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The Cat, the Bag - and Other Tall Tales

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NanceGreggs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-23-09 07:54 PM
Original message
The Cat, the Bag - and Other Tall Tales
I dont know how long my fellow Democrats are going to keep up the present pretences but Ive decided to come clean. Despite attempting to contain the forlorn feline within the sack, the cat is pretty well out of the bag by now so I say lets just go with it, and tell the truth for once in our America-hatin lives.

President Obama, a.k.a. The Supreme Leader of the Muslin World, is not a US citizen, having been born in ah, yeah, Kenya lets go with that! (He was actually born on another planet, but the citizenry can only take so much truth at one time.)

The Democrats who supported his bid for the presidency were all hypnotized back in 1961 at the same time his birth announcement was planted in a Hawaiian newspaper - paving the way for his illegitimate candidacy and election decades later.

It was a vast conspiracy bent on hatching an impossible plot who knew it would be so successful, and come off without a hitch?

The Democrats (still operating under post-hypnotic suggestion) are now intent on putting The Omnipotent Ones devious plans into action:

Under the clever guise of healthcare reform, older Republicans will be legally euthanized by their family doctors. Once the Old Guard is out of the way, younger GOPers will be dealt with.

Monies now being budgeted for reconstruction of highways and bridges will be surreptitiously circumvented into the coffers of companies under the control of Obama loyalists, who will use the funds to construct prisons to house those who oppose us. These jails will be located underneath shopping malls across the nation, where inmates will be fed scraps left behind in food courts and parking lots thus cleaning up the environment at the same time.

Abortion will become a mandatory annual procedure for all women, whether they are pregnant or not.

Christian schools will be shut down, and their students sent to re-education camps where they will be taught The Gay Agenda to the exclusion of all other subjects.

The wealthy will be taxed at a rate of 99% of their income from all sources, the proceeds of which will be distributed to the laziest citizens like those who have used the fact that there are no jobs available as an excuse to not go out and get one anyway.

Disbelieve me at your peril. The Obamabots have already put their more subtle, albeit devious, plans into operation, to wit:

The TV news media will be forced to forego covering news items of national interest and instead focus on meaningless tripe about celebrity deaths and oh, come on, tell me you havent noticed that ones already in play.

Obama operatives will infiltrate the GOP, posing as advisors and will encourage the powers-that-be to destroy their own party by supporting completely incompetent whack-jobs for higher office. (Surely you didnt think Sarah Palin was an accident?)

In addition, these consultants will advise Republicans to send their most ill-informed, crazed constituents to public meetings, or stage protests while carrying mis-spelled signs, where their rantings will turn off former GOP voters who still have some common sense left. This, in turn, will cause a steady drop in the number of people identifying themselves as Republicans and you cant say that one hasnt worked like a charm.

Its going to be a brave new world, folks the entire citizenry will soon be forced to become Muslins, all guns will be confiscated, drive-through Death Panel franchises will flourish, US troops will be used to wage the War on Christmas at an estimated cost of twenty brazillion dollars over the first five years, the wealthy class will cease to exist, and white folk will eventually be sold into slavery.

So, you still think your neighbors are away on vacation? Yeah, right. Theyve been disappeared, and are probably languishing in a cell under a shopping center Pizza Hut, trying to sustain themselves on snippets of three-day-old pepperoni.

I know whereof I speak. As a three-time Nobel prize recipient with a Ph.D. in every science known to man, a published journalist with a weekly readership of over ten billion people, and an all-around hot babe, I have been tapped by the Obama administration to catapult the propaganda to those of you out there who are willing to believe absolutely anything.

And you know who you are.

Now dont forget to pass this information along to your friends, relatives and co-workers. They probably havent had a completely ridiculous, over-the-top chain email from you in the last twenty minutes and, as we all know, they just cant get enough of this shit.

So don't disappoint what's left of your party; spread the mis-information, regurgitate the lies, and be sure to lay on the insanity with a trowel!
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JeffR Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-23-09 08:01 PM
Response to Original message
1. Thanks for tearing the lid off the giant can of worms this Kenyan has brought us.
:thumbsup:

PS - For others reading, I can vouch for the "hot babe" part. Take everything else with a grain of salt...

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NYC_SKP Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-23-09 08:06 PM
Response to Original message
2. Odd, isn't it, how much more easily lies are spread than truths.
Even when the lies are unbelievable. :eyes:

:patriot:
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Hawkeye-X Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-23-09 08:06 PM
Response to Original message
3. Always happy to k&r your stuff, Nance
Beautiful essay, indeed.
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PatSeg Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-23-09 08:20 PM
Response to Original message
4. I knew it! I knew it!
I hope it isn't too late.

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BrklynLiberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-23-09 08:27 PM
Response to Original message
5. At last!!! Someone has the courage to tell the truth!!!!
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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marew Donating Member (854 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-23-09 08:49 PM
Response to Original message
6. Now that's funny!!! Thanks! n/t
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saltpoint Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-23-09 08:54 PM
Response to Original message
7. I'm especially encouraged by the 'shutting down Christian schools' clause
of the plan.

Can't happen too soon for me.

Quite a good survey of the nutbag fringe of our culture. They're loud and looney and throwing quite a fit outside in the public square at the moment.

Much enjoyed and strongly recommended.

:thumbsup: :hi:
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madamesilverspurs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-23-09 08:57 PM
Response to Original message
8. Nailed it. Again.
And don't we all look forward to the day when you won't HAVE TO write such pieces.
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-23-09 10:20 PM
Response to Original message
9. Ah, my dear Nance!
If you could only hear my laughter!

Perfect!

No.....FUCKING perfect!

You are inspired and in perfect voice!

Blessings on you...and K&R for good measure!


:yourock:
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cliffordu Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-23-09 10:22 PM
Response to Original message
10. K&R. Great read. Glad someone has finally shined the light of day on this....
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DesertFlower Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-23-09 11:55 PM
Response to Original message
11. great post.
K&R
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demwing Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-24-09 12:04 AM
Response to Original message
12. Well at least you didn't spill the beans about
where the (republicans) meat comes from in Mrs Lovett's pies (republicans).

Shhhhhh!

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DCKit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-24-09 12:09 AM
Response to Original message
13. It's good to finally have ALL the questions answered.
I await your further orders.

DCKit, former Ditto/Beckerhead
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SalmonChantedEvening Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-24-09 06:11 AM
Response to Original message
14. More chain mail plz k
I live for these missives!! If not for you and my Nigerian Prince friends, my life would be a well informed one, and I'd have lots of ready cash in my now empty bank account.

You can't have those things and drool as you spell public wrong.

Thank you Nance, give our Jeff a hug wouldya. :D
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quantass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-24-09 07:19 AM
Response to Original message
15. I KNEW IT! I'm mass Spamming this to everyone NOW!!
Never had any reason to mass spam until i FINALLY got the TRUTH...and here it is...Finally!
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Milspec Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-24-09 08:37 AM
Response to Original message
16. Always love your posts
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JeffR Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-24-09 12:45 PM
Response to Original message
17. Kick!
:kick:

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saltpoint Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-24-09 08:16 PM
Response to Original message
18. Here's a kick just in case there's people on this site tonight who
look forward to and value fine writing and sound politics.


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dalaigh lllama Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-24-09 09:38 PM
Response to Original message
19. LOL! Now how long before this appears on some RW loony site
saying, "See! I TOLD you this was their plan!" :rofl:
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