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islandmkl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 12:45 PM
Original message
letter from a 'pastor's wife' email i got...and my response:
the email:
Pastor's wife's letter
How's this for apocalyptic literature. This was written by a pastor's wife in biblical prose as a commentary of current events. It is Brilliant.

And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that the people of the land called America , having lost their morals, their initiative, and their will to defend their liberties, chose as their Supreme Leader that person known as "The One".

He emerged from the vapors with a message that had no meaning; but He hypnotized the people telling them, "I am sent to save you. My lack of experience, my questionable ethics, my monstrous ego, and my association with evil doers are of no consequence. For I shall save you with=2 0Hope and Change. Go, therefore, and proclaim throughout the land that he who
preceded me is evil, that he has defiled the nation, and that all he has built must be destroyed." And the people rejoiced, for even though they knew not what "The One" would do, he had promised that it was good; and they believed.

And "The One" said "We live in the greatest country in the world. Help me change everything about it!" And the people said, "Hallelujah! Change is good!"

Then He said, "We are going to tax the rich fat-cats." And the people said "Sock it to them!" "And redistribute their wealth." And the people said, "Show us the money!"
And then He said, "Redistribution of wealth is good for everybody"

And Joe the plumber asked, "Are you kidding me? You're going to steal my money and give it to the deadbeats??" And "The One" ridiculed and taunted him, and Joe's personal records were hacked and publicized.

One lone reporter asked, "Isn't that Marxist policy?" And she was banished from the kingdom!

Then a citizen asked, "With no foreign relations experience and having zero military experience or knowledge, how will you deal with radical terrorists?"
And "The One" said, "Simple. I shall sit with them and talk with them and show them how nice we really are; and they will forget that they ever wanted to kill us all!" And the
people said, "Hallelujah!! We are safe at last, and we can beat our weapons into free cars for the people!"

Then "The One" said, "I shall give 95% of you lower taxes." And one, lone voice said, "But 40% of us don't pay ANY taxes." So "The One" said, "Then I shall give you some of the taxes the fat-cats pay!" And the people said, "Hallelujah!! Show us the money!"

Then "The One" said, "I shall tax your Capital Gains when you sell your homes!" And the people yawned and the slumping housing market collapsed. And He said, "I shall mandate employer- funded health care for EVERY worker and raise the minimum wage. And I shall give every person unlimited healthcare and medicine and transportation to the clinics." And the people said, "Give me some of that!"

Then he said, "I shall penalize employers who ship jobs overseas." And the people said, "Where's my rebate check?"
Then "The One" said, "I shall bankrupt the coal industry and electricity rates will skyrocket!" And the people said, "Coal is dirty, coal is evil, no more coal! But we don't care for that part about higher electric rates." So "The One" said, "Not to worry. If your rebate isn't enough to cover your expenses, we shall bail you out. Just sign up with ACORN and your troubles are over!"

Then He said, "Illegal immigrants feel scorned and slighted. Let's grant them amnesty, Social Security, free education, free lunches, free medical care, bi-lingual signs and guaranteed housing..." And the people said, "Hallelujah!!" And they made him King!

And so it came to pass that employers, facing spiraling costs and ever-higher taxes, raised their prices and laid off workers. Others simply gave up and went out of business and the economy sank like unto a rock dropped from a cliff. The banking industry was destroyed. Manufacturing slowed to a crawl. And more of the people were without a means of support.

Then "The One" said, "I am the "The One" - The Messiah - and I'm here to save you! We shall just print more money so everyone will have enough!" But our foreign trading partners said unto Him, "Wait a minute. Your dollar is not worth a pile of camel dung! You will have to pay more..." And the people said, "Wait a minute. That is unfair!!" And the world said, "Neither are these other idiotic programs you have embraced. Lo, you have become a Socialist state and a second-rate power. Now you shall play by our rules!"

And the people cried out, "Alas, alas!! What have we done?" But yea verily, it was too late. The people set upon "The One" and spat upon him and stoned him, and his name was dung. And the once mighty nation was no more; and the once proud people were without sustenance or shelter or hope. And the Change "The One" had given them was as like unto a poison that had destroyed them and like a whirlwind that consumed all that they had built. And the people beat their chests in despair and cried out in anguish, "Give us back our nation and our pride and our hope!!" But it was too late, and their homeland was no more.

You may think this is a fairy tale, but it's not. It's happening RIGHT NOW !!!

my response:

Yea, though thou has followed the deceitful guidance of false prophets for lo these past 8 years, thou shalt still receive salvation. Those who have found enemies, even amongst friends, those who have claimed false provenance, masquerading as one entity when truly another (ye Joseph that does not plumb), those who have stolen your money while claiming to be protecting your treasures, and those who invoke their Lord's name while committing acts that blaspheme his teachings are to be shunned and driven into exile. Thou hast adorned the temple with gold, not faith. Thou hast allowed the weakest amongst you to be cast aside, contrary to the most fundamental teachings of your Lord. Thou hast been blinded by devotion to the words of elders who present interpretations of God's word as though their own, and thou has thus lain with wolves masquerading as sheep. Yea, though the words of one, who those amongst you have chosen to lead you, can do little to save you from yourselves, you can choose to make the journey together. To decry a mortal man as a false messiah, while acclaiming another of your choosing as a true messiah shall render you both afflicted and powerless. To squander the treasures of life and resource on war and profit while not taking care of your people, to tithe and devote faith to the moneylenders and not the church, to honor the lucre more than the Lord, and to find the value of human existence in gold instead of faith has cast your people into a chasm of bewilderment and fear. The light of salvation shines brightly, though the darkness is not easily overcome. There are those amongst you that will say the bright light blinds them and causes them pain. They will be wont to lead you back into the darkness. They must not be shunned, they must be helped to seek the light; they only know the comfort of their fears, and will only listen to those amongst you who prey upon those fears. The true strength of your nation lies in the faith of the shepherd, not the wolf nor the sheep. To claim true faith, while sowing the seeds of destruction with false claims and petty arguments, shall provide you with no salvation. A man amongst you must lead, not without question, but with support. Wouldst thou rather continue along the path that has gotten one to this dire condition? Do you still worship the golden calf, do you still seek true salvation in gold?

Yea, the wolf had found the voice of the sheep, and many, yea most, of the sheep followed. The shepherd, the lowly shepherd who makes no false claims to be the messiah, must now overcome the wolves and reassemble the flock. Many of the sheep will follow the wolves, to their peril. One must pray that the shepherd will gather most of the flock and restore their peaceful lives.

**note: sorry for the length, but i needed a little ventilation...hey, maybe i'll get removed from some email lists :-)
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Gman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 12:51 PM
Response to Original message
1. Brilliant response! K&R
Edited on Mon Jun-22-09 01:10 PM by Gman
I just hope you did a "reply all".
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Kookaburra Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 12:53 PM
Response to Original message
2. Perfect!
I hope you copied everyone on her stupid email chain.

Pastor's wife indeed. What brand of so-called christian is she?
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Kookaburra Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 12:53 PM
Response to Original message
3. Delete -- dupe
Edited on Mon Jun-22-09 12:54 PM by Kookaburra
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mzteris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 12:58 PM
Response to Original message
4. love the response!
Good job.

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Buzz Clik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 12:59 PM
Response to Original message
5. "And 'The One' ridiculed and taunted him" ...??? Um, no, he didn't.
First, The One was Neo in The Matrix, not Obama. But, Joe the Plumber wasn't in The Matrix, so I know we're actually talking about Obama.

And, Obama was respectful to Joe the Plumber when the talked in person and when Obama talked about him later.

What a fucking idiot.

Why bother to respond?
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RaleighNCDUer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 01:05 PM
Response to Reply #5
8. I thought Muad D'ib was 'The One'. nt
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Buzz Clik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 01:18 PM
Response to Reply #8
12. nerd alert.
;)
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winter999 Donating Member (530 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 01:28 PM
Response to Reply #8
13. Wrong. The highlander, Connor MacLeod is the One
There can be ONLY ONE.
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Guy Whitey Corngood Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 01:52 PM
Response to Reply #13
17. I thought the one was his cousin Duncan. Maybe there can only be 2. nt
Edited on Mon Jun-22-09 01:52 PM by Guy Whitey Corngood
:shrug: :+
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TankLV Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 02:50 PM
Response to Reply #17
25. No - I think that was Dunkin Donuts...
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Guy Whitey Corngood Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 03:01 PM
Response to Reply #25
27. In that case "There can only be one but he'll weigh as much as two." nt
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lunatica Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 04:24 PM
Response to Reply #27
31. No dammit! Jet Li is The One!
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rateyes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 02:32 PM
Response to Reply #13
20. How can he be the one,
when I'M the one? :shrug:
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BR_Parkway Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 02:56 PM
Response to Reply #8
26. Everyone knows Neo was the One
in spite of what the Oracle said
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Blue_Tires Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 02:45 PM
Response to Reply #5
23. what about Luke Skyywalker?
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Buzz Clik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 02:50 PM
Response to Reply #23
24. The force is strong in that one, but there is no The One.
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RaleighNCDUer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-23-09 10:11 AM
Response to Reply #24
44. Beg your pardon, but Qui-Gon and Obi Wan both thought that
Annikin was The One - and Anni DID wind up destroying the emperor in the end.
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JuniperLea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 01:00 PM
Response to Original message
6. K&R!!! Everyone should see this...
Speaking to them in their own language is brilliant!
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ayeshahaqqiqa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 01:00 PM
Response to Original message
7. Good job
Hope it makes some people think.
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AndyA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 01:06 PM
Response to Original message
9. Awesome response.
I wonder how many will see themselves in it? I would have loved to see the look on their faces when they read your response! ;)
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Starry Messenger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 01:07 PM
Response to Original message
10. She left out the re-education camps.
Shh, maybe she doesn't know yet...
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Mz Pip Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 01:18 PM
Response to Original message
11. If I get this
Edited on Mon Jun-22-09 01:20 PM by Mz Pip
can I use your response? I love the (ye Joseph who dos not plumb)! :rofl:

I removed myself from the one email contact who would be inclined to send me this crap but she may be inclined to push the issue on occasion.
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islandmkl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 01:43 PM
Response to Reply #11
15. yes...use it...in fact, i am thinking of sending the original 'pastor's wife' letter...
to everybody in MY email list, along with the response...

kind of 'start a fire...put it out' kind of thing....
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Hissyspit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 01:40 PM
Response to Original message
14. kick nt
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vaberella Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 01:50 PM
Response to Original message
16. K*R and Bookmarked. n/t
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safeinOhio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 01:54 PM
Response to Original message
18. thank you brother
for blessed are the peace makers.
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Joe Chi Minh Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 02:26 PM
Response to Original message
19. Like shooting fish in a barrel, but an excellent response. Interesting the casual way
in which a pastor's wife uses the style of Scripture to satirise; I should say, "attempt to satirise". Satire requires a degree of wit, not a hapless, lame-brained exposure by the author of her own degradation and shame.
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rateyes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 02:34 PM
Response to Original message
21. Great response. I'm afraid my response would have been more succint, however:
Dear Pastor's Wife,

Shuttest thou the fucketh up. (Or, would that be, the fuck uppeth? :shrug:) :evilgrin:
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rocktivity Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 04:07 PM
Response to Reply #21
29. 'Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighor' would work just as well
along with a reference to Christ driving out the money changers.

:evilgrin: (if you pardon the smilie)
rocktivity
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Cha Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 07:18 PM
Response to Reply #21
35. I'm leaning towards the
latter. }(
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Ikonoklast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 02:44 PM
Response to Original message
22. 'Pastor's wife' is an idiot.
There are so many outright mis-statements of fact in that missive as to make the entire mess an outright falsehood.

Nice to see they always use an appeal from some sort of moral authority, i.e. "Pastor's wife", "Retired military officer", etc.

So predictable as to be laughable.

But your response was golden. They are the hypocrites they warn the world about.
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otohara Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 03:01 PM
Response to Original message
28. Who Writes These Wacky Wingnut E-mails?
I think it's one person, because they all kinda sound the same and they are all too damn long.

Great response.
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grace0418 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 09:48 PM
Response to Reply #28
36. I don't know who it is but they definitely have my father-in-law on their daily digest list.
The shit I get from that man... oy vey.
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Blue_Tires Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-23-09 08:16 AM
Response to Reply #28
42. there's a small group in the D.C. suburbs that write them
and they always know the right people to send it to for max distribution...Mother Jones(iirc?) did a story on one of the 'authors' 2 or 3 years ago...
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otohara Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-23-09 10:34 AM
Response to Reply #42
46. Hey Thanks
now I know.
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rocktivity Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 04:13 PM
Response to Original message
30. Now THAT'S what I'm talking about--less whining about how "mean" and "unfair" they are
and more fighting back!

They're nothing but animals and bullies, and they only things that scare them even a little are--animals and bullies!

:applause:
rocktivity


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lunatica Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 04:28 PM
Response to Original message
32. Great response. Now if they could just stop long enough to let the seed germinate
You might actually put a tiny sliver of doubt in someone's mind. Even if it's only to realize that anyone can quote something from the bible to back their claims. That doubt could actually make them question something.

OH! Probably not!
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Sheltiemama Donating Member (892 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 05:11 PM
Response to Original message
33. "Ye Joseph that does not plumb."
Beautiful. Just beautiful!
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archiemo Donating Member (257 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 07:06 PM
Response to Reply #33
34. Ditto...that was a brilliant line! Needed a good laugh, thanks!
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donheld Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-22-09 10:32 PM
Response to Original message
37. If it was a group message I hope you sent the response "reply to all"
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DKRC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-23-09 03:38 AM
Response to Original message
38. Bookmarked for when I receive this from my RW relatives
Brilliant response!

:yourock:
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zeemike Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-23-09 07:22 AM
Response to Original message
39. My Reply to all got me off the email lists quickly
They hate it when you point out the truth....like you said the bright light causes them pain.
A great job...
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HopeOverFear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-23-09 07:55 AM
Response to Original message
40. Did the pastor's wife respond back?
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olegramps Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-23-09 08:06 AM
Response to Original message
41. Another Proud Product of Christian Based Home Schooling
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holiday Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-23-09 09:29 AM
Response to Original message
43. ye Joseph that does not plumb
lmao

the sad thing is the response is so brilliant they probably won't get it lol
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gauguin57 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-23-09 10:32 AM
Response to Original message
45. "Pastor's wife." I doubt it. This is prime Snopes material.
It was written by some wingnut who wrote "pastor's wife" on it as if that would make it legitimate somehow.

Look for it on Snopes.
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