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A friend of mine died on Monday.

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undeterred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-06-11 12:11 AM
Original message
A friend of mine died on Monday.
Edited on Thu Oct-06-11 12:32 AM by undeterred
Her partner came over today and left a note on my door to tell me. Sadly, she came home from work on Monday and found her partner dead in her bed at the age of 62. She hadn't been well lately, and had had a couple of strokes, and was having trouble even gettng up out of bed to go to the bathroom. But she resisted the idea of going back into the hospital again and flatly refused to go when her partner tried to talk her into it on Saturday.

And there were bills, and family problems with her adult children, and depression. Not worth going into it all but one of the things that stands out to me is that these two had been together for 12 years, and the divorce from my friend's marriage wasn't over until less than a year ago. Guess who came out ahead: his lawyer. And my friends never got the chance to formalize their relationship as even a domestic partnershiship much less a marriage. Its just not fair. They weren't particularly political or anything like that. But I could see they had found real love and it is a sad thing that that was never celebrated in this world.

Here's to my friends. :grouphug: Please keep a good thought for the one left behind.


Edit: Besides the shock of losing a friend, and realizing the loss that this means for her partner... I am seeing close up how radically unfair it is that she isn't even considered "next of kin". In this case the adult children will certainly consider her for all that she meant to their mother, but in terms of legal standing, she has no rights.
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Kalidurga Donating Member (627 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-06-11 12:43 AM
Response to Original message
1. That is really sad,
my daughter (the middle one if it matters), has been in a relationship for 5 years. I don't know if it is true love or not ( rocky relationship), but nonetheless I think they should have the same right to marry if they want to, because if something happened to either one of them the other would be devastated if they could not for example visit in the hospital. Plus, my daughter's girlfriends family is very homophobic so if something does happen to her girlfriend I would not be to shocked if they blocked visitation. So, long story short only marriage can really protect their rights to see each other among other things.
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undeterred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-06-11 11:03 AM
Response to Reply #1
5. My friend had several hospital stays and her partner
was her primary caregiver. I don't think there were any issues at all involving visitation. Madison is about as GLBT friendly as it gets. Still, Wisconsin explicitly banned gay marriage in 2006 so that is in our state constitution.

Parents and friends, we need to fight for GLBT rights.
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queerart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-06-11 12:57 AM
Response to Original message
2. A Hug For Your Friend.... n/t
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Evasporque Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-06-11 09:02 AM
Response to Original message
3. It is a joy that they found each other...that can be celebrated by us all.
Loss is part of life and love, I wish you and your friend's partner and family my condolences.
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William769 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-06-11 09:22 AM
Response to Original message
4. Another Angel get wings.
Sorry you lost a friend. My condolences to you & her family.
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dbackjon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-06-11 12:19 PM
Response to Original message
6. Sorry to hear that
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WillParkinson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-06-11 01:17 PM
Response to Original message
7. I'm sorry for the loss of a friend, a family member and a spouse...
My best to everyone.
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joeybee12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-06-11 01:30 PM
Response to Original message
8. I'm so sorry...here's good vibes to you and your friends...
:grouphug:
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