Goodbye, DU - You Betcha!

[NanceGreggs]

Being as I have only been a lurker here and never an offishul member of this board, I have asked NanceGreggs to post my GBCW thread for me:

My RL name is Sarah Palin, and as some of you now know, today I resigned from my governorship of Alaska – because I love Alaska, and Alaskans, and all things Alaskanesque, along with the troops, and Trig, and General MacArthur, and everybody and everything that doesn’t get in my way, or on my last nerve, or can’t be shot and killed from a helicopter.

I have been maligned by you people from the beginning – those of you who don’t understand the weight of responsibility that rests on the shoulders of someone who may come off as a clueless airhead but is actually an honest-to-God, well-endowed woman trying to make her way in the world of politics, which has become a blood-sport and wastes the tax dollars of hard working Alaskans who deserve better, dontcha know, people who actually grasp the idea that Putin’s head is not just a figure of speech but a real threat to those of us who are outside that politics-as-usual thing that people like Katie Couric will never take to her bosom – and speaking of bosoms, I’ve got a pretty good pair and ain’t afraid to say so or show them off when my country is in need of a coupla of good-lookin’ tits wrapped in a coupla thousand-dollar-plus outfits, because it’s all about being who you are, just a regular soccer-hockey-baseball-basketball-whatever-sport-ya-like mom and playin’ it for all its worth.

I have been accused – here and elsewhere – of being an idiotic, ill-informed, unethical, narcissistic trollop, and I am used to the accusations because I have lived with them all my life, and I don’t understand why except that maybe it’s true, but shouldn’t that all be beside the point when my brother-in-law is out to get me back, and now there’s this thing with the house that my husband built with his own two hands in between snow machining and whatever else it is that he does, and doesn’t it count for anything that I went right ahead and used my own children as campaign props, and that Levi has some nerve, what with his drug-addled family and his pulling-out of my daughter’s life after she gave birth instead of pulling out when it would have done me some good.

I know the rumors are flying right now – about criminal investigations, and tax evasion, and embezzlement and God-only-knows-what, because I’ll be damned if I know – which may explain why I can’t articulate what I mean, or why I’m resigning, because I’ve made my position clear already and don’t ask me to repeat it.

I’m just a sweet Wasilla girl who don’t have time to read a newspaper or keep abreast (speaking of breasts – have you seen mine?) of whether a stop-over to refuel in Ireland counts as having been instrumental in pursuing an international agenda that embraces our traditional enemies – like the Irish, fr’instance.

You are no doubt going to be seeing all kinds of nasty stuff about me in the days to come, and if you are stupid enough to believe the facts over what I’ve been telling you for months, well, there ya go. That’s why people like me never get to be all we can be, or achieve all we are capable of doing, because people like you let facts get in the way of just saying, “Hey, what the f*ck, I’d rather have a VP who Tina Fey can impersonate than someone named Joe – who I can wink at and call by his first name – acting responsibly in office.”

In closing, I’d just like to say that you can spare me the don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out comments. I am not interested in what you think of me, or what the voters think of me. I am only interested in what I think of me, and I think I am FANTASTIC. How that attitude alone didn’t catapult me, along with the propaganda, into higher office is beyond me.

I may be down, but I ain’t out. Mark my words, DU.

Note from NanceGreggs: This woman is an idiot. What’s scary is not the FACT that she’s an idiot, but the fact that some people actually never noticed – and were willing to vote for her.

[JeffR]

1. rec #1

perhaps there will be more...

[NYC_SKP]

5. dunno...

maybe...

[JeffR]

6. Ya never know...

Every now and then, a Nance post does manage to make the GP. Fingers crossed...

[JeffR]

7. Ya never know...

Every now and then, a Nance post does manage to make the GP. Fingers crossed...

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. Nance? Is that really you?

Scary shit, sweetie... truly scary...

Ah, outta da park, babe...outta da park!

K&R



Happy Fourth of July, sweetie...

to you and Jeff!

[DontTreadOnMe]

3. lmao!

classic prose!

[BlueMTexpat]

4. Just gave this another rec ... LOL, but shakily.

Thank God that we dodged THIS particular bullet last November!

Your version makes more sense than the speech she actually gave.

Love this especially: "I’m just a sweet Wasilla girl who don’t have time to read a newspaper or keep abreast (speaking of breasts – have you seen mine?) of whether a stop-over to refuel in Ireland counts as having been instrumental in pursuing an international agenda that embraces our traditional enemies – like the Irish, fr’instance."

So now I'm one of those "traditional enemies" ...

[countmyvote4real]

8. At this point it is like shooting fish in a barrel.

Oh, but wait... where did that ambulance come from?

[coyotespaw]

9. Tell Todd to hide M&Ms in her jowls and

she'll feel better in the morning.

[grantcart]

10. What is scary that is that she even had a theoretical possibility of putting her

finger on the nuclear trigger.

[abq e streeter]

59. ahem--I believe you meant nucular

I was about to add the ROFL thingie, and then realized, I'm not sure I can laugh about that. I still can't get over the fact that it was more than a theoretical possibility---57 million people ; a number that will stagger my imagination till the day I die, voted to try to make that possibility a reality( or at least put her in the position to be next in line to do so, beyond McCain, who apparently wasn't quite scary enough by himself).

[butterfly77]

81. And that too me is what is so unbelievable...

that some people were that stupid to vote for her knowing all of these facts about her..

[The Magistrate]

11. That, Ma'am, Is A Thing Of Beauty....

[NanceGreggs]

12. And your reply on one of my threads, sir ...

... is always a source of joy.

[PBS Poll-435]

13. Also.

K&R

[Divine Discontent]

14. Please don't..... Cut & Run, Sarah!

maybe just take a few days away instead of kissing us off permanently? Just think about it and come back in a week or two, and I have a good feeling that upon your return, if you winked a few extra times, threw in a handful 'you betchas', and tossed in a sports analogy here & there to explain to us ignorant liberals why we need to vote GOP-only, that we might chum up to your high couture wrapped breasts & cocky finger pointing!




(I lurve NG!)

[ColbertWatcher]

15. LIES!

Queen Sarah does not right like that!

She rites like this!

Now, I'm leafing!

[FrenchieCat]

16. See, that's what I"m talking about......

shit for brains Governor.

Don't know how how in the world she got there, but I'm glad she's out.

[Raine]

17. This is TERRIFIC!

Love it!

edit: typo

[Beartracks]

18. Oh, THOSE people...

>" What’s scary is not the FACT that she’s an idiot, but the fact that some people actually never noticed – and were willing to vote for her."

Alas, there are people whom I love that were willing to vote for her - presumably because somehow an ill-prepared, aloof, and not-altogether-there Republican is a better choice, to them, than an articulate, thoughtful, responsible Democrat -- simply because they believed the old adage that Republicans are better safeguards of national security, and Democrats are the domain of high taxes.

[bulloney]

25. I know several people who think her interviews with Gibson and Couric were "gotcha" conspiracies

by the media. They think her performance at the VP debate was brilliant because she showed that she plays by HER rules. Yeah, whatever. These people can rationalize anything. If Joe Biden had two kids who dropped out of school, one of which had a child out of wedlock; If Biden had performed the way Palin did at the debate and during the entire campaign, he would have been ripped apart by these same people.

Palin's support comes from religious fundamentalists and men who fantasize going to bed with her.

[DFW]

19. Scarier yet

Some people did notice that she was an idiot, but were willing to vote for her
anyway, because at least she was THEIR idiot.

[zeemike]

20. HA...Nancy Greg as a mouthpiece for Sarah.

you have this weird sense of humor that I just love Nancy.
K&R

[The Wizard]

21. So what's next Sarah:

A spread in Hustler? TV talk show? Running a meth lab? Modeling toilet seats? Alaskan truck stop lap dancing? Inquiring minds want to know.

I guess we won't have Palin to kick around anymore.

[PatSeg]

48. TV, I'm sure

Being governor is too much like work and she doesn't get the attention she craves there. She has been keeping herself in the media for good reason. I expect to see her as a regular on FOX within the year - where no one will criticize her or ask her any of those damn "gotcha questions".

[abq e streeter]

22. Only a few voted for her---about 57 million....WHAT? 57 Million? Holy shit!

If that don't scare the livin daylghts out of everyone with a functioning brain, I don't think anything can...

[Misskittycat]

23. Also both scary and ridiculous: how so many pundits and news folk

yesterday talked seriously about her being a presidential candidate in 2012. Why not discuss how many electoral votes Mickey Mouse could garner or how Bozo the Clown's presidential fundraising efforts might be hampered by such a resignation of a governorship? What in the world is the matter with these people?

[abq e streeter]

60. Yup, a semi-literate, buffoon of a governor could never-----oops....

What's wrong with em is what's wrong with 10's of millions of similarly semi-literate buffoons who listen to em.... The pundits and what you very charitably refer to as news folk ( I don't think I could have been so kind ) could convince 50-60 million people to vote for a stinking pile of dogshit to be their president ( and as evidence, I submit the fact that they already have, more than once ; first in 1980, and the last one in 2004)

[SalmonChantedEvening]

24. A perfect start to my 4th of July

Just brilliant Nance! Thank you!!

[Mira]

26. You hit her stride so well....after a bit I thought I WAS reading Sarah's drivel.

A great laugh to start out my holiday.
Now let's imagine a Vice President polling the family if maybe he/she should resign....and realize again that we dodged a couple of huge bullets with Geezer and Dingbat.
BTW - beautiful photo - I love seeing it and you.

[liberal N proud]

27. The fact that some people actually never noticed

That is the scary part.

There are lots of idiots in this world, most never get past conversations with acquaintance, somehow the right wing dug this thing up from the deep woods and played on America's stupid. We are talking about the same stupid people who voted for bu$h not once but twice.

[Cha]

28. Yeah, yeah, palin...unfortunately,

I don't think you're gone..just bailin' on your job 'cause because the moose shit is about to hit the fan.

Eternal victim, sarah palin. She finally got to give her concession speech that mccain wouldn't let her give when the 2008 elections were OVER.

[conscious evolution]

41. Bailin' palin

That has a nice ring to it.

Great rant Sar...I mean Nance.

[Milspec]

29. Another classic Nance

Love your posts

[americanmutt]

30. Make my day....

I don't comment much, but this is the greatest day and the best pre- birthday,(7-11) gift i have ever had!!

[Hutzpa]

31. My God Nance, I didn't know you speak Palinese

[Enthusiast]

66. +1, Hutzpa

[Buzz Clik]

32. Don't le the door hit you in the ass, Sarah.

I may be down, but I ain’t out.

Listen, while you're down there....

[Celtic Merlin]

35. I actually HOPE that the door doesn't hit her ass...

That thing would knock the poor damn door clean offa its hinges!

Celtic Merlin
Carlinist

[Buzz Clik]

37. Yeah, she's a bit chunky.

She claims to have completed a marathon in 4 hours. Not with that body.

[frogcycle]

72. a marathon WHAT?

resignation speech?

[merh]

33. damn, if I knew you could channel Bailin' Palin like that

I'd have asked you to contact some folks for me who have crossed over.

Do you think you can get me the lotto numbers the next time you change planes?


K&R Happy 4th

[Celtic Merlin]

34. Bye, Sarah! Maybe NanceGreggs can post for you about what it's like in

...the Alaska state penitentiary. I hope so, 'cause she writes so darn good, doncha know. And we here at DU aren't gonna wanna hear from ya again until after ya make it to the cellblock.

And Sarah...nobody is gonna appreciate yer tits like the inmates will. Look forward to it, babe. Yer gonna LOVE it!

Celtic Merlin
Carlinist

[TankLV]

36. Palin is an IDIOT, indeed. As my sister has said - she is an EMBARASSMENT to Women everywhere

and the hard work Women have done to achieve over the past forty/fifty years in spite of all the obstacles...

just one fucking bit tits beauty queen dumb as rocks EMBARASSMENT...

[OwnedByFerrets]

38. You've been on a roll Nance!!!! K&R

[indepat]

39. That Sarah is an idiot would seem indisputable, but even Nance couldn't help but notice

those endowments.

[Jackpine Radical]

40. Greatest line of the week:

"that Levi has some nerve, what with his drug-addled family and his pulling-out of my daughter’s life after she gave birth instead of pulling out when it would have done me some good."

[bertman]

42. Hilarious!! and spot on.

Recommend.

[Butch350]

43. C'mon, this piece is too articulate to be from Fmr Gov. Palin.

[Chipper Chat]

44. Laughing, laughing! Thanx for the July 4th perk Nance. Spot-on Sarah.

When are you going to rev up that talent and start writing political novels?
John Grisham - move over.
Dontcha know.

[lunatica]

45. Oh Nance, everyone knows Sarah doesn't use punctuation!

She would have spoken that as a run-on sentence! So I read it that way and it was great!

[Flying Dream Blues]

46. Way to go, Nance, you nailed her, you betcha! nt

[MiniMe]

47. Sorry Nance, I don't believe it. It is intelligible and makes sense

There is No Way that Sarah wrote that. (please notice the incorrect capitalization)

[goclark]

49. Palin lived in a village and all the other idiots

in the village voted for her in 2008.

[goclark]

50. Palin lived in a village and all the other idiots

in the village voted for her in 2008.

[Iggo]

51. Beautiful.

[Zambero]

52. Capturing the very essence

of the self-absorbed nothingness that defines Sarah Palin.

[WestSeattle2]

53. What totally baffles me, is that the woman has a B.S.

degree in Communications-Journalism from the University of Idaho. This does raise a few questions. Is she indicative of all Communications majors? Does her total lack of ability to clearly articulate anything, speak to the quality of education at the University of Idaho? What, exactly, constitutes "communications" at the University of Idaho? Since Sarah is not able to write or speak in grammatically correct sentences, which in my mind forms the foundation of all communication, is there proof that she ever really attended classes? What are the odds that Sarah never attended any Communications classes, rather, she earned her degree the old-fashioned way? Are there professors at the University of Idaho who harbor very fond memories of Ms. Palin? As always, this woman generates more troubling questions than answers.

[sofa king]

54. Windows Hit Palin's Arse on Way Out Door

At least, that's what I'm thinking. Here's my ace photo-sleuthing:

[bora13]

55. The people I thought I knew...

Before the '08 election with all the furor over Palin and what does a VP do every day, I started getting emails from people I had known for years, but never new what kind of ideology they supported. The emails were all about how Obama was a terrorist and vote for McCain/Palin because they were the only choice for America, etc. I did reply with appropriate debunking facts, but they felt so strongly about these snippets and talking points that they would not sway. Turns out I cut any ties I had with these people and am happier to know that I won't end up talking to these people at a get together and suddenly find myself "trapped" in a circle of Palin freaks.

I bet they are still raving about the golly-gee palin u-betcha get back to you on that wicked witch of the north to this very day.

good bye to you freaks who came out in small throngs to support the jumpin jesus nail them to a cross if they don't go through with the exorcism palin bot.

[WestSeattle2]

56. So how do you really feel about her?.....lol

[Strong Atheist]

64. Welcome to DU!

[National Steel 27]

57. Oh, yeah.....

Great pic, too.

I still have mine.

Still driving, too.

[Danascot]

58. I call fake

WAY too coherent.

(But very funny anyway, ya know, Thanks Nance, also)

[BlooInBloo]

61. This thread is worthless without pics.

*wink*

[JVS]

62. +1

[immoderate]

63. Much appreciated.

--imm

[BobTheSubgenius]

65. I do love pastiche.

Nice!

[swilton]

67. What is the scariest

part of the Sarah Palin episode is that many people in the US would still vote for her. Never over estimate the intelligence of the American public. (voting for George Bush @ 2; belief in creationism; doubts about global warming, support for perpetual war(s) on terrorism). The march of folly continues.

[Enthusiast]

68. K&R

"Error: You've already recommended that thread."

[cwydro]

69. Lol!

Very good!

[marmar]

70. Another classic piece of written bliss from Nance.......

K&R !!!!

[awoke_in_2003]

71. went to a comedy club in Nashville...

while visiting my father. A comedianne (Amy something) brought up how stupid Palin is (which got mild boos). She then brought up a good point- whenever an attractive woman sounds stupid on stage, there will always be guys around saying "Come on, she did a good job".

[TheCowsCameHome]

73. Ten thumbs up...or is it two, or whatever ya call it. Bra-vo!

[jmondine]

74. Nance, you are 50 times the woman Palin is

I would choose you over her in a heartbeat. Hypothetically, of course.

[NanceGreggs]

75. Thanks so much, jmondine ...

After reading your reply, I did a mental inventory - and realized that I don't personally know a woman who isn't 50 times the woman Palin is.

That says a lot about my women friends - it says even more about Palin, and the women like her.

[Divine Discontent]

85. ha! came back to see if You made more comments & You did, that mental inventory line is priceless

and, Palin would do herself justice if she paid You to write her book, Nance - there's no way she can do this book on her own, and since she's going to pay a real writer - why not You - heck, You at least would give her a sense of humor! And the only similarity to You I can find as a person is that she also is a breathing human (I think... I wouldn't bet my life on it, however) - and she simply doesn't have the brain or warm and wisdom filled soul You possess.

Kick again for others to read your OP who missed it due to the holiday. PS - me & bro are good. His treatments are helpful even though the neuro probs are always there, and today was a great day getting to share the day with him.

oh, and

[sarcasmo]

76. Did the Fox Propaganda Network offer you a fat contract you couldn't refuse?

[jotsy]

77. It may as well be St. Patty's Day, cuz I'm so green....with envy.

Your writing it seems, is well rooted in the philosophy that laughter is the best medicine in these trying times.

[kevsters]

78. Check out this hilarious clip...

I came across this clip where Hannity and Palin talk about how great socialism is, but they are too ignorant to know what they are actually saying.

From the date stamp, this was only a couple of weeks ago. Gosh they are morons.

This is hilarious.

http://progressnotcongress.org/?p=2025

[Dystopian]

79. KandR!

Awesome!
Thank you!


peace~

[mzmolly]

80. Nance

you rocked it again.

[Kurovski]

82. Don't do that!!!

The title scared the hell out of me.

I can't wait for Sarah Barracuda's return. I'm not worried about her winning anything, as it will take her at least two years to just get the gist of sentence construction, let alone the concept of a paragraph. (If ever.)

[Tindalos]

83. Heh!

You have her to a tee, which is scary in itself but not as scary as knowing that there are people who would still vote for her today.

[George II]

84. "What’s scary is ..................

...........not the FACT that she’s an idiot, but the fact that some people actually never noticed – and were willing to vote for her."

Well, in fact, only about 125,000 Alaskans voted for her in the governor's election. From that, McCain (another dolt, if you ask me) figured she's a "governor" and decided to pick her for some unknown reason as his running mate.

Scary, isn't it???

[mentalslavery]

86. Nance, I'll c u in court!

How dare you attempt to soil palins image