Mirror Mirror... Parallel Universes...George Bush vs. Al Gore eight years later

[ddeclue]

Not to be too much of a geek but does anyone remember the Star Trek Episode "Mirror Mirror" from the original series? You know the one where Kirk, Scotty, Uhuru and McCoy get beamed into an alternate Enterprise in an alternate universe.

In the alternate universe, the Federation is an Empire, crew members move up in rank through assassination, brutality and torture are common, violence is used to control the empire... oh... and Spock has a beard..(see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirror,_Mirror_(Star_Trek))

Not to say "we told you so" about voting for Bush in 2000 ... but....

In OUR universe:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zefH78DvJvk

In a parallel (better) universe:

http://www.hahmed.com/vids/Gore_SNL_06_640.mov

In our universe...

Our national debt is NINE TRILLION DOLLARS we gave tax breaks to the rich in war time and are borrowing money from China to pay for it all.

Gas costs $4.00/gallon - that is if you can still find it. Talked to my folks tonight in Augusta Georgia and they don't have it there and prices are hitting the 5 dollar mark.

Global warming continues to threaten the environment (although high gas prices are driving down the driving..)

45 million people don't have health coverage.

We are in an optional war based on lies costing $10 billion a month in which over 4,000 Americans and 100,000 Iraqis have died.

Americans are being spied on by their gov't without warrants.

People are being held in prisons without trials.

People have been tortured by our government.

The World Trade Center was attacked and destroyed by terrorists in spite of the President being warned the month before.

New Orleans was destroyed in a hurricane due to lack of maintenance on the levies and no real effort was made to evacuate anybody even though it was clear that many would die. 1800 did.

The nation is on the verge of an economic collapse and a Harvard MBA is at the helm.. (WTF??)

The solution to the crisis is apparently to give 1 TRILLION DOLLARS no strings attached to the same people who screwed it up in the first place.


On the other hand, there's the Al Gore universe...

What if on November 2nd, 2000, Al Gore had been elected?

http://www.hahmed.com/vids/Gore_SNL_06_640.mov

Good evening, my fellow Americans.

In 2000 when you overwhelmingly made the decision to elect me as your 43rd president, I knew the road ahead would be difficult. We have accomplished so much yet challenges lie ahead.

In the last 6 years we have been able to stop global warming. No one could have predicted the negative results of this. Glaciers that once were melting are now on the attack.

As you know, these renegade glaciers have already captured parts of upper Michigan and northern Maine, but I assure you: we will not let the glaciers win.

Right now, in the 2nd week of May 2006, we are facing perhaps the worst gas crisis in history.

We have way too much gasoline. Gas is down to $0.19 a gallon and the oil companies are hurting.

I know that I am partly to blame by insisting that cars run on trash.

I am therefore proposing a federal bailout to our oil companies because - hey if it were the other way around, you know the oil companies would help us.

On a positive note, we worked hard to save Welfare, fix Social Security and of course provide the free universal health care we all enjoy today.

But all this came at a high cost. As I speak, the gigantic national budget surplus is down to a perilously low $11 trillion dollars.

And don’t get any ideas. That money is staying in the very successful lockbox. We’re not touching it.

Of course, we could give economic aid to China, or lend money to the Saudis… again.

But right now we’re already so loved by everyone in the world that American tourists can’t even go over to Europe anymore… without getting hugged.

There are some of you that want to spend our money on some made-up war. To you I say: what part of “lockbox” don’t you understand?

What if there’s a hurricane or a tornado? Unlikely I know because of the Anti-Hurricane and Tornado Machine I was instrumental in helping to develop.

But… what if? What if the scientists are right and one of those giant glaciers hits Boston? That’s why we have the lockbox!

As for immigration, solving that came at a heavy cost, and I personally regret the loss of California. However, the new Mexifornian economy is strong and el Presidente Schwarznegger is doing a great job.

There have been some setbacks. Unfortunately, the confirmation process for Supreme Court Justice Michael Moore was bitter and devisive. However, I could not be more proud of how the House and Senate pulled together to confirm the nomination of Chief Justice George Clooney.

Baseball, our national passtime, still lies under the shadow of steroid accusations. But I have faith in baseball commissioner George W. Bush when he says, “We will find the steroid users if we have to tap every phone in America!”

In 2001 when I came into office, our national security was the most important issue. The threat of terrorism was real.

Who knew that six years later, Afghanistan would be the most popular Spring Break destination? Or that Six Flags Tehran is the fastest growing amusement park in the Middle East?

And the scariest thing we Americans have to fear is … Live From New York, its Saturday Night!


I just love this bit.. the DNC should run this back to back with clips of all the Bush f-up's of the last 8 years with a "don't you wish you had voted for Al now? tagline"...

:rofl:

Doug D.