female affection.

[ccharles000]

I have been thinking about the difference between two men kissing and two women kissing. I got the idea from 2020 on abc. It seems to me lesbians are safer than gay men when it comes to public displays of affection. Men in general are taught to never show emotion and women are expected to show emotion. When most straight men see two women kissing its hot but when its two men its disgusting. So it seems to me that lesbians who are affectionate are less likely to be bashed than gay men.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

1. thats not entirely true. lisa and i have gotten a lot of bashing for far less

than passionate kissing

[libnnc]

2. That is very true only if the women are

very "feminine" looking. Public affection between masculine or androgynous looking women is rarely tolerated.

[Chovexani]

8. I'll concur with this.

This is what kills me when people go on about how society "loves lesbians" but hates gay men.

The "lesbian" that hetero men love does not exist except on late night premium cable.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

11. yup

[Double T]

3. It ALL has to do with how often a person is exposed to viewing the affection.

I have several friends who are gay couples and their 'open' affection no longer makes me uncomfortable.

[Der Blaue Engel]

15. Why did it ever make you uncomfortable?

Just wondering.

[alphafemale]

4. I really don't want to see ANY couple really "going at it."

It doesn't matter the mix. If tongue or groping is involved that's not a PDA that should be public.

But tender hugging, smooching and hand-holding? That makes me smile no matter the couple.

So I may be a prude. But I'm an equal opportunity prude. :P

[Ilsa]

5. Two women here in my town were told by a restaurant manager that they

had to sit across from one another instead of next to each other. The manager said "this is a family restaurant". They weren't kissing or anything, they just wanted to sit with one another. They got up and left.

[poppysgal]

7. just who will be served

in some of these restaurants, right now if you smoke and are fat and want to smooch you are automatically kicked to the curb.:hi:

[Ilsa]

13. Those restaurants should be begging for those young women to

return. The restaurant business here is slowing down. Dining out is one of the first things to go when the budget gets tight, and we're suffering here with gas and food prices almost as much as anywhere else. Plus, wages tend to be lower here.

[roughsatori]

6. Have you kissed men passionately? Was it as "hot" as you thought it would be?

Do the thoughts of others regarding your kissing bother you? I could not care less about other peoples' thoughts regarding my private passion.

[readmoreoften]

9. When people look at my girlfriend and I they don't think "hot" because we're not straight women

pretending to be gay for male attention.

It is actually dangerous for a butch-femme couple in public because guys are turned on by the femme girl and enraged by the butch girl. Their masculinity is threatened by the butch girl and they perceive that the femme girl is one of "theirs" who is being stolen.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

12. exactly.

[Zuiderelle]

10. I think that's a bit too simplistic an assumption.

Women in general are easier targets than men, and much more often victims of violence than men, e.g. rape. Two women would be seen as much less of a threat of fighting back than two men would be.

I know several women who have been bashed. And I've received plenty of verbal bashing from people as a result of something as simple as holding my partner's hand in public.

I think there are differences, but it's a wrong assumption to make that women are bashed less.

[One_Life_To_Give]

14. Not necessarily

Women can show only the "Accepted" level of affection between two hetero women without risk. When you cross that line from being two female hetero friends to being romantically involved the homophobia comes out in full force.

For the guys it's just that no distinction is made between whether they act gay or feminine. Both have to be dealt with by beating the crap out of the offender. :sarcasm:

[Der Blaue Engel]

16. Female sexuality.

Men still think they own it. Unless they perceive women's sexuality as existing only for their gaze, misogynists and homophobes tend to react to actual woman-to-woman affection with rage and violence.

I think the larger context of violence against women often obscures attacks against lesbians. I don't have any proof of that; just my gut feeling.