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Repukes want a Voter ID? How about a VOTE-COUNTER ID?

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TruthIsAll Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-05 10:59 PM
Original message
Repukes want a Voter ID? How about a VOTE-COUNTER ID?
Edited on Sat Jan-29-05 11:28 PM by TruthIsAll
It's another Repuke gimmick.
HAVA drink on me.
When will those technically-challenged Democrats ever learn?

After all, it's NOT who votes.
It's who COUNTS the votes.
Stalin said it.
Peter King (Rep-NY) said it also.
We all know WHO counts the votes in every election.

Democrats, listen up.
Here is how they do it:

STEP 1: Keep as many legal felons and other dark-skinned immigrants off the voter rolls. The darker the skin, the more likely it is they will vote democratic.

But that won't be enough, so...

STEP 2: Register democrats and then throw away the forms.
That will help somewhat, but just in case...

STEP 3: Raise the terror alert level in the democratic precincts. Explain why the polling areas may be restricted. Show concern for voter safety. Saving lives is more important than voting.

STEP 4: Make sure there aren't enough voting machines - in democratic minority precincts, especially.
That will help a lot to keep the vote down, but...

STEP 5: Have the punched card machines spoil the votes.
That still won't yield enough votes, so...

STEP 6: Program to capture the E-votes by default, if there is a problem with the machine.
If that's still not enough, then...

STEP 7: Program the machines to switch every n'th vote.
If you still need more, then...

STEP 8: Tabulate the votes at the control center.
That should do it, but...

STEP 9: If there is any hint of a recount, let the SOS set the rules.
And while all this is going on...

STEP 10: Make sure the Exit Polls are fixed on CNN and FOX to agree with the votes.
But if this is still not enough..

STEP 11: Make sure that the MEDIA disses the original exit polls as long as possible; that is, until the NET starts eating into their market share..

STEP 12: If the Media must report on anomalies, then they should refer to them as machine "glitches". NEVER use the word "fraud", unless absolutely necessary, and then ALWAYS call it "voter fraud", not "election fraud".

STEP 13: Blame the voters, especially those who are exit polled.
Democrats make it a point of talking to pollsters, Republicans are reluctant.

STEP 14: Never question the accuracy of the votes.
The problem is ALWAYS the exit polls. The explicit hypothesis, which must never be stated, and NEVER to be questioned, is that the vote counts are correct and the exit polls are wrong.

STEP 15: Major media talking point: Anyone who cites exit polls is a conspiracy freak (see P. Jennings) or a die-hard (see T. Koppel).


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Wilms Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-05 11:03 PM
Response to Original message
1. You found him!!
Thanks TIA. I've been trying to remember 'ol Peter "Vote Counter" King's name.

Now. What's up with ID?
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dweller Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-05 11:06 PM
Response to Original message
2. where does the
Edited on Sat Jan-29-05 11:17 PM by dweller
so called proprietary software written by partisan Republican companies fall on the scale?
hi or lo?


dp
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Wilms Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-05 11:09 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. Oh. I like #3. The 'ol Terrra A-Lert. Big colors.
Edited on Sat Jan-29-05 11:13 PM by Wilms
Orange. Now red.
Look out behind you. (Cut to picture of gloved hand grabbing ballot box.)
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dweller Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-05 11:14 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. we must stop this constant bickering....
j/k

:toast:

dp
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Wilms Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-05 11:21 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. No quarrel here. I only agree that there are more steps.
Remember, * said, "Terrerrist never stop thinking of ways to hurt the American people, and neither do we."
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dweller Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-05 11:32 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. haha, no . . . i meant
that as a joke.
I think while i was editing my original reply, you had responded to it, and then edited yours to my edit.....and then i had to edit mine again to actually respond to TIA's post since he'd by then corrected #3 (which was missing at first...)

"constant bickering" is a punchline from the joke of the monastary that had a rule of silence except for once a year one monk could speak. . . so a monk stands and says "the soups too cold", next year another says " the soups too hot" . . .
next year ..." i can't stand this constant bickering" ...

badaboom...thankyouverymuch...

dp
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Wilms Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-05 11:50 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. That's Great! I'm gonna share that one! n/t
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RockStar Donating Member (184 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 01:14 AM
Response to Original message
8. I agree.
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Hugin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 10:32 AM
Response to Original message
9. Couldn't have said it better myself TIA...
You rant good, my friend.

It's time for me to retire.

;)
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