Breaking: Obama is the new Chuck Norris.

[Aloha Spirit]

Barack Obama facts:

1. Obama's poker face looks like a docile puppy.
2. Despite this, he always wins at poker because his opponents are afraid he'll commit "extreme Islam" if he loses.
3. His Civilian National Security Force consists mainly of bears, hawks and foxes, much like that of his ancestor Hercules.

[SwampG8r]

1. barack obama doesnt throw up

he throws down

[scheming daemons]

2. Barack Obama can divide by zero

[Two Sheds]

3. and of course this one...

4. He is a black man who ran for President of the United States AND WON. If Chuck Norris were a black man, he wouldn't have the guts to run for POTUS.

[SwampG8r]

4. obama

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for obama.

obama doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures obama has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with obama.

obama does not sleep. He waits.

obama is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

obama is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

obama counted to infinity - twice.

When obama does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

obama is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

obama's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

obama can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

obama doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

obama can slam a revolving door.

obama does not get frostbite. obama bites frost

[Aloha Spirit]

5. the Secret Service had to put his fists in a lock box for the presidential debates.

For which only Al Gore has the key.

[EmperorHasNoClothes]

6. I always thought the Chuck Norris jokes were funny because Norris is such a joke in real life

The hyperbole is funnier because it's so far from the truth.

They don't work as well for Obama, IMHO.

[bunnies]

7. Chuck Norris is an ASS.

I've had the displeasure of dining with him. Obama is the new chuck norris?! Please. :puke: Shame on you.

[Aloha Spirit]

8. Obama will have to install an old-fashioned telephone booth in the Oval Office

to protect his secret superhero identity.