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KansDem (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Fri Oct-03-08 04:34 PM Original message |
"Women for John McCain" |
Women for John McCain --parody site.
From the site: Straight Talk Flashback: 1986 “Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, ‘Where is that marvelous ape?’” ~ John McCain (Tucson Citizen, 10/27/86, link, PDF microfilm scan) Other memorable quotes (with references): Quotable Quotes “At least I don’t plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt.” ~ John McCain, to his current wife Cindy McCain, in front of reporters “Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, ‘Where is that marvelous ape?’” ~ John McCain (Tucson Citizen, 10/27/86, link, PDF) Q: “How do we beat the bitch?” A: “ ~ John McCain, on Hillary Rodham Clinton “Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because Janet Reno is her father.” ~ John McCain at a GOP fundraiser in Washington “As long as it’s inevitable, you might as well lie back and enjoy it.” ~ influential fundraiser for John McCain’s 2008 campaign, Clayton Williams, on the subject of rape; McCain subsequently postponed a fundraising appearance with Williams after scrutiny from the press, but kept the over $300,000 raised by Williams. “I do not support Roe versus Wade. It should be overturned.” ~ John McCain “ ~ John McCain “Elections have consequences. One of the consequences is the president of the United States gets to name his or her nominees to the bench.” ~ John McCain “I hate the gooks. I will hate them as long as I live…I hate the French…I hate Californians…Gook is the kindest appellation I can give.” ~ John McCain “You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who is still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn’t have the face for it.” ~ John McCain, speaking in an appearance on Fox News Channel. “They need the education and training.” ~ John McCain on why he opposed equal pay legislation designed to ensure women who already have equal education, training, and qualifications be paid comparable salaries as men in the same job positions. “It’s not social issues I care about.” ~ John McCain “I disagree with what the majority of the American people want.” ~ John McCain “I believe my party has gone astray. I think the Democratic Party is a fine party, and I have no problems with it, in their views and their philosophy.” ~ John McCain “I didn’t decide to run for president to start a national crusade for the political reforms I believed in or to run a campaign as if it were some grand act of patriotism. In truth, I wanted to be president because it had become my ambition to be president.” ~ John McCain, Worth The Fighting For, page 373 “Presidential ambition is a disease which can only be cured by embalming fluid.” ~ John McCain “As for that V.P. talk all the time, I’ll tell you, I still can’t answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the V.P. does every day?” ~ Sarah Palin “Gambling on amateur athletics is wrong.” ~ John McCain, who enjoys betting thousands at a time at high-roller craps tables in marathon 14-hour gambling sessions in Vegas, at Indian casinos, in the Carribean, and on riverboats, and started an NCAA basketball ‘pool’ on the official McCain 2008 campaign website. “My response is, Lighten up and get a life.” ~ John McCain, responding to criticism that his singing “Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb bomb Iran” to the tune of the Beach Boys’ “Barbara Ann” at a public campaign event was inappropriate and tasteless. “Maybe that’s a way of killing them.” ~ John McCain following up his hilarious “Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran” sing-along with another death-is-funny “joke” on how to best exterminate an entire country. “That’s not too important.” ~ John McCain, on when U.S. troops will return from Iraq, “Today,” NBC, June 11, 2008. “Make it a hundred…That would be fine with me.” ~ John McCain on how many years U.S. troops should be expected to remain in Iraq, town hall campaign event in Derry, NH, January 3, 2008. “I don’t think Americans are concerned if we’re there for a hundred years, or a thousand years, or ten thousand years.” ~ John McCain on the Iraq War “…t’ll be one of the best things that’s happened to America and the world in a long time ’cause it’ll reverberate throughout the Middle East.” ~ John McCain on the Iraq war, “Meet the Press”, March 3, 2003 “There are neighborhoods in Baghdad where you and I could walk through those neighborhoods today.” ~ John McCain, prior to visiting a Baghdad market while being flanked by 22 soldiers, 10 armored Humvees, and two Apache attack helicopters. “It’s a very hard struggle, particularly given the situation on the Iraq-Pakistan border.” ~ John McCain, showing off his geography and foreign policy expertise on Good Morning America, July 21st 2008. “I was in a conference in Germany over the weekend and President Putin of Germany gave one of the old Cold War style speeches.” ~ John McCain, demonstrating his self-proclaimed expertise on foreign policy, January, 2008 “I believe that, when he said that we had to leave Iraq, and we had to be out by last March, and we had to have a date certain, that was in contravention to — and still is — the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General David Petraeus.” ~ John McCain delivering some Straight Talk that would probably be a surprise to Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Michael Mullen “I don’t know how you respond to something that is such a false depiction of what actually happened. Colonel McFarland was contacted by one of the major Sunni sheiks. Because of the surge we were able to go out and protect that sheik and others. And it began the Anbar awakening. I mean, that’s just a matter of history.“ ~ John McCain, demonstrating his self-proclaimed expertise on military and foreign policy by “correcting” Barack Obama; CBS News with Katie Couric, July 22 2008. As documented by the press and George W. Bush himself, the “Anbar Awakening” began in September 2006, miles and months away from the “surge” centered in Baghdad in Spring 2007. “He’s a patriot who has the best interests of his country at heart.” ~ John McCain on Ahmed Chalabi, convicted embezzler, arrested counterfeiter, fabricator of false WMD information, and subject of investigations for passing U.S. secrets to Iran; Washington Post, Monday, November 24, 2003; Page C01 “I would probably have to say yes, that the Constitution established the United States of America as a Christian nation.” ~ John McCain, on the basic Constitutional principle requiring separation of Church and State. “…I would rather have a clean government than one where quote First Amendment rights are being respected…” ~ John McCain on the Oath of Office of the President of the United States “Whether I support government funding for them or not, I don’t know.” ~ John McCain on whether he supports helping prevent the spread of AIDS through government-funded programs. “<12-second pause>…You’ve stumped me.” ~ John McCain on whether condoms help prevent the spread of HIV/AIDS. “The issue of economics is not something I’ve understood as well as I should.” ~ John McCain “I’m going to be honest, I know a lot less about economics than I do about military and foreign policy issues. I still need to be educated.” ~ John McCain “Americans have got to understand that we are paying present-day retirees with the taxes paid by young workers in America today. And that’s a disgrace. It’s an absolute disgrace, and it’s got to be fixed.” ~ John McCain on Social Security, which has been designed to work that way since its inception in 1935. “In short, the better aware you are, the more sound your decision. What is the most common observation made by someone who made the wrong call? ‘I really didn’t know.’” ~ John McCain, in his book “Hard Call” with co-author / ghost writer / assistant Mark Salter “Reagan would not approve of someone who changes their positions depending on what the year is.” ~ John McCain, asked whether former President Ronald Reagan would endorse his candidacy if he were alive today. “Fuck you!” ~ John McCain, shouting at Sen. John Cornyn (R-Texas). “Only an asshole would put together a budget like this! I wouldn’t call you an asshole unless you really were an asshole!” ~ John McCain to former Budget Committee chairman, Sen. Pete Domenici. “I’m calling you a fucking jerk!” ~ John McCain to Iowa Sen. Chuck Grassley. “Okay, I apologize. But you’re still a shithead.” ~ John McCain “Thanks for the question, you little jerk. You’re drafted.” ~ John McCain to a high school student at a McCain ‘08 campaign “town hall meeting”. “My anger didn’t help my campaign. It didn’t help. People don’t like angry candidates very much.” ~ John McCain “My temper has often been both a matter of public speculation and personal concern…I have a temper, to state the obvious, which I have tried to control with varying degrees of success because it does not always serve my interest or the public’s. I have regretted losing my temper on many occasions…I have at times tried to use my anger to incite public outrage. I make no apologies for that…” ~ Senator John McCain in his memoir, “Worth the Fighting For” “ spent the last 10 years doing everything I can to control my temper.” ~ John McCain to USA Today “Well, basically, it’s a Google.” ~ John McCain, on how he’s conducting his VP search, Richmond, Virginia, June 9, 2008 “I’m an ~ John McCain “I will veto every single beer.” ~ John McCain, speaking at the National Small Business Summit, Washington, D.C., June 10, 2008. “We should be able to deliver bottled hot water to dehydrated babies.” ~ John McCain, campaign rally in Kenner, Louisiana, June 3, 2008. “I will conduct a respectful debate. Now, it will be dispirited — it will be spirited — because there are stark differences. I am a proud conservative, liberal Republica– conservative Republican…Hello? Easy there.” ~ John McCain “Everyone has their own experience. I don’t know why she said what she said, all I know is that I have always been proud of my country.” ~ Cindy McCain, questioning Michelle Obama’s patriotism on one of several occasions “I really didn’t love America until I was deprived of her company.” ~ John McCain “I’ll admit to you … that it’s tough in some respects. We have not always done things right and we mismanaged the war in Iraq very badly for nearly four years.” ~ John McCain, answering a questioner at a town hall meeting appearance on how one can be proud of the United States, Saturday, June 14th, 2008 “We will take public financing. … Because we decided to take public financing.” ~ John McCain eloquently elaborating on why he decided to take public financing, press pool report, June 19th, 2008 ”The nice thing about Alzheimer’s is you get to hide your own Easter eggs.” ~ John McCain “We’ve got the bloggers. I hate the bloggers. We’ve got all kinds of sources of information.” ~ John McCain, presumably referring to those other blogs, certainly not www.womenforjohnmccain.com |
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