My New Year's Resolution

[rug]

To hold myself to principles of decent interaction with my fellow humans.

[Robb]

1. K&R. As an aside,

...Bob Fulghum taught me how to stretch canvas onto a frame -- and to take nothing for granted. :)

[rug]

3. Wow, he's always struck me as a well-grounded person.

If you are still in contact with him remind him of the power of a gentle essay.

Happy New Year to you and your family, especially the little one.

[darkstar3]

2. That must have been some kindergarten,

because I still haven't learned everything I need to know yet.

[laconicsax]

7. But there's a simple three-letter answer to every question you may have.

It's an answer a kindergarten student might find satisfactory.

[darkstar3]

8. Good point.

I always seem to forget that I once knew the universal answer...

(LOL BTW)

[skepticscott]

4. Or, as I learned later in life

Share everything (except STDs)

Play fair (unless you're fighting a war against an enemy trying to exterminate an entire race)

Don't hit people (unless they hit you first, then finish the fight they started)

Put things back where you find them (unless you're a surgeon removing a bullet)

Etc., etc. Too great a love of Gumpian "wisdom" is why idiots are so popular as politicians.

[rug]

5. Have a cookie.

[laconicsax]

6. Funny. n/t

[femrap]

9. Good resolutions, indeed. nt

[pokerfan]

10. What about algebra?

How can you know anything without basic algebra?!

:hide:

[rug]

11. Don't get this moved to GD.

[darkstar3]

12. Why, because it belongs in the lounge?

[laconicsax]

13. Haven't you heard? Basic algebra is advanced math that no one needs to know.

Heard it here on DU so it mus be true.

[Codeine]

14. Ah, folksy wisdom.

Will it ever go the hell away?

[rug]

15. Here's a hamster you'll like.

http://fun-pics.com/hamster,gun,cute.jpg

[pokerfan]

16. Consider this an antidote

And no offense intended towards the OP.

Undesiderata

Go placidly amid the noise & haste, but better yet, avoid the noise and haste altogether. Be on good terms with all persons as far as possible; especially with shopkeepers.

Speak the truth plainly & clearly; listen to others, even the dull and ignorant, until you are certain they are utterly useless. When you are not among men of reason, it is better to run than argue. Make use of loud & aggressive persons as salesmen, and to broadcast your radical views.

If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain & bitter; for always there will be greater & lesser persons than yourself. This is a good thing; vanity makes you more interesting to look at, and bitterness makes you more practical and realistic.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble; but if you don't enjoy humility for its own sake, learn to exercise yourself in greater spheres of action. Once you know something it is yours forever; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. You always have to take care of wealth; knowledge takes care of you.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of people who must turn a profit to survive. Many persons strive for high ideals; some thrive, and some starve. There is no good reason to starve. Most people throw away treasures. Many useful & interesting items can be had for half price, if you are willing to buy them used.

Be yourself. Especially, do not deny yourself pleasure for fear of social stigma. Indulge yourself in private. If you love yourself shamelessly, others will love you.

Resist aging and death with every resource available to you. Nurture skills of self-defense. Learn how to survive under difficult conditions; this may shield you in sudden misfortune. Distinguish between illusion and reality, between emotion and fact. Avoid making important decisions on too little sleep.

Kick your own ass. The universe neither cares about you nor recognizes any obligation to you. It is fixed and blind, a mad robot programmed to kill. You are free and seeing; you must outwit it at every poor turn.

Whatever your labors & aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, you must create your own sanity, prosperity, and peace. The world is so gorgeous it hurts. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

Copyright 1995 Romana Machado * Please do not distribute without acknowledgement *

[onager]

17. Deteriorata

Not found in an old Baltimore church...

Chorus:
You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not, the universe
Is laughing behind your back.

Go placidly amid the noise and waste.
And remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.

Avoid quiet and passive persons, unless you are in need of sleep.

Rotate your tires.

Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself, and heed well their advice,
Even though they be turkeys.

Know what to kiss.....and when!

Consider that two wrongs never make a right. But three do.

Wherever possible, put people on hold.

Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment, and despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.

Chorus

Remember the Pueblo. Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle and mutilate.

Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI.

Exercise caution in your daily affairs, especially with those persons closest to you.
That lemon on your left, for instance.

Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet.

Fall not in love therefore; it will stick to your face.

Gracefully surrender the things of youth, birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan...
And let not the sands of time get in your lunch.

Hire people with hooks. For a good time call 606-4311; ask for "Ken."

Take heart amid the deepening gloom, that your dog is finally getting enough cheese.

And reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be worse in Milwaukee.

Chorus

Therefore, make peace with your god,
Whatever you conceive him to be - hairy thunderer, or cosmic muffin.

With all its hopes, dreams, promises and urban renewal
The world continues to deteriorate.

Give up!

Chorus

[rug]

18. I like it. It has a Randian flair, without the bombast.

Didn't she also say, "Death and taxes are unsolved engineering problems"?

[pokerfan]

19. No idea

Googling found this:

http://quotationsbook.com/quote/32494/

"Death and taxes are unsolved engineering problems." - Romana Machado