Homesick MA native, here - living in rural CA (Neocon valley)

[Vektor]

I am currently residing in a very red(neck) county in rural Northern CA... I was born in New Bedford, grew up in Westport.
I desperately miss home, and am glad to have found this forum - would love to talk to fellow Bay Staters.
I watched a movie the other night called "Next Stop, Wonderland" filmed in MA. I got pretty choked up seeing all that footage of Boston. I'd really just like to hear about what's going on over there these days, and where other people are from. The last time I was home was two years ago...I don't know if any of you have left your birthplace to go live somewhere else for whatever reason, and found that you never felt like you were "home" again.

I kinda feel that way.

[Cobalt Violet]

1. It's snowing tonight.

I don't think it will be a big storm though. I'm from Boston but live in Framingham. I've always lived and MA and I've never be west of PA.

[Vektor]

4. Thanks!

Glad to get a response. I don't miss driving in the snow, but I miss the look of it. My Aunt and Uncle used to live in Framingham - they moved to Taunton a few years ago. I never really realized how awesome MA was until I'd been gone a few years...now I think about it constantly, and wonder if I will ever live there again.

How did people back there deal with this sham of an election? I imagine it was pretty rough.

[Cobalt Violet]

9. I don't think many people are in the MA forum tonight.

They will trickle in at all times of the night and day. That's just the way the MA forum is. You'll get more response from the people here, just not instantly.

Most of the people I know were and still are very depressed about the election. Bush isn't very popular up here at all.

[Vektor]

12. I would imagine not...

I know MA usually leans quite blue, and definitely does NOT favor the hard-right Republicans. I wish I were there now...I miss being among like-minded people. Bush is quite popular where I am now, and I feel rather uncomfortable around all these rifle toting neoconservatives.

[Nothing Without Hope]

41. "Jesus to Bush: Stop Using Me As a Reference!"

...seen on a bumper sticker in Watertown today. Is that great? I want one too.

Lots of Kerry/Edwards stickers still on cars, lots of really disgusted and angry people. The election was indeed a sham.

[Cobalt Violet]

42. What part of TX are you from?

My bf is a Texan. He has been up here for about 20yrs too.

[Nothing Without Hope]

43. Born & raised in Fort Worth, HS in Odessa, then Austin

I've not actually LIVED in Austin, but my brother moved there and is still there with his family and my parents moved there as well before they died. So many visits there over the years and I came to think of the central Hill Country -- not all that different from Fort Worth -- around Austin as the REAL Texas for me. Didn't like Odessa at all. Funny: I went to the same Permian High School there that is the setting of the successful book and now movie, "Friday Night Lights." All about the high school football obsession, and it was certainly that even long ago when I was there. There really wasn't much else to do, and those boys were gods.

[The Backlash Cometh]

2. I'm not a Bostonian, but, about living in redneck country...

isn't it like stepping back in time? It's a bitch.

[Vektor]

6. It's really a trip...

...and not a pleasant one!! Horrific culture shock.

[The Backlash Cometh]

8. I know. I've lived it for the last ten years. I've had enough.

[Vektor]

22. As have I...

14 years and counting...will the nightmare ever end?!?!

[babylonsister]

3. Hi, Vektor. I'm from

NY but lived in MA-Allston/Revere-in my wayward youth. Met my husband of 23 years in old Cape Cod. I haven't lived 'home' in a long time. I don't think you ever get accustomed to the lack of certain aspects of where you grew up. I wanted to suggest you might want to run this by G.D. or the lounge. More people would see it and you'd get many/more diverse responses.

[Vektor]

7. maybe I'll try that...

I put it in the MA forum, in hopes that maybe someone would live in the general area I used to.

[MADem]

16. My niece just bought a condo in "New Bed-fid"

Haven't gone to see her yet, she's still fixing it up.

[Vektor]

23. I was born there...

...at St. Lukes hospital, grew up in a house on Calumet Street for a number of years.
Aw, man, I do miss it so!

[hyphenate]

5. Hey,

been there, done that. Literally. Except it was So. California I had moved to, not northern.

I lived in SoCal for 15 years+ and came back home in February, 2003. I know exactly what you mean, though. It was a move I was wanting to do for a long time, and glad I did it, though I'm having a difficult time with withstanding the cold. I developed a lot of arthritis and other health problems when I was there, but truthfully, the heat bothered me as much as the cold here!

How long have you been there? Do you have friends or family there? My family members are in California, and I do miss them dearly, but at the same time, I have friends here that are like family in many ways. My mom, sister and niece are in SoCal, and my brother is in Las Vegas. So I'm bicoastal whether I want to admit it or not.

I think that you have to look at why you are there. Are you there because of a job? A relationship? Or just because you thought the change might be good? If it's for a job, you might eventually try to find a position, perhaps even in your current job, where you can go back and forth more often. If it's for a relationship, you can perhaps look at a future time when you could buy a house back here and leave there permanently.

I grew up in Jamaica Plain and Brookline. Right now, I'm living in Worcester, which isn't a bad place to live. I miss some things in Boston itself, but if I really put my mind to it, I can get there without too much trouble. My best friend is in Western Mass, and I visit there often as well. My car is currently out of commission, so I'm grateful to be living someplace where it's relatively easy to get around.

Anyhow, hope I helped a little. Free free to post and I'm sure myself and fellow Massachusettsites will be willing to talk with you.

[Vektor]

10. Thanks for all that - great post...

I actually moved out here with my parents when I was in my teens. (My mom got a great paying job.) I've been here about 14 years. My entire family has migrated to CA, with the exception of one brother - he and his wife and kids live in Warwick, R.I. now.

I met my husband here, in 2000, and we were married pretty quickly after meeting. We have a wonderful relationship - and he has a job that would allow him to live anywhere, as do I, but sadly, his mother is terminally ill, so we will definitely be staying in this area while she is still alive. I have talked with him about the possibility of maybe at least getting a summer house in MA in the future (we both like the weather here, but little else) and maybe getting another place in a better part of CA, or maybe Oregon - somewhere more liberal, but still relatively close to his family and the rest of mine. I know he doesn't necessarily want to live too far from his hometown, but neither do I from mine...so we'll see how that turns out. I am thinking a bi-coastal lifestyle might be in our future someday. I hope so.

[Downtown Hound]

11. Which county are you in?

I live in Humboldt, which is very liberal overall with a few pockets of conservatism thrown in. But yeah, a lot of rural Northern CA is very red. Try moving to Humboldt or Mendocino. They're both northern but ultra liberal.

[Vektor]

14. Get out your violin...

(and your rifle and tin of Copenhagen)

I am in -- *gag* SHASTA County.

[Downtown Hound]

17. Ah, that explains it

I used to go over there for business. Yeah, arch conservative, gag. Boring as hell too. There's absolutely nothing interesting to do. I'm sorry for you. Seriously, give Humboldt some serious thought, particularly Arcata. I'm in Eureka myself, which isn't bad at all, but Arcata is a little hippie haven. Go there for a weekend in the summer, and check out the farmer's market on Saturdays. Just the feeling with all these hippies around shopping and juggling and doing stuff is a blast. It's about a three hour drive from Redding, not too bad. There's lots of great restaurants too, and people are just way cool.

[Vektor]

21. I should do that...

I have been to Eureka only once, but it was pouring rain, and I was only there for a part of an afternoon...I really got to do very little. I do remember hiking down those steep sand dunes to get the ocean, and seeing dread-locked hippies stumbling out from thickets of bushes, bongs in hand. LOVED IT.

Likely, if someone is coming out of a bush at you in Shasta County, they are a sex offender.

Not cool.

[Downtown Hound]

24. Heh, heh

The best bud in the United States is grown here. That alone will ensure you're never bored.

[Vektor]

29. I happen to know..

you aren't lying about that.

[Nothing Without Hope]

13. I'm a native Texas living in Eastern MA for over 20 years

I love the beauty of this place, and the people are varied and interesting as well. No problem finding any kind of ethnic food ingredients or kind of music or favorite used book stores or music or so much else.

It's currently snowing lightly. Tomorrow is supposed to be wild and weird, with "wintry mix" early in the day changing over into rain with rising temps. May rise into the 50's or 60's on Thursday. The ground is white and there's ice around now. Quite cold-feeling now, though the temp won't go below the 20's. It's that moist, icy kind of cold that makes you glad for your warm home and blanket and good company. I'm sipping hot spiced tea as I type this and will be diving under my comforter when I'm done.

I can't write more now, but could perhaps tomorrow. What kinds of things are you most missing? The Red Sox were so miraculous this year, it's a pleasure that hasn't gone away. I actually now own the Red Sox season DVD that Will Pitt recommended as the best one, though I haven't found the right moment to watch it yet.

When I lived in San Diego as a grad student many years ago, I loved it but missed the seasons. At that time, I had never been to the East Coast so didn't know how magnificent and moving REAL seasons can be. In SoCal, sometimes it felt to me like I was getting older but time was standing still somehow. Here you see the changes in the seasons and in nature all around you every day. It's amazing, something I never get enough of.

So now it's cold and nasty outside, but since we're past the winter solstice, there's more sunlight time each day. Just a little, but knowing that makes a difference.

New England is still here, still beautiful. If you ever decide to come back, it will be ready for you.

[Vektor]

18. Thank you!

That was a nice report. I mostly miss Horseneck Beach, which I lived right near, my childhood friends, going to games at Fenway Park with my Dad, REAL steamer clams vs. the pacific hard shelled ones you get out here, going quahogging in the Westport river, OLD BAY SEASONING, as well as coffee syrup and Chocolate Vanilla Cream Pop Tarts, clam fritters, Portuguese sweet bread...

Ok, I am getting hungry.

Often I indulge and order these foods on-line and have them shipped to me, or have friends sent them. For birthdays, my CA dwelling family gets together and we have frozen steamer clams shipped over on dry ice and we have New England style clambakes here...

The natives think us a little odd, and are all confused by the "weird" clams.

[Nothing Without Hope]

25. And now we know what a Californian deems a "weird" clam!

I found California standards of weirdness are not identical with those of Massachusetts!

Some things are especially good in California. Have you had steamed Dungeness crabs? They are bigger and sweeter, with more meat, and easier to get the meat from, than the crabs we usually get on the East Coast. They are very plentiful up around the Half Moon Bay area near San Francisco. Oh man, they are GOOD! In my opinion, at their best even better than lobster.

Fruits and veggies are AMAZING in California. The best, most glorious cherries I've ever tasted in my life were picked by my hands in an orchard in Santa Rosa. (Cherry season is approx June and lasts a couple of weeks. Those cherries we get back here are OK, but nothing like those. Unbelievable.) Overall, with the exception of some special things like the best apples (Honey Crisps are the ultimate), California has the edge with good fresh-grown food. Lots of farm stands outside the cities and good community farmers' markets to seek out.

There are good things in California, different from New England. My recommendation, based on the experience of living for along time in both places as well as other places, is to seek out and glory in the special things that are in each place.

Time to go set up a post in the GD forum and then head for that toasty comforter.

Be well. As I said in my earlier post, New England will be waiting for you when you want it, either to visit or to live in.

[Vektor]

30. Thanks for your posts...

..and yes, we do have glorious produce, wine, and CHEESE out here!
...also, the crabs are good...
I guess I just miss my place of origin...

[Nothing Without Hope]

36. I think part of us is always tied to our place of origin

I haven't lived in Texas in many years -- since I left for college, really --but part of me misses it to this day. When I go back for a rare visit, hearing those special accents and feeling my spirit settle into that old Hill Country in the heart of the state moves me deeply. It will always be in my heart.

I would think that missing New England things would be especially sharp in these winter months and also in early spring. Springs here are the most prolonged and glorious I have seen anywhere in the world so far. The slow secret unfolding at first -- clues you have to look for -- a tightly folded green shoot coming up, an early insect, birds beginning to come back -- and finally the wave after wave of flowers and foliage. My absolute favorite is the lilacs, something I had never really experienced until I lived here. Their fragrance in the soft, fresh spring air is something I would miss if I left, along with a lot of other things. New England has gotten into my heart too.

Now, flowers in Texas are different-- wilder, more dramatically seasonal. But those hills of bluebonnets and Indian Blankets under the liveoaks -- wondrous.

The earth is a beautiful, beautiful place, and the longer I live, themore I see that it is beautiful in unique ways in each place.

But the place were you grow up is always special, as is the group of ceremonies and places and traditions that go with it.

OK this time for sure -- set up that GD post and bed. I hope you will check it out the post, it will be a "reminder" link to a truly amazing letter from a naval officer centrally involved in the relief efforts in Indonesia. It's really worth reading, but I haven't been able to get it noticed by many people. I wish it would get put on the home page. See what you think. The letter is posted in this thread:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...
Talk about far from home! And then there is what happened to the home of the people devasted by these tragedies. They can't go home, either to their dead families or to their destroyed villages. Makes you think.

[Vektor]

38. I remember...

"a tightly folded green shoot coming up"
...peeking up through the mud and snow. My mom used to plant crocus bulbs all over the property, and when that blanket of color would burst forth from the icy, slushy ground, I knew then, spring was on its way! If just I thought hard enough, I could feel the warm summer sun on my shoulders, smell the Coppertone tanning oil, and taste the quintessentially perfect flavor of those golden brown French fries from the snack bar at Baker's Beach. Only a few more months until school got out for summer - FREEDOM!

[Nothing Without Hope]

40. Yeah, the crocuses are amazing

They look so ethereal, but there they go pushing right through the crusted ice and opening up their delicate petals. Almost the first flowers seen here, but spring isn't a short show around New England. Not like, say, Saint Louis, where in my experience one went from icy winter to muddy hot weather with almost no spring at all. No, New England springs go on for MONTHS. It is the most exciting, invigorating time. And you know, having spent time here in earlier seasons, what comes after what in the familiar unfolding pattern of life returning. No wonder those crocuses set you to dreaming on time on the beach!

[hyphenate]

35. .....

"In SoCal, sometimes it felt to me like I was getting older but time was standing still somehow."

You know, I think that's a major part of it. I worked my tail off there for those 15 years, and it just felt like one very, very long endless season that never stopped. It was alarming at the end--and even now--to realize I spent SO many years there with very little to show for it, and just to realize what a gigantic waste of time it was living there.

Now, I can look out the window and literally SEE the seasons changing, a day at a time. Time still tends to blur sometimes, but at least there is a difference as I look out day to day--my mom asks me almost every day "what's it doing there?" and I can pretty much say back to her that it's different almost every day. This past spring, it was almost exhilarating to watch the tree across the street go from bleak and leafless, to a branch of buds start to appear, and each day the buds would get a little bigger and finally start to bloom in a pale "spring" green, and then get bigger leaves until the tree was in full bloom. Then you can see the inexorable change from that to the fall, with the leaves turning color slowly, and then start to fall, heading once again into winter. Amazing how nature is.

I guess I need to get through this winter here now in order to "thicken" my blood enough to call myself a Yankee again most properly.

[Vektor]

37. I got a little

teary reading that...

I too hope to be back there someday, looking back on the wasted years in CA, saying..."well, I had some good times, here and there, but this is HOME."

[Nothing Without Hope]

39. I absolutely LOVED this post. Thank you for it.

Except for occasional blizzards or hurricanes or ice -- and they actually are only occasional -- the weather along the coast near Boston is really quite mild. Coolish in the summer, mild in the winter (compared to the interior of the country or farther north) and absolutely GLORIOUS in the spring and the fall. Every day it is different, like a baby growing. You see new signs and surprises each day, even just taking a walk in a little local park. Especially if there is a pond and a stream there. (Trees are guaranteed.)

I lived in Japan for a year and a half immediately after my 4 years in SoCal, and there I became much more attuned and educated in how to perceive and appreciate the turning of the seasons. When I then went to New England, well, let's just say I don't think I could ever live in a place without seasons again. "Beautiful" and "soul-satisfying" don't begin to express the deep resonance felt.

Funny -- I used to paint pictures long ago before I had left Texas, many of them imaginary landscapes. Guess what? To my surprise, I had been painting New England without knowing it or ever having been there.

I can surely understand homesickness for this place.

[MADem]

15. Mystic River

Very evocative of the whole urban burb scene .... sad film, but it did take me back.

I left MA years ago, as a child dragged halfway round the globe due to a father who just had to serve his country, then later for a job in the mideast, then went military, and was all over hell's half acre until recently. Now I'm back, sort of, but I leave and come back a lot--not for long, anymore, thank heavens.

There's nothing like MA--it is a fine state, a fair state, the Bay State, the hub of the UNIVERSE....and it would be even better without Mitt the Shit!

[Vektor]

19. Maybe some day...

I'll have a place there again too. Mitt the Shit - hahaha....well there is that, but otherwise, great place to be. The only thing I don't like is the harsh winter weather, but I would put up with it to be among culture, and a Democratic majority!

[MADem]

32. Here's how I handle the winter

I LEAVE. Not for long, a few days, a week. Just a couple of quick breaks, it gets me through those dark days. Three days ago I was in MA, now I am in DC, I will be back in MA by FRI. I'm lucky, too, in that I have relatives in Puerto Rico, friends in FL and all over hell's half acre...you know what they say about relatives, they knock on the door, ya can't toss 'em out!

I subscribe to the "Guests are like fish, after three days, they stink" mindset, so I am always leaving while being begged to stay longer. I never do, though, so I am ALWAYS asked back!

[Vektor]

34. You have a great method...

I survive the hellishness of the neocon town I live in by going to San Francisco several times a year - it is only a few hours away, and definitely a lovely break from the monotony up here.

I was looking at a travel magazine recently, which featured a story about Puerto Rican travel. It said if you head inland from the beach about five miles into the middle of San Juan, you can find some of the best mom and pop food joints ever...all sorts of spicy, ethnic island fare..that sounded gooooood.

I've never been there...it must be fun.

[Kathy in Cambridge]

20. I grew up in Cambridge, left for a while and came back

it's in the 30s and snowing, but until the last week we've had a mild winter. It's supposed to be in the 60s here on Thursday. Don't you love the wacky Boston temperature swings?

I travel for work, and I really miss home when I'm away (except when I'm in NYC or San Fran).

Gosh, Westport is gorgeous! Have you been back there recently to the Back Eddy restaurant? I bet it was all farms when you were growing up. It still is, but it's also infested with yuppies now.

I am proud to be from Mass. But I'll take your California weather any day!

On edit: did you have that funny Southeastern Mass accent? like 'cawfee' 'dawg' 'dawter'. It's so different that the Boston accent.

[Nothing Without Hope]

26. Funny how distances can be so relative

Here I am typing this next door to you in Belmont, yet the electronic impulses carrying our messages out to the DU board and back to us went who knows how far and where.

The same series of clouds are passing by us, dropping that fine, soft snow.

Something to ponder, and it's not unpleasant. Every once in a while I am struck by how in some ways the world is not such a big place and people are not such strangers.

Good night.

[Vektor]

33. That helps...

Thank you, and good night to you too.

[Kat45]

45. You're in Belmont?

I'm right next door to you, in Watertown. Hi, neighbor!

[Nothing Without Hope]

47. Yup, in the part of Belmont basically across the street from Watertown

Neighbors indeed!

[Kat45]

51. Cool! I guess we are neighbors!

[Nothing Without Hope]

52. Looks like we are indeed! I find that comforting.

Lately it seems I've been getting more than my usual number of reminders that the world is actually not so unbridgeably huge after all.

[Vektor]

27. I was just back there last summer....

Went to see my old house. My old neighbor who still lives there told me it had recently to a new owner for approx. 1 million.

My parents bought it in 1978 for about 50,000 dollars! They sold it in 1990 for about 200,000 or so...I assume subsequent owners put upgrades in it, but the property was HUGE, and so close to the water.

JESUS. We had so much back then and I never realized it. I took it for granted.

I actually thought Westport looked pretty much the same, except for there are more houses. It was still very tranquil, though. I did not go to the Back Eddy, but went to the Baysider, and Ellie's Place - two of my old favorites, as well as hitting the ice cream stands at Handy Hill and Lees Market.

Going back to see my old house for the first time in 14 years was a rather poignant experience. I wanted to go to the front door and walk in and just go up to my old bedroom. I sat across the street on my neighbor's porch and looked over there and choked back tears. It was so hard to believe it wasn't my home anymore. Even though I'd been gone for so long - just looking at it, it felt like my home. No other place ever has since. When I got back to CA, I asked my Dad who had spent his whole life there, "Dad, why did we leave?" He got real quiet and kind of misty eyed, and said "I don't know."

I look at real estate on-line for Westport almost everyday. MAN, ALIVE the prices have gone up!!!!

[TaleWgnDg]

28. Hey, hi . . .

Greetings from the North Shore

It's been unusually warm this winter, especially, here, along the *watah* . . . and, yes, I am well aware how it feels to live out-of-state and feel homesick. That, even though my family was with me -- wife and my kids. Yup.

Regards, and give em hell in California!

.

[Vektor]

31. I will certianly give em' hell...

...and it was "wicked good" hearing from you!

[merbex]

44. I grew up in Hingham,went to college in Rhode Island

and by some weird twist of fate ended up as a Flight Attendent based in Denver during my 20's

It took living and working out West to realize that "home" was New England

I'm back in Hingham now but the experience of living out West and travelling all over the US has been a great resource to draw upon for someone with a passion for politics, like me.

Al least for me, you can go home again

[Kat45]

46. Hi, Vektor! I can understand you missing MA.

I've always lived here, and I love the mindset around here. It's pretty open and tolerant, free of rednecks and neocons. Though I do envy the weather in CA in the winter: I absolutely HATE the snow and cold, and I get cold so easily--I'm spending a fortune (that I don't have) on heating oil. But despite winters, I do understand your missing this state.

I also saw that movie "Next Stop, Wonderland." I enjoyed it as well.

You're from New Bedford? When I was in high school, my best friend had cousins in New Bedford and one day we went to the beach with them at Horseneck Beach. We were all in the water, not too deep, and I got caught by an undertow. I don't know how to swim or float. Thank God I finally was able to get my bearings and stand up. It was incredibly scary, particularly since no one had noticed me go under!!! Needless to say, I do not have good memories of Horseneck Beach.

[Nothing Without Hope]

48. That can happen at any ocean beach

My brother very nearly drowned when swept out in a strong undertow on a beach in Texas. That's a much tamer part of the ocean than what crashes against New England. But he was pulled out from shore so far and so fast that he had to exert himself almost to the point of unconsiousness to fight the current back to where he could stand and then stagger back to the beach and collapse. He's a very powerful swimmer and an unusually strong, athletic man, or we would have lost him that day.

[Kat45]

50. True. But I think Horseneck is known for its undertow.

I remember hearing that later.

[Nothing Without Hope]

53. Sounds like nightmare material.

That beach should have prominent signs posted, warning about that undertow. I'm very glad you survived, of course, but it would never have happened if you had been warned.

There WERE signs like that at the beach where my brother nearly drowned, but he thought he was such a strong swimmer that he didn't need to be worried about it. Another reminder, as if we needed one, that the ocean is a lot more powerful and unpredictable than we usually think.

[thoughtanarchist]

49. Hey V,

prose snapshots of central MA:

driving your shitbox along rte 495 and having to stick your head out the window in 18 degree temps because you got no wiper fluid and your windshield looks like a stucco wall

------------

morning after a bout of freezing rain. the boughs of the trees are bent over and everything is covered in a glaze of ice that sparkles in the sun

-----------

first few breaking days of spring when you can literally smell the earth.

-----------

autumn colors and the smell of woodsmoke as you take the obligatory trips to the orchards for fresh cider and maple sugar candy for the kiddies.

-----------

February lasting 1000 years and wishing you were in California till April...

-----------

Chowdah is on the menu no matter where you go out to eat. The real stuff too not that stuff that New Yorkers consider chowder.

-----------

and last but not least....

Bumper skiing.

[midnight armadillo]

54. Am I the only one who LIKES the winter?

Really, I keep threatening my wife with moving to Quebec City or Burlington, VT for more of it! I think I just like the contrast with the summer heat. Fall remains my fav. season around here, esp. the end of Sept. thru October. I like the mix of cool air and warm sunshine in those months, along with the apple and pumpkin picking ,etc.

One thing I really like about MA and New England is the general absence of the type of subdivisions built in places like the midwest and CA. I was in Baltimore last fall in a sea of subdivisions, highways, and strip malls. It was hell. I suspect the hilly, forested geography of Mass. hides the development to some extent, although we certainly have our share of McMansions and sprawl, of course. There are some old large homes on Comm Ave in Newton that are quite stately and elegant. I always liked driving to Beantown that way. Still, the old town commons and the like still exist and seem to give many towns a better sense of place than the endless sprawl you can find in the midwest. This is really well observed in VT, where so many towns are nestled into little valleys.