Sarah Palin Bridge Jokes

[demwing]

Let's start a thread of your favorite Sarah Palin bridge jokes -- Ahh hell, your favorite Palin joke of any denomination are fine :)

I'll start:


So Sarah Palin was walking along an icy, Alaskan beach and stumbled across an old lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.

The genie said, "OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes, so you can forget about three. You only get one wish."

Palin sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Gravina Island, but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Gravina so I can drive over there to visit?"

The genie laughed and said, "Gravina Island? Where the hell is that?"

Palin said, absently “Oh this little island in the middle of nowhere…"

The genie said "A bridge to nowhere, eh? That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! Are there even any roads on this island? Where are you going to drive once you get there? And it’s all sand and ice! You ever tried to build a bridge on ice? Do you know how much concrete it would take to pave a freaking glacier? That’s a ridiculous wish, it’s completely impossible, people would snicker, and I won’t even consider it. Thanks, but no thanks. Think of another wish."

Palin said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, she said, "I've been asked by John McCain to be his Vice Presidential Running Mate, but boy is it HARD! Those question on my Foreigner policy? I mean, they were a good band back in the 70’s, but I like Van Halen cause it rhymes with Palin. And what’s with the questions about Bush’s Doctors? Why the heck do they think I know his medical background? I get zero respect and no one defers to me. My wish is to be honored around the world as a stateswoman and a brilliant political analyst, to stare down the Islam and make those stinkers blink, and to be respected by everyone as a hockey-pit-bull-mom with great hair and sexy lipstick. Most of all, I want the press to stop asking me questions. My brain hurts!"

The genie thinks about this for a few seconds, then says, "Uhm, yeah…so did you want that bridge with two lanes or four?"

[whistle]

1. Sarah Palin's To0Do List before November 3rd

Sarah Palin's To-Do List
Learn about al-Qaida.
Learn about Washington, D.C.
Order Bristol's dress (Elastic waist!!! Is white inappropriate after six months?)
Fire brother-in-law.
Learn about Russia/Georgia/S. Ossetia (Locate Abkhazia???)
Nurse Baby Trig.
Order flowers for wedding.
Fire people who haven't fired brother-in-law.
Learn about ethics rules.
Fire at brother-in-law? (Option: aerial shooting?)
Nurse Baby Trig.
Learn about Iran.
Learn about U.S. Senate.
Learn about contraception. (Too late???)
Investigate homes for foundlings?
Govern Alaska.
Life insurance on J.M.? (who the Fuck is J.M.? Oh shit, now I remember)