Homophobia

[porcelain_doll]

A friend of mine said something on this the other day and I wanted to get your opinions.

Okay, say someone comes up to this lesbian couple, or bisexual person and asks them if they are interested in a three way. Simply because of their sexuality, and they figure they'll be "all for it".

My friend said some people consider this Homophobia. What do you think?

[Skittles]

1. I believe it is

part of homophobia is defining people completely by their sex lives or their PERCEIVED sexual tastes - absolutely

[JackBeck]

2. Why was a male couple left out of this scenario?

I ask because it brings up a few more questions.

[porcelain_doll]

3. I'm sorry.

I was just refering to what my friend say, but yes, a male couple could be exampled. Sorry. ^__^

[JackBeck]

4. What's odd for me is the assumption that a committed lesbian couple

would be more approachable, to your friend, than another gay couple that is two men.

Yeah. You're friend is a bigot.

[porcelain_doll]

5. That was not what she meant..

She was just telling me of her own experiences.

[porcelain_doll]

7. Notice I did say bisexual...

But my friend is not a bigot. :(
I'm sorry you misunderstood.

[JackBeck]

9. If you wanted a more specific response

one would think you would have been a bit more specific than "bisexual person".

[porcelain_doll]

10. Yeah.

I see that. :(

[The Magistrate]

6. It Is Certainly An Exercise In Stereotyping, Ma'am

Based on a definition of homosexuality that views as it simply a sexual appetite, and further, an all-consuming and indiscriminant one, quite different from 'normal' people's....

[greenvpi]

8. Uncouth and rude, but definitely not homophobia!

.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

18. really? why not?

[greenvpi]

27. -phobia means fear or dislike.

It doesn't sound like the person in question either fears or dislikes the same sex couple if he wants to participate. You could claim that the person's ignorance is the same sort that creates homophobes, but the results are different.

[BlooInBloo]

11. My unsolicited $.02: It may or may not be...

I'm thinking it's sorta like guys who have a "thing" for asian girls. It may or may not be racist, depending on things like the reason for their preference, whether or not the preference is exclusive of all other types of girls, etc.

If, on the one hand, a person simply likes asian-ish looks, and doesn't associate anything in particular about personality, etc. with "being asian", then it's plausible that the preference has the same innocuous standing as a person who likes blondes or italians or something.

If, on the other hand the reason for one's asian preference is that one has a truckload of assumptions, derogatory and/or diminutive, then it's plausible that there's a racist component to the preference.

Either way, a person could be crude about their preference.


Similarly for your example, I'm thinking. It might be a crude-but-innocuous attraction, or it might be a crude-and-gayist thing. Without knowing more, you couldn't say for certain without more information.


(straight guy who like asians, blondes, and italians exiting stage left)

[porcelain_doll]

12. Good point.

[LostinVA]

13. Homophobic/idiotic definitely -- however, I really don't think that's what this thread is about

Something smells.

[porcelain_doll]

14. I'm afraid I don't know what you mean.

[Zuiderelle]

15. I find questions like this here in the GLBT forum, as insulting as being propositioned for a 3-way.

[Iggo]

16. Damn!

Best answer yet.

[LostinVA]

19. It is, however, less annoying than, let's say

Posting threads with no subject line and a random drag queen in the body.

[Zuiderelle]

20. Relatively speaking, yes, you are correct. It's slightly less annoying.

And neither is very clever.

[Midlodemocrat]

23. But astonishingly stupid and immature.

[lightningandsnow]

24. That's not a random drag queen...that's Jeffree Star!

[Midlodemocrat]

22. Me, too. It pisses me off.

:grr:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

17. what do you think?

[kdpeters]

21. I consider it heterosexism but not homophobia.

[Toasterlad]

25. Me Too, But It's a Fine Line, Here.

If someone believes that a gay couple would be "all for" a three-way just because they're gay, that's probably not the only unhealthy generalization rolling around in the their tiny noggin.

[jumptheshadow]

26. It's insulting

and the person is rude and not worth your time.

When I first moved to NYC in the mid 70s, there was a taxi driver who used to wait outside the lesbian bars. When you got into his cab, he tried to recruit you into prostitution. "You can make easy money. There's a goldmine between your legs. Etc., etc." It was a degrading experience. Although your example is not as extreme, it's on the same continuum of disrespect.

[papapi]

28. I don't think we have enough data to make an informed decision....

....about the -phobic aspect of this situation. If these people were at a swingers party that would change the entire complexion of the situation.

Are we, like, asking someone up in church if they want to ball or not? That would definitely be faux pas, but not necessarily -phobic.

Phobia is an unnatural fear of something that elicits an irrational response. What you describe is not -phobic.

[porcelain_doll]

29. Hm.