They call me "slippers" at work...

[purduejake]

I work in a very hostile environment. I am in airline management and work on the ramp with some very angry employees.

Anyway, I was conducting a formal investigation at work today and the union steward (who hates me) referred to me as "slippers." I thought 'what the hell?!?' but continued on. Later, the employee she was representing referred to me as "slippers" and chuckled (after slamming into a $160,000,000 plane he thought he could clear).

My initial thought was that they're making fun of me because I am gay, but I am not sure why that's the first thing on my mind. The employees know I'm gay, but it's never something that we've talked about since I've never made it an issue.

After doing a little research, I figured out ruby slipppers are a pretty popular gay symbol, but do you think that's what people are making reference to? What do you guys/gals think? It is very important to me to stop being called this if it is a reference to my sexual orientation. Thanks for your help!!!

[Occulus]

1. You'll thank them later. They just created a hostile work environment.

Play everything right and they'll end up understanding that that was a very stupid thing to do.

[purduejake]

2. So you agree that it is because I'm gay?

I don't want to make a big deal out of this unless it is truly because of my sexual orientation. And I can make a big deal out of this, but need some backup and references.

[Occulus]

28. I can't imagine any other reason n/t

[Canuckistanian]

3. Beats me, and I'm a keen observer of these things.

"Slippers"? Hmmmm.

This sounds more like an inside joke of some kind (I know, how playground-ish)

On a semantic note, slippers are very quiet. Do you have a tendency to 'sneak up' on people?

[purduejake]

4. Nope...

And nobody has seen me almost take a spill while walking around outside. This is something VERY funny to people, but what is the basis for this inside joke? Some other supervisors are puzzled too, but I don't think they know I'm gay yet.

[Canuckistanian]

8. An inside joke, then

Maybe not even based on your suspicion.

[purduejake]

10. I mean the supervisors I consulted don't know...

The people calling me slippers do know.

[MADem]

5. As an old, straight fart, I have no idea, but you might be able to find

out if you can find someone who could ask the question when you aren't around..."Say, Fred, I heard you calling Ole PurdueJake 'Slippers'--what's that about?"

If it is a slur, you could be rich...we'll all be tapping you for a fifty till payday!!

[amitten]

6. Do you have a lisp of any kind?

Maybe they are poking fun at that..."slippers" would be a funny word to say with a lisp. ? :shrug:

[purduejake]

13. No lisp.

Good thinking though!

[Skittles]

7. you should just ask them why they would call you that

just confront them - I want to know if they have the guts to tell you why (for the record, no, I've never heard of gay folk being referred to as Slippers)

[jannyk]

9. Let's recap shall we...

You - Management
Them - Union Rep and Employee in deep doo doo

and you're thinking they are hostile because you are GAY?! Are you for real?

So, you have a nickname. All bosses have nicknames - usually derogatory. Mine have ranged from 'Dragon' to 'Boot' to 'Peanut' (have no idea of the connection for that one.) If 'Slippers' is the worst they refer to you as, you're in great shape. Why on earth does this bother you? If you want to go further up the ladder, I'd suggest toughening up a bit.

[purduejake]

11. The name has been around for days...

They just got into trouble today. This name has nothing to do with the hostilities of the moment.

Why would being ridiculed for my sexual orientation bother me? Is that a serious question? You want me to put up with possible harassment based on a protected class to move up the ladder? That's bullshit. If I allow harassment or discrimination based on any protected class, my ass would be booted.

edit: That is like telling a woman to let the boss grope her if she wants to keep her job and move up. Unacceptable.

[jannyk]

12. You have a nickname

and are automatically jumping to the immediate conclusion you are being sexually harrassed. Why?

As a woman that owned her own business long before there were any 'harassment laws', my advice is still 'toughen up'. Would you rather they call you 'asshole' or 'dickhead'?

[purduejake]

15. I am not sure why...

It was my immediate reaction, and since I am not sure why, I am just trying to do some research on the matter. Usually my instincts are correct.

Again, by law and company policy, I cannot 'toughen up.' Laws are very specific and hold the Company liable if it allows a hostile environment. If people can call me slippers and it is some kind of inside gay joke, how would that make my gay employees feel?

To answer your question, I would much rather be called asshole or dickhead. They mean nothing and are regular insults for management. This name is directed personally.

[seriousstan]

14. Light in the loafers perhaps?

[purduejake]

17. I wear boots to work...

just like everybody else, except mine aren't steel-toed. It wouldn't make for a funny inside joke if it were really about my shoes. But thanks for the idea! I am open to anything but being told I should take harassment even if based on sexual orientation.

[seriousstan]

20. You are being too literal, being "light in the loafers" is to be gay.

[purduejake]

23. Oops. I never heard that expression before!

:-)

[pocket]

26. it's decades old

not very current I guess.

[Occulus]

29. It's also a 'euphamism', which is a little (not much) different

"He's a lifetime bachelor"
"He's a little light in the loafers"

THOSE are old, "polite" phrases used to identify gay people.

As a gay man... I don't consider those "insults" as we understand the term today.

Calling someone "slippers" IS insulting... even if you DO identify with Dorothy.

[Jella]

16. My suggestion

is to document every time it's said to you, and who said it and who heard it, and their reaction. Then inquire as to why it's being said to you, and as it occurs tell them that it's not appropriate and that it does bother you, and you expect to be called by your name. Again, document every occurrence. If it persists, then go to your supervisor.

I have to say, that while you may find the response about it harming your chances to advance, I would have to agree that it could very well do that. Being able to handle your subordinates is key in management, and while no one should have to endure direct slurs, and/or names that make them uncomfortable, I believe that companies also don't want someone that are to sensitive.

Please don't take that to mean I think you should allow folks to dump on you, it's just that I don't want you to become someone they would view as a liability, more especially in a union shop.

I've been in management, and have had to work with union labor. Be smart and good luck to ya. :)

[purduejake]

21. Good advice... thanks!

Documentation is key and I am diligent about it. The way I handle this definitely determines my advancement within the company and that is why I'm not quick to react and am consulting the most intelligent people I know - DUers.

I think the perception is that I am too sensitive, but believe me I laugh off a bunch of crap I take from work. When people give me a hard time, I return the favor, but with a smile on my face. It's worked great in every zone and people generally love me, except for the ones in this zone I am working in now.

I completely understand what you're telling me and agree. Thanks for the advice!

[Jella]

24. No problem pjake

I can't tell you how important I feel it is for gay folks to achieve and advance to the top of any and all organizations. I also feel we need to make sure that our gay youth is educated and not fall to abuse that so many in my generation has succumbed to.

Good luck my friend and good night.

[zalinda]

18. I just found this

maybe this is what they were referring to
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/LITTLE-BRITAIN-SLIPPERS-DAFYD-ONLY-GAY-XMAS-GIFT_W0QQitemZ5449245897QQcategoryZ116739QQcmdZViewItem
some people troll ebay.

zalinda

[purduejake]

22. LOL

Thanks! I needed a good laugh! =)

[libodem]

19. I bet it is about the 'ruby' slippers

and they are making some reference to 'fairy'. Ohhh, aren't they sly. I think it might be a subtle slam. But how can you prove anything? People are freaks, what shitheads. ( I wish they would get in trouble for it.)

[Meldread]

25. My suggestion:

Document every time it happens. Then confront those who say it. You are their manager so you have authority over them. Look them dead in the eye, ask them if they think they are making some type of joke. Wait for their response. Tell them you expect to receive proper respect from them, and that from then on out they had better call you by your correct name.

Then go out of your way to make their lives much, much, much more difficult than it needs to be. Workers will talk, they will say how 'you can't take a joke', and how you are being 'unfair' to them... blah... blah... blah... but it isn't likely to happen again, at least not to your face. If it happens again after that you can report it.

[Lex]

27. The definition of "slipper" from urbandictionary.com

1. slipper

Homosexual, fagot, pitty trembeth.

http://slipper.urbanup.com/1266319


-------------


I too think you ought NOT to have to put up with slurs based on your sexual orientation.

Yes, people call their managers jerks, assholes, and dickheads. But being called faggot, dyke, or "slipppers" is not acceptable.


Lex

[Brian_Expat]

30. You're the manager, use your authority

If one of my employees -- union rep or not -- referred to me or any other employee with a racist, sexist, anti-gay or other slur, I'd suspend him or her on the spot for several days per company policy.

If it became epidemic, I would suspend other employees on their second offence after a stern warning.

Nobody should have to take this sort of thing in a professional environment, and the "advice" to "harden yourself" isn't correct. Work environments are not places for doling out abuse -- they're places for getting work done quickly and efficiently. Hostile climates take away from the ability to do work quickly and efficiently and should be tackled head-on.

I'd be a hard-ass about this if I were you.

[Ian David]

37. Your workplace is physically hazardous. No place for silliness

People who work with dangerous equipment should exercise proper discipline on the job at all times.

[jackpan1260]

31. Ask them and find out. Don't assume anything.

[Lex]

32. Don't you think they might not tell him the truth

if it is a slur against him?

That's a real possibility.

[jackpan1260]

33. You are right.

I usually prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt. I am not sure these people deserve it though.

[Brian_Expat]

34. No, if I was ticked enough, I would assume the typical meaning

Print out the urban dictionary definition, confront them with it, and be a hard-ass. If you don't receive an immediate apology, institute disciplinary action.

[Ian David]

38. Urban Dictionary is "collaborative" like Wikipedia

Hence deffinitions such as:

30. Boobies
Homosexual friend of Guthrie, pumping out the latest gay tribal house tunes.

Also see Guthrie.
Is that Boobies on the decks?

Source: Gillian Fields, Jan 20, 2004
http://boobies.urbanup.com/457776


Obviously, that is an inferior deffinition of Boobies.

This deffinition is better:

8. Boobies
A variety of bees (Apis mellifera) that produce milk.

One has to approach very cautiously when attempting to extract milk from unfamiliar boobies.

Source: Ian, Dec 7, 200
http://boobies.urbanup.com/934351

It's a better deffinition because I submitted it, along with:


1. Killer Boobies
A variety of bees (Apis mellifera maximus) that produce milk, but have been bred to be more aggressive than regular boobies.

Those are some killer boobies-- you'd better be careful or you're going to get hurt if you try to handle them.

Source: Ian, Dec 7, 2004
http://killer-boobies.urbanup.com/934951


One should take Urban Dictionary with a grain of salt.

But I agree that "slippers" is probably a reference to "Friends of Doroty" and "Ruby Slippers."




thesaurus: breasts, tits, boobs, titties, fun bags, hooters, jugs, nipples, booty, cans


3. boobies
Swimming birds (Sula fiber or S. sula) related to the common gannet, and found in the West Indies, nesting on the bare rocks.
Guy 1: "Check out those boobies!"
Guy 2: "Where?"
Guy 1: "Over there, nesting on the bare rocks of the West Indies!"
Guy 2: "...I hate you."
Source: super ultra hyper bishi bashi champ, Oct 5, 2003

[Brian_Expat]

39. Doesn't matter -- when someone attacks you, assume the worst. n/t

[Ian David]

40. Agreed. n/t

[Harper_is_Bush]

35. Do you fill out slips of paper as part of the investigation....slip...slip

slip?

Main Entry: 1slip
Pronunciation: 'slip
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): slipped; slip·ping
Etymology: Middle English slippen, from Middle Dutch or Middle Low German; akin to Middle High German slipfen to slide, Old High German slIfan to smooth, and perhaps to Greek olibros slippery
intransitive senses
1 a : to move with a smooth sliding motion b : to move quietly and cautiously : STEAL c : ELAPSE, PASS
2 a (1) : to escape from memory or consciousness (2) : to become uttered through inadvertence b : to pass quickly or easily away : become lost <let an opportunity slip>
3 : to fall into error or fault : LAPSE
4 a : to slide out of place or away from a support or one's grasp b : to slide on or down a slippery surface <slip on the stairs> c : to flow smoothly
5 : to get speedily into or out of clothing <slipped into his coat>
6 : to fall off from a standard or accustomed level by degrees : DECLINE
7 : SIDESLIP
transitive senses
1 : to cause to move easily and smoothly : SLIDE
2 a : to get away from : ELUDE, EVADE <slipped his pursuers> b : to free oneself from <the dog slipped its collar> c : to escape from (one's memory or notice) <their names slip my mind>
3 : SHED, CAST <the snake slipped its skin>
4 : to put on (a garment) quickly -- usually used with on <slip on a coat>
5 a : to let loose from a restraining leash or grasp b : to cause to slip open : RELEASE, UNDO <slip a lock> c : to let go of d : to disengage from (an anchor) instead of hauling
6 a : to insert, place, or pass quietly or secretly b : to give or pay on the sly
7 : SLINK, ABORT
8 : DISLOCATE <slipped his shoulder>
9 : to transfer (a stitch) from one needle to another without working a stitch
10 : to avoid (a punch) by moving the body or head quickly to one side


Hope it's something stupid, and not your orientation. :)

[cboy4]

36. Dude...if I heard someone at work call me "slippers"

I would immediately think it was because I was gay.

I'm not sure what I'd do, but if I didn't know the person very well, I would not be happy.