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waiting Donating Member (208 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-30-10 01:21 PM
Original message
NJ DYFS is the worst of the worst for families
Over 6 months ago, my friend went to a party with her family. She had some wine while she was there. After returning home, she and her 16 year old daughter argued over something. Like any typical 16 year old girl, the daughter went ballistic over her mom taking her cell phone and proceeded to scream in her mom's face and to push her physically while trying to grab her phone back. The mom slapped her daughter's face. Here is where it gets messy. My friend and her husband had been having some marital troubles recently that were not resolved at this point, they had been separated once before but were trying to work things out. Needless to say, that wasn't going well. My friend's husband actually called the police on her and claimed that she had threatened to use a knife on him.
The police came, and all was quiet for a while. You see, I live right behind them and heard and saw much of this going on. Then the police arrested her, because she was not cooperating with their requests to calm down and be quiet. At that point her husband got a restraining order against her and DYFS got involved. She has been made to go to anger management, psychological counseling, and alcohol and drug rehab meetings, all while still be investigated by DYFS for being a threat to her children's safety. I have known this family for a very long time and I know exactly who this woman is and how she is with her children. She is a loving and attentive mother, who bends over backward for her kids, and her community. Her husband has total domination over the finances and her life at this point, and DYFS has taken over her home and her freedom to be in it. She cannot even divorce her husband at this point because she is not allowed in her house full time and would probably lose her kids if she went against her husband's wishes. Her case worker has said that all of her evaluations have come back with her being fit to be with her kids and not a threat to them at all, as well as the fact that she is not an alcoholic or a drug addict. Yet the case worker won't close her case because he said that a divorce is not good for the family and that she and her husband have to go to marriage counseling before he closes it. He also said that she should be being intimate with her husband, which she hasn't been in a long time, understandably. He also told her husband that she was planning to divorce him and kick him out of the house after thDYFS case was resolved, which has put her physically in danger. When she told her case worker that she was going to be informing her Congressman about him and his actions in her case, he said, "Good, go ahead, he's a good friend of mine."
I cannot believe that a woman who has never been in trouble once in her 49 years, could be put through this kind of torture because of one family argument and a lie told by her husband. In New Jersey, if you are a home maker, and your husband accuses you of something illegal, you might as well be a woman living in the dark ages. I have no idea how to help her, as lawyers in N.J. are reluctant to fight DYFS because they are given such power and authority here. She has a lawyer who seems to me to be inept and possibly negligent. Anyone have any suggestions or ideas f how I can help this woman before she loses hat little sanity that she has left?
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New Earth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-20-10 11:26 AM
Response to Original message
1. first of all, none of this will make her lose her kids
and her husband canNOT take them away. Couples always use that excuse against the other and it's completely not true. It is very hard to take kids away entirely from a parent, especially the mother. Even when the mother is an alcoholic or drug addict, they are given many chances until the kids are 'taken away' or given permanent sole custody to the other parent.

I don't know where this DYFS person thinks they have a right to force two parents to go to counseling, who don't want to be together anymore. That is ridiculous. She needs a new lawyer. I have never heard of DYFS forcing parents to do that. Maybe some counseling WITH their child, if all three are having issues with each other and the parents plan to remain together, but not forcing two parents to stay together.

I would say for her to keep doing what DYFS says for now, but she should really find a better lawyer that deals with family matters to fight the counseling if she doesn't want it. That is really ridiculous to me. She needs a better lawyer! DYFS has no authority to force people to not get divorced!
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dem3550 Donating Member (50 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-25-11 07:27 PM
Response to Reply #1
4.  +1
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njcorrupts Donating Member (1 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-19-11 01:29 PM
Response to Original message
2. Supreme Court Rules Against Almighty DYFS
The New Jersey Supreme Court unanimously ruled DYFS was wrong to remove a teenage girl from her home because her father slapped her once, and because he and a stepmother took money from the girls paycheck to help with household bills (article). DYFS lacked sufficient evidence to remove a teenager from her father and stepmothers home in 2008, and dropped the abuse and neglect judgment against her stepmother. The girl was removed from the home after her grandfather reported the parents for taking her earnings from her part-time job and slapping her around. A DYFS worker also found the home was without heat and authorized an emergency removal. The father told a DYFS representative that his wife had slapped his daughter once two years earlier, and that part of his daughters earnings went to the cable bill. The couple said their central heating was broken, and they were using space heaters. The family members were not named in the decision.

I mention this ruling not to debate if parents should be allowed to slap their children, but to question how much power DYFS is given over families. In this case, DYFS had absolutely no reason to step in and remove this child, but they did it anyway and got away with it long enough to destroy the family structure. The almighty and all-knowing DYFS tortures and torments families everyday on taxpayers dollar and is backed by the Stalinist government of New Jersey. Is DYFS so short of cases that they really needed to take a child who was slapped once, two years prior to her removal? Maybe if the personnel at DYFS was capable of protecting our children and worked harder at real complaints of neglect and child abuse, they wouldnt be under such ridicule. DYFS officials such as Joanne Barry from the Bergen County office use and abuse their power day in and day out without anyone questioning them. Scared parents simply give into their demands.

There are some real cases of abuse and neglect of children that really need the attention of a child welfare agency. Having said that, I think it is time that DYFS is investigated by the proper authorities. Lets clean out all these representatives who have nothing better to do than harass parents and ruin lives. As obvious by the 7-0 ruling in the New Jersey Supreme Court, DYFS needs to re-evaluate their definition of abuse and neglect. This case is a clear example of personal bias and overzealous reaction.

Stop DYFS from abusing their power by demanding a full investigation by Gov. Chris Christie: Sign The Petition.

http://www.change.org/petitions/stop-dyfs-from-abusing-...

Taken from: http://realsparano.com/2011/02/supreme-court-rules-almi...
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no_hypocrisy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-24-11 06:53 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. I'm representing a mother whose five children were removed by DYFS
because she home-schooled them, had an untidy house (it was clean, just untidy), and had the windows covered with plastic to keep the home warm.

Right now we're fighting to keep her parental rights from being terminated and her children from being adopted by the foster family.

The children were removed after she called the police to protect her from her husband/their father. (He hit her and the kids and choked her as well.) DYFS only offered cursory, substandard help for her domestic violence problem and went against their own guidelines. (It separated her from her children.)

We intend to take this to the NJ Supreme Court if necessary.
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Mrs R Donating Member (3 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-30-11 03:02 PM
Response to Reply #3
13. DYFS is run by incompetent sociopaths
to say the least ... IMO 
This is an FYI for all of you who have been abused by the
DYFS system. 

A cousin of mine worked for DYFS between the late 1990's and
up until about 3 years ago. I cannot release her name. She
was a high school teacher prior to working for DYFS. She was
fired for having sex with several high school seniors (male)
students (in her classes) who had already reached their 18th
birthday and who were quiet or depressed and low in the
self-esteem area. She picked her victims carefully. She also
carefully selected a profession where she could get away with
sexual abuse. She was never charged b/c she waited until they
turned 18 to have sex with them ... in her home with her son
in the next room, no less. 

She also sexually abused her own son when he was a toddler
and pre schooler. She was never charged with this crime. Her
ex-husband wound up with custody. Her son is now over 21 yrs
old, but he's so emotionally disturbed that he barely speaks.
Only God knows what other things this sicko did to this poor
child ... and yet she was hired by DYFS to go into the homes
of people and manage sensitive cases while making major life
decisions for families. I couldn't believe my ears when she
told me she was working for DYFS. Thankfully, she no longer
works there. She left DYFS a few years ago when she was
eligible to receive her teaching pension (that she didn't
deserve) and when her inheritance came through. 

My point -- they hire anyone who has the proper degree. This
is who is making decisions about your life and that of your
family. They DO NOT do anything to keep families together.
NOTHING. 

FACT: One of the main characteristics of a sociopath
(socio-pathology)  is ... an individual who intentionally
tears apart relationships and families, either directly or
indirectly -- that IS what they do ... amongst other awful
things. Sociopaths purposely seek out jobs where they can get
way with this, such as social worker ... "My word against
your word", abuse of power. Google this search string and
you will see for yourself. You will also see they lack a
conscience, but they appear to be normal everyday people.
But, there is nothing normal about them.  

MY OPINION: DYFS hires sociopaths and sociopaths hire more
sociopaths. Normal people (empaths) cannot work with or work
for sociopaths, so they leave and find a new or different
job/career. DYFS is a very dangerous sociopathic run
organization.  
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Mrs R Donating Member (3 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-30-11 03:27 PM
Response to Reply #3
14. FYI ... heads-up
Please do not take this the wrong way or be insulted. I'm only trying to help. Educate yourself on sociopaths and socio-pathology -- learn everything you can about this disorder -- lack of conscience.

Most sociopaths are NOT serial killers, murderers or rapists, but all serial killers, murderers and rapists are sociopaths ... some are psychopaths... not much difference between the two.

IMO ... When you are up against or dealing with a DYFS case-worker, you are most likely (not always, but quite often) dealing with a sociopath. Do not approach them or the situation as you would with a normal person who is having a hard time understanding the situation. They do not have the ability to help anyone.

You are probably dealing with a sociopath disguised as a Social Worker who is working for a sociopathic organization. These people are a danger to society, yet they are free to roam the streets ... and even to work for DYFS. Research this misunderstood disorder. Some judges are sociopaths as well, which is partly why the legal system re-victimizes victims. Sociopaths work together. They are soulless people without a conscience who (outwardly) appear normal. They seek to destroy that which you love ... even if they temporarily pretend to be "helping". They have zero empathy. Sociopaths don't care about you or your family.

Most sociopaths are NOT serial killers or behind bars. Many do NOT have a criminal record. Don't be mislead or fooled.
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no_hypocrisy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-18-11 07:07 AM
Response to Original message
5. Would anyone please PM me if you know of any abuses by DYFS.
I may need the information for my case.
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tj9259 Donating Member (1 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-05-11 03:35 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. dyfs abuse

hello,

My name is terry. My son was removed 8-3-10 . My daughter called police to say she was afarid of her brother.
the police called DYFS and they removed her that night. In talking with us we explained that our son was medically ill, and was in a great amount of pain due to his medical cond. He has advanced lyme , and all the crap that goes with it. one part of this illness is chronic kidney stones. and he has been hospitalized and under dr's care since he was 9. We told them that he was diagnosed with a kidney stone that day and we had just come from the dr's. where he was prescribed pain meds till the stones passed. His Dr. is head of internal medicine at st. joes in paterson. Well they took him and said he was a drug addict. Sent hin to phoenix house.... a drug rehab. the drug rehab called and said he didnt need to be there why did i send him? Told them dyfs sent him so they called dyfs and said he was misdiagnosed. so instead of returning him they sent him to a group home in newark called grace hall. I called everyday to find out if he was being medically treated.....guess what..............NO. When i went crazy they took him to an ultra sound facility and they located a blockage in his kidney. Did he then get medical treatment..............no. finally they told me the house Dr. was coming to look at the kids in grace hall, eyes, ears nose ...........you get it. The dr. said he was fine..........
Finally on 9-3-10 my 16 yr old son ran away from grace hall.
he is still missing but sent a letter explaining the abuse by case workers supervisors group home employees and other kids . He begged the case worker and her supervisor to take him to the hospital................ guess what .it was labor day weekend. 4 days off for them.....so he got no med help.that was when he decided to run away. He will be 18 very soon and says he will be home the day after his b-day, and the next day he wants to talk to a lawyer.Also they have ripped our home apart 14 times saying we are hiding him here, we have let them in every single time. Guess what.....hes not here. Another family destroyed, and my heart is just being ripped out everyday I cant see my son, I have been completely destroyed by this, as well as the rest of the family. Ilook forward to his return and his holding them responsible
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mominneedofhelp Donating Member (1 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-17-11 07:17 AM
Response to Reply #5
9. DYFS lies
I have had a DYFS case which has been reopened several times. Previously, my husband was ordered to not visit with my children. at the time our son had just been born & he agreed solely to have them close the case. My children are only 4 & 18 months now and after a lot of time, I allowed him to visit the kids. We lost a son to the mistakes of a NJ state hospital in 2004 which we never sued. He was never allowed to meet or see our son and I felt he should be allowed to at least get to know him. Our daughter missed her father terribly and I knew DYFS never intended on strengthening the family as they claim. Their intent was always to separate the family. My husband was arrested with my daughter the one & only time I allowed him to take her out with possession of marijuana. I hid from DYFS to give me some time to hire a lawyer to truly advocate for me. Unfortunately, DYFS found out where I was living. The day they came to visit my home I had to go to the hospital in an emergency situation. My parents were going to pick them up but in the interim my children were left with my roommate until my parents came to pick them up. When DYFS came in, they found no drugs but they found a device my roommate used in his room for smoking marijuana. My children were removed and I have been told that DYFS's complaint that I put my children in danger by letting my husband have unsupervised visit with my daughter and leaving them with an incompetent person. I am not allowed to see them but for 1 hour a week. They have now been placed with the paternal grandparents. In court when asked by the judge & law guardian why I wasn't allowed to have more access to my children DYFS claimed it was by request of the paternal grandparents. I was told by the grandparents that that was untrue. DYFS told them this is how its going to be in order for them to keep the children. I just delivered a child that did not survive. Mentally, emotionally DYFS has traumatized me as a wife & mother. If you could help me or even have a conversation with me, you'll see that I am educated, loving & caring mother. My childrens have never been neglected or abused. DYFS' use of the word danger is unclear & very far reaching. Please if you can help please I need help.
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no_hypocrisy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-28-11 08:47 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. PM me and I'll give you some resources.
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exzotica_1 Donating Member (1 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-30-11 02:28 AM
Response to Reply #9
11. DFYS lies and are corrupt
I had an open DFYS case and when I went to court with them, I couldn't believe all the lies that they said. They lied about the situation and about what was said. I can prove a lot of the lies were lies, but don't know what to do or who to go to. DFYS is corrupt. I wish I knew what to do or who to go to.
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no_hypocrisy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-30-11 09:05 AM
Response to Reply #11
12. Welcome to DU. I have a suggested reference to help you.
Legal Services of New Jersey. Ask for Jaey or Kelly. They do DYFS defense cases for free or affordable rates.

http://www.lsnj.org /


Call 732/572-9100

Do you need a Parent Advocate? If not, PM me and I'll give you a name and number.
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ttloper Donating Member (1 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-11-11 02:48 PM
Response to Original message
6. NJ DYFS
   I have had a similar experience with DYFS.  Short version,
I had taken my daughters cell phone away and told her shed
better not punch anymore holes in the walls or thered be
serious consequences. She punched a hole in the wall when I
went out grocery shopping and called a friend to boohoohoo.
Her friend called the police anonymously asking them to
check on the kids. The kids told the police they were afraid
to be in the house and the officer, without my consent, took
the kids into protective custody. The officer called DYFS
telling them I dragged my daughter up to her room and beat,
kicked and punched her. I was arrested when I got to the
police station. When I gave my version of what happened I was
told they were taking the kids to the ER to determine if
"I" had physicaly injured them. I asked both the
officer and DYFS worker to have the doctor take a look at her
hand because it was most likely injured from punching a hole
in the wall. Of course they didn't and the doctor found no
injuries or signs of abuse. Neither put any reference I made
to the kids being out of control in their reports and DYFS
returned the kids a week later, my daughter with an untreated
fractured hand. (The irony of it is, according to the law on
child abuse and neglect, DYFS was negligent with my daughter
by refusing her needed medical treatment) Instead of treating
us as a family in crisis to get the kids needed counseling and
copping skills for the recent divorce, their main goal was to
substantiate me for abuse and push all kinds of services on
me. They even had enough nerve to tell me, in front of my 12
year old, that I was required to negotiate whether or not
she could sleep at a friends house on a school night. 
   It was at that time I decided Id had enough and would
start recording the conversations. The social worker showed
up at my front door last week with a court order demanding I
now do random drug screening. This was due to my ex-husband's
refusal to take responsibility for his poor choices and is a
confirmed drug addiction (thru DYFS). He told her I was the
one with the problem not him as his excuse for not going
rehab. During our recorded conversation she also stated that
even if the initial DYFS investigators had accurately
reported what occurred the kids would have been taken into
custody anyway and I still would have been substantiated as
an abuser.
   I talked to my attorney who agrees with everything
everyone says about DYFS. It doesnt matter if they break the
law. They have free reign to do whatever they want. He advised
me not to do anything with the recording because it would end
up getting me into more trouble when I go to court for the
fact finding hearing. (NJ law says it is legal to record a
conversation as long as 1 person knows they are being
recorded)
   DYFS has there own reports they take to schools,
hospitals, pediatricians, where ever else they go to
humiliate or violate your privacy. They take the reports with
them and there is no paper trail to validate any of their
misuse of power. From what I recorded my case worker saying,
it was apparent to me that its an acceptable standard of
practice for DYFS to lie in reports to the court as well as
give false testimony. If you ask to see your file their legal
department will only let you read what they deem to be
appropriate and you are not allowed make copies. 
   Recently I read (what pertained to my situation) the
Federal December 2010 rules and regulations that DYFS is
supposed to abide by. However, it turned out to be 255 pages
on procedural rules to follow for federal funding. Could it
be possible they would tear families apart in an effort to
support their fiscal budgets? All I can say to any parent who
finds themselves in a similar situation is there is no hope
for change unless we can ban together and file a class
action.

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no_hypocrisy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-16-11 11:34 AM
Response to Original message
8. "Tell on" DYFS
Contact The Center for the Study of Social Policy and tell them about DYFS abuses. They may open an investigation for your case.

http://www.cssp.org /

NYC: 212/979-2369

DC: 202/371-1565

Write a narrative that includes the name of your caseworker(s), the dates, the times, what exactly happened, what's happening now, etc.
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Mrs R Donating Member (3 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-30-11 04:28 PM
Response to Original message
15. Hope this helps ...
The caseworker is a classic sociopath. The lawyer might very well also be a sociopath. I don't know, but if the lawyer isn't doing his/her job but is taking her money or somehow getting paid for not doing his/her job, then it's quite possible -- sociopaths do not feel guilt or remorse. If so, the lawyer is (secretly) in kahoots with everyone she is fighting against, and if so, a sociopath lawyer has absolutely no concept of "attorney-client confidentiality", nor does the attorney give a darn about the client and her children. Sociopath lawyers care only about money, not people, including children. But, they pretend otherwise.

The only thing a sociopath caseworker is capable of doing is creating more drama and heartbreak. The only thing a sociopathic lawyer is capable of doing is taking other people's money. Period.

She'd be better off driving way out into the boonies, the countryside somewhere, and finding a good, decent lawyer there -- one who is not a sociopath, as many, not all, but many lawyers are sociopaths.

It might cost more money in legal fees, but it will be worth it in the end. If she decides to go this route, it would be best if her current attorney not find out. Sociopaths are highly revengeful. She could just walk away from the attorney with no further contact - just cut him/her off and cut her loses -- no argument, no further contact.

Sociopaths never, ever have anyone's best interest at heart ... they pretend to for as long as they can. To them, everything is a game -- marriage, custody, child-rearing, everything ... even the well being of others ... one big game where they must win at the expense of others, including innocent children.
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