Gay Elders' Distinctive Challenges Get Closer Look

[DeSwiss]

Gay elders' distinctive challenges get closer look

By DAVID CRARY, AP National Writer
Sat Oct 4, 12:48 PM ET


SAGE (Services and Advocacy for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual &
Transgender Elders) volunteer Gigi Stoll, right, helps Frank
Carter straighten out a wheel chair order during her weekly
visit, Thursday, Sept. 18, 2008 in New York.


NEW YORK - Frank Carter was once a globe-trotting professional dancer; his world is smaller now. He battles multiple health problems, walks with a cane and rarely leaves his compact Manhattan apartment. As an 86-year-old gay man, with no family nearby and many acquaintances long since dead, he'd seem a likely prospect for isolation. Instead, he has kindled a deep, five-year friendship with Gigi Stoll, a fashion model-turned-photographer half his age. Stoll helps Carter with medical arrangements, writes to him when she travels overseas, and sat with him for six hours during his most recent hospitalization.

"The other guys in the hospital, no one was coming in to see them," Carter said. "To get that gift, you have to be lucky." It's not just luck. Stoll came into his life though a program that matches infirm gays and lesbians with volunteers who commit to making weekly visits. Long overlooked by society at large, and even by younger gays, elderly gays and lesbians are emerging as distinct community, getting more help and attention as they confront challenges that differ in many ways from their heterosexual counterparts.

Advocacy groups say the estimated 2.5 million gay seniors in America are twice as likely to live alone, four times less likely to have adult children to help them, and far more fearful of discrimination from health care workers. Many fear anti-gay animosity or bias at senior centers, in nursing homes and from health care providers. Some gay elders even keep their sexual orientation secret from the home health aides who may provide their only sustained company.

A watershed moment comes this month, when the AARP — the largest advocacy group for Americans over 50 — for the first time sponsors a major national conference focused on gay and lesbian aging. It's being organized by SAGE (Service and Advocacy for GLBT Elders), the New York-based organization which counts Carter and Stoll among its thousands of clients and volunteers. AARP's involvement is "a big breakthrough," SAGE executive director Michael Adams said. "To step forward and sponsor a conference of this high profile and splash your name all over, it's a quantum leap."

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081004/ap_on_re_us/gay_elders">MORE

- Right after my 50th birthday, I resented the fact that the AARP had the audacity to send me a brochure. I figured that they were jumping the gun by about 15 years. But the closer I get to the "magic number" the more tempted I am to actually open one of those mailings up and read it.

Now that the AARP has come out in support of gays, my resentment level just fell quite a ways....
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DeSwiss


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"Prayer is just a way of telling god that his divine plan for
you is flawed -- and shockingly stingy" ~ Betty Bowers

[Lost River Ledger]

1. Quite the opposite.......

I embraced mine! AARP didn’t blink when I asked if my under 50 (same sex) partner could enjoy the benefits (Yes, he can!). If one has not caught on that our culture (both gay and straight) is youth obsessed, then one is blind. This being said, it’s never too late to cultivate a circle of friends both young and old. I have students I have not seen in years, but they still contact me for advice and everyday brings an opportunity for me to bring people into my life at face value and without preconditions. There are plenty of “old souls” in young bodies who don’t think that every “old geezer” wants “the love that dare not speak its name.”