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Can someone explain, in a nutsell, why I should be afraid of bananas?

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northernsoul Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 11:48 AM
Original message
Can someone explain, in a nutsell, why I should be afraid of bananas?
What's the Readers' Digest version of the argument that bananas prove creationism? I (luckily) haven't been subjected to it yet, but I'm sure that now that no less of a scientific authority than Kirk Cameron has trotted it out, I'm be hearing it all the time.
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jilln Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 11:49 AM
Response to Original message
1. something about how it's the perfect food in the perfect package
Edited on Fri May-11-07 11:51 AM by jilln
so it must have been invented by God.

There's a pamphlet about it.

Here ya go, there's a video about it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zwbhAXe5yk
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 11:51 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. Weird. n/t
.
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northernsoul Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 11:55 AM
Response to Reply #1
5. Funny, I think bacon-wrapped filet mignon was the perfect food in the perfect package
But I guess Kirk prefers bananas. Oh well, his loss.
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jilln Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 11:55 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. Yeah, if you're a heart surgeon.
:-P
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wildhorses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 12:00 PM
Response to Reply #1
7. looks like it proves evolution to me :shrug:
that guys sure looks like a monkey to me :P
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Recursion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 12:07 PM
Response to Reply #1
9. And the joke is... it *didn't* evolve naturally
Bananas, like corn, have been very deliberately and carefully bred by humans for centuries, with the result that they are nearly unrecognizable from their natural state.
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immoderate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-13-07 11:05 AM
Response to Reply #9
29. Here's a picture of a wild banana.
Profuse seeds, and dry pulp. Cameron is an idiot.



--IMM
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northernsoul Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-13-07 11:32 AM
Response to Reply #29
30. Yeah, that looks a little different from what Chiquita's been selling us.
Thanks for the information.
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trotsky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-14-07 10:05 AM
Response to Reply #29
32. Perfectly designed by Gawd...
to be almost inedible by humans. Way to go, Ray!
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klyon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 12:27 PM
Response to Reply #1
12. I support bananas
and pot/hemp is the perfect plant
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SheilaT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 11:51 AM
Response to Original message
3. There's an absolutely hilarious video
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-44720045961472...

You will fall down laughing at the ignorance.
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EstimatedProphet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 01:26 PM
Response to Reply #3
20. The guy never explains why turkey drumsticks don't have more grooves on one side
Wouldn't that make it easier to pull off the skin?
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Gidney N Cloyd Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 11:52 AM
Response to Original message
4. Only a god could have created >
> a fruit so perfectly suited to, and essential for, motion picture silent comedy 6,000 years before the medium even existed.
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jilln Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 12:16 PM
Response to Reply #4
11. Excellent point.
Without God, what would we use to slip on?
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orleans Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 12:02 PM
Response to Original message
8. it's god calling--AND THE PHONE'S FOR YOU!
it's the banana phone!
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northernsoul Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 12:09 PM
Response to Reply #8
10. dammit, I sliced up my phone and put it on my breakfast ceral again!
:evilgrin:
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windy252 Donating Member (742 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 04:31 PM
Response to Reply #8
22. Are those real? I want one. n/t
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bowens43 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 12:29 PM
Response to Original message
13. This isn't as ridculous as the 'Peanut Butter' argument.
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Goblinmonger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 12:46 PM
Response to Reply #13
14. Every time I open a jar of peanut butter
my sphincter tingles in anticipation of hopefully finding a new life form.

What asshats.
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FloridaJudy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-12-07 12:33 PM
Response to Reply #14
27. I once opened a jar of peanut butter like that
Some problem with quality control in the factory...
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bananas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 12:55 PM
Response to Original message
15. I am not a creationist!
:popcorn: :beer:
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northernsoul Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 12:58 PM
Response to Reply #15
17. Nevertheless, I shall fear you!
Pass the :beer:
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The Backlash Cometh Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 12:56 PM
Response to Original message
16. Ever open up a banana to find a banana worm?
Oh, the things I wish I could forget.
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cosmik debris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 01:01 PM
Response to Original message
18. Bananas are perfect sex toys as well.
I believe that proves that god is a woman. Or possibly into more sexual opportunities than we might have previously imagined. :)
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EstimatedProphet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 01:23 PM
Response to Original message
19. They're high in sugar and carbohydrates.
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cosmik debris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 05:23 PM
Response to Reply #19
23. They are also radioactive
With traces of Potassium-40.
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BurtWorm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 01:33 PM
Response to Original message
21. Your girlfriend's been seeing one behind your back?
:hide:
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cain_7777 Donating Member (417 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 05:39 PM
Response to Original message
24. Voltaire made the best of all possible worlds argument irrelevant with Candide
Maybe these asshats should read something other than the bible
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Silent3 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-11-07 07:13 PM
Response to Original message
25. Defending Yourself against Fresh Fruit
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Jim__ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-12-07 12:30 PM
Response to Original message
26. Because they use the banana to teach this nonsense to their children.
And, if they get their way, they'll be using it in public school classrooms to teach it to all the children. And, after they've converted the entire nation to morons, we won't be able to compete in the world.

Of course, that's not really a reason to be afraid of the banana. But, it is a reason to be afraid.

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Donald Ian Rankin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-12-07 04:16 PM
Response to Original message
28. Because bananas will eat you when they hatch.
It is a little-known fact that the banana is not, in fact, a fruit. Rather, it is the pupal stage of an alien lifeform, sent to earth to destabilise it ready for colonisation by a second, larger alien species.

The thing that shot John Kennedy from behind the grassy gnoll hatched from a banana.
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Meshuga Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-14-07 07:19 AM
Response to Original message
31. Porn stars are theists
Edited on Mon May-14-07 07:20 AM by MrWiggles
God's existence has been proven in porn many times when bananas were used. The person "receiving" the banana will exclaim, "Oh, God!" So that might be the best way to have a banana prove God's existence. However, there is a chance the porn star might be faking it for the cameras.

Ok, I'm sure someone else beat me to the banana/sex thing but I am covering it just in case since I didn't bother to read the other posts.
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jgraz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-15-07 01:58 AM
Response to Original message
33. They prove that nothing as stupid as Kirk Cameron could've evolved by chance
Seriously, that dude can only feed and dress himself with God's help.
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