If you still believe in god, you should get yourself a home in a bad neighborhood.

[Boojatta]

You'll see what it's like when you're on a strict diet. Imagine that you have brown rice, tofu, broccoli, corn, lima beans, carrots, celery, peas, lentils, and one daily multi-vitamin/mineral. Your only beverage is water.

The only treats allowed are a carefully rationed amount of brazil nuts and Honey Nut Cheerios. You can have fourteen brazil nuts per week, with a maximum of seven brazil nuts in one day. You can have three cups of Honey Nut Cheerios per week, with a maximum of two cups of Honey Nut Cheerios in one day.

Someone breaks in and steals your supply of Honey Nut Cheerios and brazil nuts. You change the locks and buy more Honey Nut Cheerios and brazil nuts. This time, the brazil nuts aren't taken, but again your supply of Honey Nut Cheerios is stolen.

If you can still believe in a good, benign god, then your supply of Honey Nut Cheerios is too secure.

[Carni]

1. How true! eom

[Cassandra]

2. Sounds like a vegan version...

of Weight Watchers.

[Boojatta]

4. They can claim that they're just helping people watch their weight,

but they have no right to steal boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios. In a neighborhood where one's boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios are not secure, how can one believe in god?

[Warpy]

3. You described my life to a T, including my diet

but I'm an atheist.

[Boojatta]

5. You say "but" you are an atheist, but I just explained why you are an atheist!

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

6. Well, my husband did live in a bad neighborhood

just before we were married. Many houses were abandoned, and the crack houses were in the next block. After about a month, there was a big fire in the next block, and the crack houses burned down. And he started noticing families moving into the abandoned houses. During his morning meditation, he asked why. The answer he got was he was there doing his spiritual practices. He asked how he could help more. The answer was to get more people to do spiritual practices.

When I came on the scene, every house was occupied. It was a wonderfully diverse neighborhood with blacks, whites, Hispanics, and Vietnamese. Nice place for the year we lived there.

[Boojatta]

7. During any morning meditation, did he ever ask if there's a simple proof of Fermat's Last Theorem?

During his morning meditation, he asked why. The answer he got was he was there doing his spiritual practices.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

10. I don't know

I'll have to ask him.

[Boojatta]

8. You know, abandoned houses and crack houses can create problems in a neighborhood...

but you'd be surprised how unpleasant it can be to live in an otherwise good neighborhood if you live in an apartment building with paper-thin walls and your neighbor is frequently moaning about his kidney stones.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

11. That's when you either tell him

to stop drinking soda pop that gives him the stones or you put on drumming CDs to listen to so he can keep his mind off his troubles.

[Evoman]

9. Nice try at a copy cat.

Lame, but nice try.

[Boojatta]

12. Will you consider interesting trades when renting your sig line space?

[Evoman]

13. I trade only in cold, hard cash and sheep.

Although I will consider a three-toed sloth/whipped cream combination.

[Boojatta]

14. "I will consider a three-toed sloth/whipped cream combination"

Why not buy the whipped cream yourself?

[zonmoy]

15. I live in low income housing and am a maltheist.

does that sound good enough for you.