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If your daughter came to you and said she was going to have an abortion, what would you say/do?

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uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 02:48 PM
Original message
If your daughter came to you and said she was going to have an abortion, what would you say/do?
Edited on Tue Nov-15-11 02:49 PM by uppityperson

How would you feel? Would you be happy about it? Sad? Supportive? Try to find other choices?

(this was inspired by a post elsewhere on DU on another thread)

Edited to add that I am leaving the age of the daughter out of the question, to keep this open to more possibilities.
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cyberswede Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 02:49 PM
Response to Original message
1. 100% supportive
No question.
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Blue_In_AK Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 02:50 PM
Response to Original message
2. I would be totally supportive.
It's her body and her life.
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eridani Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 02:50 PM
Response to Original message
3. Whatever her choice, 100% supportive n/t
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DURHAM D Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 02:50 PM
Response to Original message
4. Supportive. nt
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sinkingfeeling Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 02:51 PM
Response to Original message
5. "When is your appointment? I'll go with you."
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snacker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 02:56 PM
Response to Reply #5
13. That was my first reaction too.
Be there to love and support her.
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-16-11 10:23 PM
Response to Reply #5
27. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
rocktivity Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 02:51 PM
Response to Original message
6. 1000% supportive
Edited on Tue Nov-15-11 02:52 PM by rocktivity
Who am I (or who is anyone else) to tell her (or anyone else) that she should (or shouldn't) have a baby?

:headbang:
rocktivity
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newfie11 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 03:31 PM
Response to Reply #6
20. Total agreement! n/t
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uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 02:52 PM
Response to Original message
7. To answer my own post. I'd be grateful and happy that she chose to share this
with me. Supportive of her choice and try and help as best I could.
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mzteris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 02:52 PM
Response to Original message
8. I would listen to her.
A LOT would depend on her age.

A lot would depend on her circumstance.

A lot would depend on WHY she's making the decision. (Make sure there is no undue pressure to do something she may not really want to do.)

I would want her to make the BEST DECISION for her - and I would support her 100% in what ever decision that would be.

But as a parent, my job is to make sure they've considered every problem from all angles before making a life-changing decision.
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Old and In the Way Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 02:52 PM
Response to Original message
9. If she wasn't prepared to be a parent (and she isn't), I'd be supportive.
I'd be neither happy nor sad. It's a medical procedure, pure and simply.
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mike_c Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 02:53 PM
Response to Original message
10. ask her if there's anything I can do....
eom
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broiles Donating Member (41 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 02:53 PM
Response to Original message
11. Ask her what she wanted to do.
If she wanted an abortion I would help her access and pay.
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MuseRider Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 02:54 PM
Response to Original message
12. Help her.
I want grandchildren but this is not my choice. I only have sons so I do not have to deal with this. Just so you know. It would be the same thing if it was a girlfriend of my sons or a wife.

If a young woman is not ready she is not ready. Period. Her body, her choice.

Yes, I would be a little sad but only for myself but I don't count in this decision.
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uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 02:58 PM
Response to Reply #12
14. Hi. Just posted a "son" one. What if was not a "young woman" but an older one?
If you were ancient like me and your 35 yr old daughter/son said this?
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MuseRider Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 03:09 PM
Response to Reply #14
17. Same.
If it is not my body I have no say. Like I said before, I would be sad. Especially sad if I had no grandchildren but that does not change anything. Her body her choice even if my son was against it.

BTW, I am older than you I think :) :hi:
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uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 03:12 PM
Response to Reply #17
18. I know, was being silly.
And I know that's what you'd do. Found this post elsewhere on DU and thought it might be interesting for some.
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PeaceNikki Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 02:58 PM
Response to Original message
15. 100% supportive
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PoiBoy Donating Member (842 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 03:01 PM
Response to Original message
16. Totally supportive...
:hi:













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peace13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 03:29 PM
Response to Original message
19. I would make damn sure that she had a good doctor.
I would also be certain that she had someone who loved her by her side during her recovery.
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lector Donating Member (61 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 03:36 PM
Response to Original message
21. Let's educate ourselves
On every possibility. Whatever you decide, I will back your play. Just make an educated decision.
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Warpy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 03:36 PM
Response to Original message
22. I don't have a daughter, but I have supported any woman's decision
in the past and will support any woman's decision in the future.

It's her body, her life. I'd just write the check and make sure Planned Parenthood counseled her on birth control so she didn't have to endure another one, surgical abortion being painful like any surgery is.
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HockeyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 06:36 PM
Response to Original message
23. Well, given that my daughter is a lesbian
The only way she would be having an abortion would be because of rape. While I do belive in choice, I would support abortion in the case of rape 1,000%. No woman should be forced to bear a rapist's baby, and while I know my daughter would like to have children, RAPE is not the way to have them. Adoption or IVF is a far better way.
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NMMNG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 09:50 PM
Response to Original message
24. If my (hypothetical) daughter told me she was going to have an abortion
I'd ask her if she needed any help (money, a ride to the clinic, backup to get through any protesters, support through the experience, etc).
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G3ND3R_B3ND3R Donating Member (11 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-15-11 11:19 PM
Response to Original message
25. Nothing. Just give her my support
I don't have a daughter. Hypothetically, I wouldn't do anything at all. Her body, her choice.

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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-16-11 09:55 PM
Response to Original message
26. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
Kath1 Donating Member (60 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-17-11 05:59 AM
Response to Original message
28. 100% Supportive
My daughter is in her 20s and is an adult. I would certainly be there to discuss it with her and help her make the right decisions but it would ultimately be her choice. I would be a hypocrite if I handled it any other way.
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MayHamm Donating Member (24 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-22-11 11:28 PM
Response to Original message
29. Weird to see the same question but a daughter this time

It's still just as easy to answer -

"Oh, that's too bad. Do you need any money or anything?"

Pretty much the same thing I'd say for any other medical problem she had.

.

But I wonder why the question was asked separately for male and female offspring.
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uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-23-11 05:42 PM
Response to Reply #29
30. Because I did the daughter one, then realized"son" would also be interesting, perhaps in a
different way since it involves not the pregnant woman but the son. Wondering what differences might show up.

Thanks for answering.
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Antifa919 Donating Member (16 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-26-11 03:20 AM
Response to Original message
31. I would completely support it
The right to choose an abortion is a right for a woman. To me it would be no different than her saying deciding what she wants for dinner or what clothes she's going to wear.
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