Boy harassed at 4-H summer camp for being gay

[WillParkinson]

Boy harassed at 4-H summer camp for being gay

(W. Va.) A mother from Jackson County, West Virginia, filed a police report after her 15-year-old son was harassed for an hour and a half at a summer 4-H camp because he is gay.

“He was unconscionable, he was, he could barely speak,” said Valera White, the boy’s mother.

The case will be difficult for police, as West Virginia does not include sexual orientation in their hate crimes law.

This is not the first time that the family has had to endure harassment because of the boy’s sexual orientation. According to White, simple tasks such as going to the grocery store are difficult because of taunting, and going to the movies is not longer an option.

http://www.365gay.com/news/boy-harassed-at-4-h-summer-camp-for-being-gay/

[KansDem]

1. 4-H Club: "Hate- Harass- Homophobia- Hell"

One of the reasons my 11-year-old son is no longer in Cub/Boy Scouts. Not that he witnessed anything this bad, but I noticed a tinge of right-wing "philosophy" coming through at the meetings.

I don't want him to experience this, either as the target or as part of the mob mentality that encourages such behavior...

[ThomCat]

4. Good choice.

The boy scouts have gone all the way to the supreme court for the right to discriminate against atheists and gay kids. As a private organization they are able to get away with it, but at the same time they try to get the use of a lot of public spaces and resources.

There is a wide-ranging boycott of the scouts because of their bigotry, and many of us keep bringing it up every chance we get to make sure this issue never dies. They have lost the use of a lot of public spaces because of this, and lost a lot of public funding too. As long as they keep supporting discrimination we're going to make sure that decision haunts them whenever possible.

[Zodiak]

11. I am an Eagle Scout

But I essentially stopped calling myself that as soon as I heard about the Boy Scout policy towards gays in the early 1990's. As much as I learned from scouts, bigotry wasn't amongst the lessons. In fact, inclusiveness was a big thing when I came up in scouts. I guess that went out the door at the end of the "Reagan revolution", as well.

Makes me sad that an organization that taught me so much is stuck on outdated, bigoted policies. Because of it, I will NEVER rejoin the scouts as a leader. I am not the only Eagle that feels this way, I'm sure.

[DrDan]

8. oh come on - let's be reasonable

This has nothing to do with the 4H - it has to do with these early teens. What group of early teens would not have done the same thing.

Do you really think the 4H is preaching this hatred?

[joeybee12]

9. You have an interesting definition of reasonable...

...the reasonable thing would be for those in authority at 4-H to not let this sort of thing happens...kids can be stupid and unfeeling, but adults should know better.

[DrDan]

17. they did - they sent a couple of the kids home

what should they have done - arrested them?

[joeybee12]

23. What, after an hour and a half?

They obviously let it get out of hand.

[DrDan]

24. well - neither of us were there - so hard to tell what actually transpired

during the hour and a half.

My objection was with the poster for insinuating that the 4H was actually teaching this hate and promoting the harassment. I think that is ridiculous.

[noamnety]

27. That's normally how violent assaults are handled. (nt)

[DrDan]

31. guess I missed the part about violence (nt)

[noamnety]

33. Hmmm.

"He was unconscionable, he was, he could barely speak,""

The language as written doesn't really work. I figured the mom was using unconscionable wrong, and maybe meant attacked to where he was barely conscious based on the second half of the sentence ... but maybe you're right and there was no physical attack and the mom's just making up definitions. If that's the case, then sent home and kicked out of 4h might be appropriate.

That was a poor quote for the reporter to include as it confuses the issue rather than shedding light on it.

[DrDan]

34. I was confused about that also - not sure what that means

but I certainly did not read any violence into the story

[WillParkinson]

38. I think...

She meant inconsolable.

in⋅con⋅sol⋅a⋅ble
/ˌɪnkənˈsoʊləbəl/
–adjective
not consolable; that cannot be comforted; disconsolate

[TommyO]

10. If they did nothing to stop the harassment, they're just as liable for it.

Why are you so quick to excuse this anti-gay harassment as just something that early teens do?

[DrDan]

18. I excused nothing.

And they did something to stop the harassment - they sent a couple of the kids home.

[Tyo]

12. 4H might not be preaching hatred....

but they appear to be turning a blind eye to it, if not actually condoning it. Where were the adults when all this was happening?

And as for your assumption that any group of early teens would have done this, I think you underestimate early teens. I have been out pretty much all of my life. When I was growing up in the '90s the crap I had to put up with from my early teen peers was minimal and came mainly from a few kids with other issues.

I think that the easy time I had was due in no small part to the policies set by the schools I attended and the example of the teachers and staff. And probably because of what my classmates they were taught at home as well. I think that setting the right example and instilling the right values can go a long way toward countering any adolescent tendency to be a jerk. 4H doesn't seem to be doing this.

[DrDan]

16. sounds like they were not present - they were sitting on the porch

I did not say ALL early teens did this. But you cannot deny there is all types of harassment from this age group - harassing the overweight, the poor, and on and on and on.

Plus 2 kids were sent home. Sounds like the 4H tried to deal with it.

[Tyo]

19. You said that there wasn't a group of early teens that wouldn't

do this, which to me is the same thing as saying all early teens would do this.

But anyway, the main point is that proper policies and examples, and effective intervention can go a long way toward countering the teen tendency to ostracize and harass. At least that's been my experience.

[DrDan]

20. it happens with groups of early teens - is that better? And I suggest any group is potentially a

candidate for fostering this behavior.

I would never say all early teens would be guilty of this behavior. But - you cannot deny that they can be cruel with their comments - toward the overweight, those with handicaps, etc.

They sent 2 kids home? Sounds like they are trying to do the right thing.

[Tyo]

21. I haven't denied it at all.

I've explicitly acknowledged it in my two earlier posts.

My question would be do the kids who were sent home know why they were sent home? Was it for being disruptive and causing a disturbance or was it for harassing the gay kid? The adults were presented with what I think they call a teachable moment here. I hope that they took advantage of it, but I doubt that they did.

[DrDan]

22. I find it refreshing that something was done

rather than characterize the 4H as a group of "haters", I think credit should be given for their action.

Neither of us know the details surrounding how they were sent home. I am pleased it was dealt with by the leaders.

[imdjh]

13. It has to do with 4H if no one in charge stepped in.

I extend that to all adults. If you see a kid being harassed, stop and ask if there is a problem. If you see two or more kids ganging up on another kid, put a stop to it. Take a minute out of your day to stop the car, interrupt your walk or bike ride, stroll across the beach or playground to put an end to it. It doesn't matter if all the kids then turn and cuss you or whatever bad habits their parents have taught them, you did the right thing and the thing that adults in a society are supposed to do.

[DrDan]

15. two kids were sent home - sounds like they did step in

[noamnety]

28. Would you feel the same way

If this had been a rape we were talking about?

A couple of boys at camp rape a girl, the counselors take appropriate action by sending the rapists home. Acceptable? Unacceptable?

[DrDan]

32. you must be kidding

you want to equate this with a rape?

[noamnety]

36. See response #33

was he nearly unconscious (implying severe physical attack), or were the other people unconscionable?

In the first case, I'd equate it. In the second, no, absolutely not.

[DrDan]

37. ok - I agree with that

[ThomCat]

2. I'm glad that he's strong enough and stuborn enough

to be out and open at 15 years old, and that his family supports him. :)

Obviously the camp wasn't prepared for this, and isn't handling it very well. They don't know how many kids were involved, or what they did, or what their staff were doing or should have been doing. Not even a boilerplate statement about ensuring that no bullying happens to anybody at their camp.

I bet they're hoping this all blows over. I hope it doesn't.

It is unfortunate that the kids that did the bullying will get no punishment at all other than being sent home. Bullying and harassing a kid because he is gay is legal? x(

[Sebass1271]

3. boys at 15 are open about their sexual orientation?

this is really strange.

[WillParkinson]

5. How so?

It's a whole new world. People are coming out earlier and earlier.

[BeeBee]

6. Strange? How so?

Kids are a lot more open nowadays than they were when I was their age (I'm in my 40s now).

[La Lioness Priyanka]

7. i believe these days the average coming out age is 14

[imdjh]

14. Which when you consider how many 40 year old closet cases there are...

... the low age must be as soon as they can talk. :)

[donco6]

25. Considering it's well past puberty, how is that strange? n/t

[Starry Messenger]

30. I know several teenagers who are openly heterosexual, too.

Seems weird doesn't it? :crazy:

[Tyo]

35. Oh, I know..

Straights are coming out earlier and earlier now. But I think it's a healthy thing and shows that society is becoming more open and accepting.

[Obama2012]

41. I've never heard of openly heterosexual teenage boys

How strange.

[Obama2012]

40. There were out gay 15 year old boys at my HS

What's strange about it?

[Name removed]

26. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Tyo]

29. Everyone is different I guess

I had crushes on other boys even when I was five or six and I saw right off that they weren't reacting to me in the same way that I was reacting to them. At that age I obviously wasn't up to speed on the sex angle but it was clear to me that on one level there was some sort of mysterious disconnect between me and my male friends and it seemed to have something to do with the fact that I was more interested in girl things than they were. It was kind of puzzling but I took it in stride.

I found out later that my parents had me figured out pretty early on, but they were supportive and let grow up as I needed to grow up. Luckily I've never felt that i had to "pass" because I can't imagine that I'd be able to do it for very long or very successfully. Once I was old enough to get some sort of a handle on what "gay" meant I knew that was me. So did everyone else.

[Obama2012]

42. How come people never call it a phase with straight kids?

You don't just wake up one day and say "I'm gaaay, all hands on deck boys, this Queen Mary is ready to set sail."

Wow. Just fucking wow.

Do you think that's funny?

[TokenQueer]

39. Hmmm...what's missing here?

"4-H is an educational organization for boys and girls who are at least five years of age and have not passed their 19th birthday by January 1.
It is open to all regardless of race, color, sex, handicap, religion, age, or national origin."

http://www.udc.edu/ces/4h/about.htm