http://www.faulkingtruth.com/Articles/CommentaryToo/1015.htmlWithout Feathers
By Mark Faulk
How do you tell the difference between a Presidential election and a cockfight?
On Nov. 2, I posted an article entitled "Politicians Gone Wild"
( www.faulkingtruth.com/Articles/Commentary/1018.html ). This is an excerpt from that article: "This election has been waged like a Spring Break mud-wrestling contest. And unfortunately, the only way we could compete was to put on our thongs, oil up our bodies, leap headfirst into the muck, and start pulling hair. As a result, a lot of people, both Democrats AND Republicans, were forced to lower ourselves to the level of....God forgive us.....the politicians."
Let me make one thing perfectly clear: I was kidding. In reality, I CAN tell the difference between the Presidential election and a Spring Break mud wrestling contest. In fact, I would bet real money (as opposed to Monopoly money) that ANYONE could tell the difference between the Presidential candidates and 21-year old girls in thongs covered in oil and/or mud.
However, it looks like the Tulsa World is not nearly as astute as most of us are. Just yesterday, we posted an article about the unusual Presidential election results that they printed in the November 3 addition of their, uhhhh...."news"paper, entitled "Tulsa World on Oklahoma Vote Totals: We Have No Idea"
( www.faulkingtruth.com/Articles/Commentary/1022.html ). The totals that they printed seemed to have absolutely no connection to the actual numbers that were later confirmed by the Oklahoma State Election Board. In fact, Kerry actually appeared to LOSE votes in 57 counties, while Bush gained massive amounts of votes.
The Oklahoma Independent Media Center said it like this, "Voting Machines Count Backwards in Okla". Somehow, that didn't seem likely in this particular case. Here is an excerpt from our article:
"I'm as skeptical as the next guy (provided the next guy isn't a neocon) about our current system of voting, especially when the votes are tallied by EE&S Corp (as they are in Oklahoma), who have clear ties to numerous ultra-right individuals and organizations, and have already been implicated in several other voter fraud investigations. But let's be honest about this - why would anyone waste their time rigging the election in a state that Kerry didn't even bother to campaign in, and that Oklahoma Democratic Party officials conceded to Bush without even a semblance of a fight?"
As it turns out, the reason that the Tulsa World's totals seemed to have no connection to the actual numbers in the election is simple: they had no connection to the actual numbers in the election. It seems that they can't tell the difference between our Presidential election and a cockfight. Sure, they're both dirty, bloody, and a fight to the death, and lots of money is bet on both sides, but that's where the comparison ends. But guess what? The Tulsa World somehow (and I can hardly wait to hear this explanation) printed the results from the 2002 measure to ban cockfighting in Oklahoma instead of the Presidential election totals. How did that happen? I have absolutely no idea. A representative at the Tulsa World told me that he thought that they were working on a story to "explain" the screw-up, and I'm guessing someone is cleaning out their desk as we speak.
We have enough of an image problem here in the Heartland as it is. Our state is perceived by outsaiders as backward, conservative, and not too bright. For the most part, "Okies" are the nicest, most caring people you will ever meet, and (almost) all of us know the difference between our Presidential candidates and two roosters fighting to the death. It's a no brainer - the Presidential candidates are the ones without feathers.
Editor's note: Thanks to whoever goes by the name of "k8conant" on the www.democraticunderground.com website for having the intelligence to do a google search on the vote totals printed by the Tulsa World, and coming up with the coskfighting connection. Nicely done. And thanks also to Bob Chen, who emailed me the link to that site. Our readers keep us informed, so we can help keep you informed.
Here is the link to the Tulsa World vote totals released as the Presidential results on Nov. 3:
http://www.tulsaworld.com/TWPDFs/2004/Final/A_10_11_3_2004.pdfAnd here are the vote totals for the 2002 cockfighting ban initiative (scroll down to page 4):
http://www.state.ok.us/~elections/02sq.pdf"It's all over but the counting, and we'll take care of the counting".
Before everyone breaths a collective sigh of relief thinking that this election was "fair and balanced" after all, take a look at this ten second video that was sent to me by Janie Angus (another reader), along with this note: "Nancy Pelosi's daughter Alexandra filmed this in the summer of 2003 at the White House BBQ." (I'm still in shock over this one):
http://www.whatreallyhappened.com/IMAGES/peterking.mov
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