit about it, constantly

[Bouncy Ball]

13. Nevermind! He decided tonight, after eating

my vegetarian dinners for nine days, that he is going to do it, too.

He is especially interested in the health benefits of vegetarianism. And he admitted he half-thought he'd be hungry all the time if he were veg, but the dinners I have made have left him VERY satisfied, they were delicious and he admitted he hasn't missed meat at all (I didn't know it but he hasn't even been eating meat at work during the day).

So yay!!!!