A-Rod Can't Wait To Someday Tell Estranged Grandchildren About 2009 Postseason

[joeybee12]

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/a_rod_cant_wait_to_someday_tell

NEW YORK—Alex Rodriguez continued his dream postseason Saturday by hitting the tying home run in Game 2 of the American League Championship Series, a feat he hopes to reminisce about one day with his countless estranged grandchildren.

"I can see it now: I'll visit my grandkids every year and a half or so, remind them that I am actually their grandfather, and if it's not too awkward, I'll sit them on my lap," Rodriguez said during a postgame press conference, adding that he'll probably have grandchildren he barely knows scattered throughout the country. "Then I'll tell them about how I once knocked an 0-2 Brian Fuentes pitch over the right-field wall during the ALCS."

Added Rodriguez, "While I'm doing this I'll make sure my 23-year-old girlfriend waits in the car."
Rodriguez, whose wife divorced him after he spent months philandering with both Madonna and numerous unidentified strippers, also tied Games 2 and 3 of the ALDS with clutch home runs—home runs he'd like to recount to future neglected offspring too numerous to name.

______________________________________________________________

I don't even know any Stinkee Skankee Spankmee Yankmee Wankmee Bankee fans who live A-Hole/Fraud/Roid.

Go Philly!!!!!

[joeybee12]

1. Kicking so all the decent, God-fearing Yankee haters out there

can have a laugh.

[Initech]

6. After Tuesday's game I needed something to justify my Yankee hate.

:rofl:

[joeybee12]

7. Oh, I never need anything to justify my hate...

...just the name of Satan's Minions is enough!

[Initech]

9. A-Fraud is a demon set loose on the earth to lower the standards.

To use Bill Hicks' terminology.

[joeybee12]

14. He's evolutions's Big Mistake! n/t

[BoneDaddy]

2. yeah Philly

the worst god forsaken fan base in the world.

[joeybee12]

3. I can't believe I have to cheer for Philly again this year...

...have no feelings one way or the other, but I can't root for Satan, and yet I don't really want philly to win two years in a row...I hold out no hope for the angels.

[gblady]

4. I know....me, too....

I was hoping for an all LA Series...but it's not to be.
I now hope the Philly's win it all, just cannot stomach the Y's.

[joeybee12]

5. Yeah, if the Stinkee Skankee Spankmee Yankmee Wankmee Bankmees win...

...proof there is no God, but there is a Hell.

[MrSlayer]

35. Oh balls. We're the most passionate fan base in the world.

And fuck you if you don't like it. :P

[gratuitous]

8. Interesting baseball trivia

Many team names are actually abbreviations of longer names, now no longer in use. It's true! The Cincinnati Reds used to be known as the "Redlegs." "Mets" is short for "Metropolitans." And "Yankees" is short for "Yankeessuck."

[joeybee12]

10. Of course!

:evilgrin:

[woofless]

11. Fuck Alex Rodriguez.

[thelordofhell]

12. I think that was the point of the article

:rofl:

[joeybee12]

13. Kicking! come on, more Skankee bashing before tonight's game....

....Please!!!!!

[KatyMan]

15. how about this?

Fuck the Yankees. I'm an NL guy, but I can honestly say, Fuck the Yankees. Unfortunately for you, judging by your avatar, I would also say Fuck the Red Sox :) Nobody outside of Boston or NY cares about either team....

[flvegan]

16. NObody likes A-Rod.

May Madonna bring him the same luck she brought Canseco.

[KatyMan]

17. Agreed

Joe Buck and Tim McCarver can kiss my ass. They're such homers for the Yankees, and so far up Alex Rodriguez's ass that it's not funny. Typical Fox, utterly unable to be 'fair and balanced', even in sports.

[Voltaire]

26. They ARE Yankee Homerdogs

and the worst thing about the next week to ten days will be to constantly hear about how powerful the Yankees are and how Philly should abandon all hope. Phillies in six and I hope its less than that so Buck and McCarver can fuckin choke on it.

[KatyMan]

32. Well, I'm hoping Phillies in 4 :)

I grew up in Philly, in those 70s playoff years, so I'm still a big fan (or phan, I guess).
It'll be a good Series, and I think the Phils way overmatch the Yanks.

edited to clarify, I'm assuming a Yankee win over LAA. I'm rooting for the Angels, but I think NY will take it.

[Voltaire]

33. I started with them in the fated season of 64

I was only 5 but what the hell. Never thought of rooting for another team, never. I have lived all over the world, Indianapolis for the last 13 years and never once did I drop the Phillies. So I hope they kill the Yankees (or the Angels, should the baseball gods see it that way).

[El Supremo]

18. Welcome back to the Sports Forum, Joeybee!!!

Even if the mods moved your thread here without your permission.

:party: :toast:

[joeybee12]

28. Yeah, I guess I'm back....

...I'm breaking the rules, but hey, what the heck!


:hi:

[madinmaryland]

19. Welcome back to the Sports forum, cjoeybee4!!

:hi:

[joeybee12]

30. Thanks trumadinmaryland!

:hi:

[madinmaryland]

34. ...

Douche!

:D

:hi:

[Earth Bound Misfit]

20. It's a parody, jackazz.

:evilgrin:

Yanks in 6!

DAMN! Can't Un-REC it in this forum

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[gblady]

23. Angels in 7.........

that's my dream!

[Earth Bound Misfit]

24. And that's my NIGHTMARE.

Girardi MANGLED another winnable game.:banghead: Wouldn't surprise me if he does it again.

[Auggie]

21. Hi joeybee.

Football picks tomorrow?



:thumbsup:

[joeybee12]

29. Well, I wasn't posting in the Sports Forum until the WS ended...

...then the mods moved this...maybe I should pick.

[TZ]

22. Hi Joey!

I see what you mean about you being nuts during the playoffs:P I was rooting for the Phillies anyhoo ;)

[joeybee12]

31. If they beat Satan (I still think the Angels will lose because of their dumb coach)

then I will be forever grateful to them!

:hi:

[Capt. America]

25. And then they will ask, "Grandpa, was taking steroids cheating?"

[joeybee12]

27. Only if you get caught, son, only if you get caught....n/t