When did you decide to be GLBT?

[Orrex]

And by "decide to be" I of course mean "realize that you are."


I can clearly recall my first girlfriend, Nicole, back in my nursery school days. My best friend at the time was Craig, but even then I knew that there was something different about the way I liked Nicole.

So where does the notion of late-teen sexual self-awareness, as preached by bigots and Conservatives (I repeat myself) come from? Do they think it has something to do with the onset of puberty?

I know one man who, when I asked him when he knew he was gay, replied "Good lord! 8:00AM on day one!" And a few years ago I knew a transvestite who said that it felt more "right" to wear girls' clothes even when he was as young as four (which was way back in the 1940s). That's not the same as a gay/straight realization, I know, but it speaks of an awareness of sexual identity as it pertains to societal expectations at large.


If you'd rather not mention when you realized who you were, please share your thoughts as to where the idea of "choice" comes from in this context.


Edited to fix a transposition.

[Skittles]

1. I want to be GBLT but alas

it was a no sale :(

[xchrom]

2. oh you're a member of the family -- in fact you're the 'hit man''. nt

[TechBear_Seattle]

18. So you are saying that you didn't catch the rainbow? n/t

[Strathos]

3. FIRST GRADE

Two things happened. A little girl told me she had a boyfriend. I wanted one.

A little African American boy bopping down the aisle between the desks, snapping his fingers and humming, I wanted HIM to be my boyfriend.

Didn't learn the word until I was about 14, but knew the feeling inside for a LONG time before that and nothing has changed.

[daninthemoon]

4. i decided to be a lesbian trapped in a man's body

[petronius]

5. Well, I'm straight, but on my 13th birthday I sat down and made two very careful lists

There were 17 plusses on the GLBT list, but I had 18 entries on the straight side, so I went with that one.

Wait, that never happened! I don't have the faintest idea when I first realized that girls were neato, but it was never a question in my mind - no 'choice' was offered or required...

[Fovea]

6. I was maybe eight

and my neighbor who was maybe 12 was showing me how to masturbate.
I realized that his erection was quite affecting.

As I learned about sex, I was surrounded by girls, and I mostly submerged my attraction to men.
Then, I lost a testicle to cancer at 18, and my girlfriend freaked out badly. My male roomate was my closest relationship during that time.

I have had longer relationships with women, but then again, I have not been much good in the monogamy department. Longer is relative.

Human bodies are beautiful things. Some of them are attached to really sexy people.

[Orrex]

7. What a great post!

Human bodies are beautiful things. Some of them are attached to really sexy people.

Love it!

[Jamastiene]

12. That would make a great sig line, wouldn't it?

:thumbsup:

[DarkTirade]

10. Human bodies are beautiful things. Some of them are attached to really sexy people.

That may be the best quote I've ever seen on this site. :)

[donheld]

8. I did not decide anything - That's so off-putting

I knew I was interested in boys at about age 7.

[Orrex]

11. Didn't actually read the post, did you?

:evilgrin:

[donheld]

25. yes i did

[Orrex]

29. Didn't actually understand it then, did you?

Seems like everyone else got it, and no one found it off-putting.


Sorry if it came across that way, but I thought that the wording made the intent reasonably clear.

[DarkTirade]

9. It took me a while because I do like girls, and since that's what society expected of me, that's the

way I went. It wasn't until I was 19 or so that I finally realized it, or at least admitted it to myself... and half of my friends said, "Well duh. We knew that." when I came out. :P

[dsc]

13. I knew I was different in first grade

I would watch guys play games and was just fascinated. Guys used to wear those tight little shorts and they were so hot.

[dickthegrouch]

14. I can remember sending my sister out of the room

so that I could kiss Paul McCartney's picture on the television when I was six and she was four (in 1964). I.e. I had already learned at some level that it was not safe to reveal these feelings.

My first crush on a boy I actually knew must have been around the same time, I was invited to his birthday party and we were caught kissing in the bathroom. Much histrionics on the part of his mother, but no consequences I remember.

I was always much more interested in the boys, but like a lot of others, I hid it by watching the boys but playing with the girls. Then when I was eight I met R. He was 10 and I was helplessly in love.

Sadly he moved on to the next level of schooling after a year and I wasn't due to move for another two years so we lost touch for too long to recover. That was right around the time that homosexuality was decriminalized in England and I remember my mother showing me a newspaper article about gay bashing and asking if I understood it. I replied yes, but I didn't understand for another 5 years that she was warning me, because she had already accepted me as gay.

The first time I actually told someone else "I am gay", though, didn't happen until I was 14 in trouble for kissing another boy and needing to explain why. It didn't seem at all strange to me, but that was my first real experience of negative consequences. I hid for a few more years, and suffered terrible stomach problems as a result of my anxiety. After I left home to go to college, I came out completely and miraculously all those stomach problems went away.

D

[NMMNG]

15. Probably around 7 or 8 when I started getting those "crushes" on TV stars

Mine were just on girls/young women instead of boys/young men. Melissa Sue Anderson and Angela Cartwright led me astray... ;-)

[Rowdyboy]

16. Age 5 (1959), the men's dressing room of the public swimming pool of my hometown....

I was fascinated by what I saw.

Now I know why.

[lightningandsnow]

17. I knew I was non-heterosexual around 12.

At first I thought I was bisexual, then, by around the age of 13, I identified as a lesbian, then, in the last year or so, I realized that I am, indeed, bisexual.

However, when I was really young (like, 5 or 6), I thought I wanted to live with my best (female) friend when I grew up. That could have been an early hint.

[Stevenmarc]

19. Well I started to rearrange the furniture at 2

[Yes We Did]

27. LOL!

:rofl: That is too funny... I used to do the same thing. In fact, I still do it all the time. I can't stand having my apartment stay the same for too long.

[AB_Positive]

20. Depends...

Lesse... for me I had to actually realize that yes, I was indeed gay, but wouldn't really show it until I started transitioning gender. Took a bit to realize "If you want to be a woman that sleeps with women then yes, you're gay". Silly in retrospect but being pigeonholed into the 'straight' column for so long does that to you.

Stupid gender/sexuality identity crap. Muddies everything up and makes straight AND gay women not interested. :D

[Strong Atheist]

21. 18 or 19. Bi. Before that it was all girls, but then I noticed a friend... nt.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

22. likewise but in opposite direction. nt

[Strong Atheist]

24. .

:toast:

[Lilith Velkor]

32. Same here.

I've preferred to dress like a boy since first grade.

I discovered I like boys who dress like girls in my mid-20s.

[closeupready]

23. I'm not sure. I had a crush on another boy on the first day of kindergarten.

I went over to his house, and even then, we all knew that I liked boys not girls. Wasn't until years later that I 'gave in' to acknowledging that I was gay and always would be, but I still remember how the psychological relief I felt at that moment was almost like getting an injection of painkillers.

[Yes We Did]

26. I thought it was the first time I saw QAF...

However I more recently realized it was probably the first time I saw David Bowie's obligatory bulge in The Labyrinth.

[mitchtv]

28. I chose to be strate

It didn't take. what could I do, I stayed Gay. that was in the fifties

[ronnykmarshall]

30. I knew was attracted to boys in grammer school.

I had crushes on the same guys my girl cousins did.

I didn't come out until I was 19.

But I had already been screwing around with guys since I was 16.

[Not Me]

31. Ninth Grade

I was at a new high school...all boys private school. Seated behind David W. He was so damn handsome. For the longest time, I just thought I was envious of his good looks. Then I realized I was attracted to him. And that started many years of questioning, Catholic guilt, and a generally closeted life. When I decided to come out, I did it in a big way. Within a week, everyone who knew me was aware, and I have lived open and proud since.