Question re Same Sex Partner Benefits

[nolabear]

At the risk of sounding like a maroon, there's something I don't understand about the same sex partner benefits for federal employees. If same sex marriage isn't recognized (and it should be), and civil unions aren't universally recognized, then what does "partner" actually mean? Is there an equivalent for non-married heterosexual partners? Are there qualifiers?

I really do want to know so if you guys want to argue would you wait a few posts and help me out here first?

[JuniperLea]

1. I tried to get my live-in b/f of six years on my health plan...

And found out that he would have been eligible if we were lesbian lovers, but since he's a man, we have the "option" of getting married.

No, no we don't. It's not an option. I don't want that option in my life. Been there...

[Neecy]

6. wouldn't that qualify as common law?

[JuniperLea]

8. CA doesn't have that anymore...

Weird, huh?

[Neecy]

9. that is weird

The rules for common law were strict enough that you wouldn't think there would have been abuse of the system. When did they get rid of it, and why?

[JuniperLea]

10. I have no idea... it was done quietly...

My sister found out after living with the father of two of her children for over 7 years, and assuming it was in place.

Common Law Marriage is not recognized in the state of California.
Learn what it is and where it's recognized.

What's Below:
If my partner and I live together long enough, won't we have a common law marriage?
Which states recognize common law marriage?
If my partner and I live together long enough, won't we have a common law marriage?
Contrary to popular belief, even if two people live together for a certain number of years, if they don't intend to be married and present themselves to others as a married couple, there is no common law marriage. More particularly, a common law marriage can occur only when:

a heterosexual couple lives together in a state that recognizes common law marriages
for a significant period of time (not defined in any state)
holding themselves out as a married couple -- typically this means using the same last name, referring to the other as "my husband" or "my wife" and filing a joint tax return, and
intending to be married.
Unless all four are true, there is no common law marriage. When a common law marriage exists, the couple must go through a formal divorce to end the relationship.

http://www.cadivorceonline.com/calpages/Alimony/commonl...

[Aloha Spirit]

2. Not sure myself

But for example in Massachusetts many employers granted healthcare benefits to gay partners, I think the requirements were pretty loose. You can't be married to anybody else, you can't be related, financial interdependence....
Then when gay marriage was legalized a lot of those companies discontinued partner benefits unless the couple got married.

[Beacool]

In the State Department there now is.

They circumvented DOMA by including all live-in couples, regardless of the gender of the partners. They first do have to prove that they have been living together for a year (bills, joint accounts, etc.).

I'm not sure about the other Departments.

[Deja Q]

3. In the UK, "partner" is used for heterosexual couples...

http://www.metro.co.uk/fame/article.html?Wendy_Richard:...

Of course, that's in the UK...

[REACTIVATED IN CT]

4. Some employers do cover opposite sex domestic

partners. Most have an affidavit/certification process you have to go through.

Here's an article on the topic

http://www.salary.com/benefits/layouthtmls/bnfl_display...

[GodlessBiker]

5. Sharing bank accounts and household expenses; holding property together; ...

holding yourself out as partners; living together, length of the relationship. There is usually an affidavit to fill out. Stuff like that.

[damntexdem]

7. Let's hope that the benefits are called "domestic partner benefits."

That at least gives some sense of there being a common household.

Of course, further inequality would then reside in the fact that married partners would get benefits even if living in separate households.

And, of course, the best approach is to recognize same-sex marriage.

[nolabear]

11. So it is sticky. Thanks. And I agree. Marriage all around!