Soon to be former Gov Palin "calls an audible" "passes the ball" and "swings for the fences"

[grantcart]

Wounded soldiers taught me to quit my office and not fulfill my oath of office

This (only slightly rephrased) and other lessons from the fractured mind of a sick woman.



Swinging for the fences Governor Palin passes the ball and breaks the record book with an impressive 34 (you betcha! 34) idiotic statements all crammed into a single press conference. It was an extra ordinary achievement in dissassembling in front of a national audience. It was laced with all kinds of completely mindless statments.

It included enough non sequitors to fill an entire campaign. The principal thrust of the non sequitors was that her action made sense because it was "not politics as usual". By that same use of logic conducting business in the governor's office in the nude would be as intelligent as resigning in the middle of the term that you took the oath of office for.

The principle 'reason' that was offered, and reason here being in its most tortured incarnation, was that continuing as a lame duck public official was simply a waste of tax payer money. Of course if that were true it would mean that she would be against term limits and would have to endorse removing the 22nd Ammendment.

It was absolutely shameless and insulting. She used her children repeatedly as props for quiting, just as she did in using them for her political ambitions.

The absolute low point however was when she asserted that her visiting with wounded military personnel she learned by their dedication and refusal to quit that she should immediately quit public office and not fill out the term for which she took the oath of office.


Full video and text: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/03/sarah-palin-re...

Here is how they break down:

Non Sequitor (1)(6)(8)(10)(12)(16)(18)(20)(30)(31)(32)(33)
Strawman (13)(14)(15)(21)(27)
Amateur Observations (2)(4)(23)
Idiotic Statements (3)(5)(9)(17)(22)(29)(34)
Outright Fabrication (7)(11)
Felonious use of an Analogy (19)
Gratuitous use of children (24)(25)(26)
Gratuitous use of military personnel (28)




1)People who know me know that besides faith and family, nothing's more important to me than our beloved Alaska. Serving her people is the greatest honor I could imagine.

(Obviously if that were true she wouldn't be resigning from the greatest honor she could imagine. Her imaginiation is taking her to higher honors in raking in money and running for greater offices)


2) But you don't hear much of the good stuff in the press anymore, do you?

(Reminds you of the Student Body President complaining that the school newspaper didn't appreciate the Prom DJ.)

3) Some say things changed for me on August 29th last year - the day John McCain tapped me to be his running-mate - I say others changed.

(Others changed? What the hell does that even mean?)

4) Political operatives descended on Alaska last August, digging for dirt. The ethics law I championed became their weapon of choice.

(Those damned ethics laws can be so inconvenient)

5) Over the past nine months I've been accused of all sorts of frivolous ethics violations - such as holding a fish in a photograph, . . . and answering reporters' questions.

(Yes the people seriously were concerned about you holding a fish and answering questions)

6) It's pretty insane - my staff and I spend most of our day dealing with THIS instead of progressing our state now. I know I promised no more "politics as usual," but THIS isn't what anyone had in mind for ALASKA.

(This actually is what "politics as usual" looks like when its played by 6th graders.)

7) I choose NOT to tear down and waste precious time; but to build UP this state and our country, and her industrious, generous, patriotic, free people!

(All you did during the campaign was to try and tear down people. Firing the head of the State Troopers for not getting involved in you family business was 100% not building people up)

8) Life is too short to compromise time and resources... it may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep your head down, plod along, and appease those who demand: "Sit down and shut up", but that's the worthless, easy path; that's a quitter's way out.

(Actually quitting is the quitter's way out and that is what you just did)

9) only dead fish "go with the flow".

(Actually everything that is carried in the water "goes with the flow")

10) And there is such a need to BUILD up and FIGHT for our state and our country. I choose to FIGHT for it! And I'll work hard for others who still believe in free enterprise and smaller government; strong national security for our country and support for our troops; energy independence; and for those who will protect freedom and equality and LIFE...

(Quitting as Governor is not choosing to 'fight for it')

11) I WILL support others who seek to serve, in or out of office, for the RIGHT reasons, and I don't care what party they're in or no party at all. Inside Alaska - or Outside Alaska.

(Your actions have shown you to be the most partisan of hacks, performing for people in your party is your only reason for existence in politics.)

12) But I won't do it from the Governor's desk.

(You will 'fight' but 'fighting' for noble objectives from the Governor's desk has somehow become unseemly. How come it wasn't unseemly when you took the oath of office.)

13) I've never believed that I, nor anyone else, needs a title to do this - to make a difference... to HELP people. So I choose, for my State and my family, more "freedom" to progress, all the way around... so that Alaska may progress... I will not seek re-election as Governor.

(Actually being Governor entails significant constitutional authority beyond having a "title")

14) I thought about how much fun some governors have as lame ducks... travel around the state, to the Lower 48 (maybe), overseas on international trade - as so many politicians do.

(Obviously simply because some governors waste their time as 'lame ducks' it doesn't follow that all lame duck Governors make no contribution.)

15) And then I thought - that's what's wrong - many just accept that lame duck status, hit the road, draw the paycheck, and "milk it". I'm not putting Alaska through that - I promised efficiencies and effectiveness! ? That's not how I am wired. I am not wired to operate under the same old "politics as usual." I promised that four years ago - and I meant it.

(Again an incredibly idiotic 'false choice' strawman. Just because others 'milk it' does not follow that a lame duck governor cannot fulfill their constitutional duties. This statement, if it had any reason to it, would be an argument against term limits, one your right wing friends' most treasured policy objectives.)

16) I am determined to take the right path for Alaska even though it is unconventional and not so comfortable.

(How is quiting taking Alaska down the 'right path'?)

17) With this announcement that I am not seeking re-election... I've determined it's best to transfer the authority of governor to Lieutenant Governor Parnell; and I am willing to do so, so that this administration - with its positive agenda, its accomplishments, and its successful road to an incredible future - can continue without interruption and with great administrative and legislative success.

(not transfering the authority of governor to the LG, you are quitting and letting the LG become the Governor)

18) My choice is to take a stand and effect change - not hit our heads against the wall and watch valuable state time and money, millions of your dollars, go down the drain in this new environment.

(Quitting is not 'taking a stand' and takes you out as a change agent)

19) Let me go back to a comfortable analogy for me - sports... basketball. I use it because you're na�ve if you don't see the national full-court press picking away right now: A good point guard drives through a full court press, protecting the ball, keeping her eye on the basket... and she knows exactly when to pass the ball so that the team can WIN. And I'm doing that - keeping our eye on the ball that represents sound priorities - smaller government, energy independence, national security, freedom! And I know when it's time to pass the ball - for victory.

(Well a 'good point guard' may pass the ball but a good point guard doesn't pass the ball and then run out of the gym at half time.)

20) I do not want to disappoint anyone with my decision; all I can ask is that you TRUST me with this decision - but it's no more "politics as usual".

(Just because its not politics as usual doesn't mean that it isn't politics as idiocy. Going to the governors office nude would not be politics as usual but it doesn't mean that it would be an improvement. Simply doing something differently doesn't mean that it is actually better.)

21) Some Alaskans don't mind wasting public dollars and state time. I do.

(Yes there are millions of Alaskans that cherish wasting public dollars)

22) I cannot stand here as your Governor and allow millions upon millions of our dollars go to waste just so I can hold the title of Governor.

(Well that would only be true if you accept that being Governor is going to entail an endless trail of questionable actions that raise an endless trail of ethical investigations)

23) And my children won't allow it either. ? Some will question the timing. ? Let's just say, this decision has been in the works for awhile...

(Some will question the timing? No everyone questions the timing, the logic and everything about this idiotic statement)

24) In fact, this decision comes after much consideration, and finally polling the most important people in my life - my children (where the count was unanimous... well, in response to asking: "Want me to make a positive difference and fight for ALL our children's future from OUTSIDE the Governor's office?" It was four "yes's" and one "hell yeah!"

(sigh)

25) The "hell yeah" sealed it - and someday I'll talk about the details of that... I think much of it had to do with the kids seeing their baby brother Trig mocked by some pretty mean-spirited adults recently.)

(more sighs)

26) Um, by the way, sure wish folks could ever, ever understand that we ALL could learn so much from someone like Trig - I know he needs me, but I need him even more... what a child can offer to set priorities RIGHT - that time is precious...

(You learned from Trig that your time is so precious on earth that you don't have enough time to fulfill the oath of office that you took?)

27) the world needs more "Trigs", not fewer.

(Yes well that addresses the huge debate that the nation was having whether or not we should have more 'Trigs' or fewer)

28) My decision was also fortified during this most recent trip to Kosovo and Landstuhl, to visit our wounded soldiers overseas, those who sacrifice themselves in war for OUR freedom and security... we can ALL learn from our selfless Troops... they're bold, they don't give up,

(These is perhaps the most aggrevating statement of the press conference: first it uses wounded soldiers for partisan purposes and secondly you are using wounded soldiers who refuse to quit to justify quitting)

29) *((Gotta put First Things First))*

(As opposed to the frequently advocated position of putting First Things Seventh)

30) First things first: as Governor, I love my job and I love Alaska. It hurts to make this choice but I am doing what's best for Alaska. I've explained why... though I think of the saying on my parents' refrigerator that says "Don't explain: your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe you anyway."

(Again this is a multiple offender. First you have said many things but explained nothing, and even though you didn't give any logical explanation you purport to do so and then offer advice that you shouldn't do what you claimed to have done and in fact did not do - time for some Aspirin)

31) But I have given my reasons... no more "politics as usual" and I am taking my fight for what's right - for Alaska - in a new direction.

(Again not explained and simply not being "usual" doesn't mean that it is worthwhile or intelligent or in Alaska's interest.)

32) Now, despite this, I don't want any Alaskan dissuaded from entering politics after seeing this REAL "climate change" that began in August... no, we NEED hardworking, average Americans fighting for what's right! And I will support you because we need YOU and YOU can effect change, and I can too on the outside.

(Your entire rant is a statement on how counter productive it is to enter public office. You end the sub rant by saying that you can do it more effective outside of government - obviously dissuading any knucklehead who is listening to you to run for office.)

33) . . who also have enough common sense to acknowledge when conditions have drastically changed and are willing to call an audible and pass the ball when it's time so the team can win! And that is what I'm doing!

(You are calling an audible? Does that mean that you didn't have a play in mind when you started the press conference? Again the analogy makes you wonder how many quarterbacks call an audible and then quit the game in the third quarter)

34) In the words of General MacArthur said, "We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction."

(And of course everyone knows that MacArthur was in fact retreating but trying to put a brave face on it. So are you saying that everything that you have said is completely the opposite of the facts and that you are trying to put a brave face on it?)

[Blue_In_AK]

1. Well done.

There was so much wrong with that speech, it was hard to keep track. This breaks it down nicely.

[rove karl rove]

2. sappy speech from hell n/t

[emulatorloo]

3. Excellent! - recommending EOM

[valerief]

4. So is she being tapped to do a Fox "Newz" Show? And that way

Sean Parnell can become the next POTUS, as is the will of the great god Exxon-Mobil.

[KT2000]

5. Honking Geese in the background

was the icing on the cake.

[grantcart]

10. I think they were insulted by all of the references to ducks lol

[goclark]

14. grandcart` another winning post

You nailed it!

[sundancekid]

19. and probably the most eloquent in-real-time comment ... jeepers what a lyin' honker she is!

[bleever]

6. Thank you for an excellent

condensed look at what could be a seventeen volume dissertation on the last three hundred years, and human cognizance itself, through the eyes of the insufficiently-anointed one.

If Shakespeare were alive, and not too busy turning over in his grave, maybe he'd dub her, after Nixon and Cheney, "Richard the Third".

[sarah553807]

7. That speech was made up of Courtney Love tweets. Had to be

[reggie the dog]

8. I think we are looking at the Republican presidential candidate

for 2012. I hope she does not win.

[BlueMTexpat]

9. Thanks for the speech guide!

It's a great recap.

The speech still doesn't make sense, but the explanations are great.

[livetohike]

11. K&R and she's delusional

[DCBob]

12. My personal favorite was the "dead fish go with the flow".

Goofy and in fact she likely is a "dead fish" now.

[grantcart]

13. yes live fish don't go with the flow lol

[Patsy Stone]

15. MacArthur

should really have been left out of this train wreck.

I caught the "inspiration of the soliders leads her to quit" BS myself. At that point, I just wrote the whole thing off as a nervous breakdown.

No matter how many times I hear it, or read it, I still can't figure any of it out.

[Cronus Protagonist]

16. In series need for a spell checker

Some good points, though.

[Flying Dream Blues]

17. Great post but I'm sad that the 'fridge magnet didn't make the cut! :) nt

[cliffordu]

18. Great work as usual, GC......

There has to be a diagnosis that fits her............