Here's How It Goes, Sweetie

[NanceGreggs]

Dear Goodie Palin:

Let me begin by stating that I have always firmly believed in the concept that a candidate’s personal life, religious beliefs, and family eccentricities should be off the table when they are running for office.

However, when these attributes are the only things you have profferred to the public as your “qualifications” for the vice presidency, and perhaps the presidency, even someone as dense as you should realize they are fair pickin’s.

In an effort to be helpful, let me remind you of a few inconvenient facts:

You are, if the media is accurate, a female. That does not make you a feminist. The fact that you and I have similar plumbing does not mean we share the same values. I want control over my own body, thank you very much – and as long as you’re advocating the opposite, the use or misuse of your plumbing is fair game. Got it?

Besides, I also understand that throughout your governorship, your husband has had access to the internal workings of your office. You know, just because you don’t wear a burka doesn’t mean that the necessity to have your man weigh-in on your every move isn’t as obvious as ankle-length garb. Just sayin'.

In addition to the above, your daughter’s current state of affairs isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement of your stance on abstinence-only sex education – nor is a “shotgun wedding” between she and a guy who has publicly stated his disdain for “rug rats” a model to be followed by teenagers caught in a similar situation. (I give that “marriage” six months, tops – how about you?)

The biggest obstacle for you to overcome is the fact you are a proven liar. You have lied about everything from your support of a Bridge to Nowhere to your travel experience (guess you’ve been told that a fuel stop in Ireland doesn’t constitute having “visited” the country). Even a dummy like you has to admit that having to lie repeatedly doesn’t exactly lend gravitas to a paper-thin resume, any more than it demonstrates solid Christian values.

And while we’re on the subject, Sweet Sarah, your religious leanings are, to put it bluntly, whacked out. I believe in separation of Church and State – I’m guessing that right about now, you’re wishing your party believed that, too. Oh, well.

Sarah, really and honestly – do you truly believe that the fact that you can see Russian territory from some vantage points in your state qualifies you as having “foreign policy experience”? By that way of thinking, shouldn’t the person who has most frequently ordered take-out chow mein, souvlaki and samosas be next in line for presiding over the UN? Although I realize that thinking isn’t your strong suit, shouldn’t you think about that?

And now we get down to it, Snookums: you believe you are capable of handling the vice presidency, despite having to ask what a vice president does, because you don’t know. You have also asserted your ability to assume the responsibilities of the presidency on a moment’s notice, even though you require weeks of “prep time” to face the questions of reporters.

Come on, darlin’ – are you really expecting us to swallow this nonsense? Are you really going to hold out your PTA credentials as proof positive that you can run a country?

Are you really going to continue to present yourself as a savvy candidate who thinks polar bears and wolf pups are destroying the environment, that rape and incest victims are the ultimate whiners in today’s society, that being a believer that the end times are imminent actually support anything more than your own apparent insanity?

Quite frankly, Miss Congeniality, your nomination is a national embarrassment, your alleged “qualifications” are laughable, and your resume wouldn’t get you much more than a trainee position in a fast-food drive-through.

But just so we’re absolutely clear on this, Sarah – everything you have ever said, done, advocated or supported is a matter of public record, along with every detail of your personal life and that of your family members, who you have chosen to drag into the dung-heap in an effort to publicize yourself in pursuit of your own political ambitions.

That’s right, Cute-but-Clueless – it’s ALL out there: fair game for the tabloids, for the late-night monologists, for the political satirists, for the pundits and the cartoonists.

And I can’t begin to tell you how much I am enjoying the inevitable public skewering of a pig-in-a-poke who didn’t even have the foresight to provide her own lipstick, while decrying the unfairness of public scrutiny into the sty you inhabit - and continue to gleefully and thoughtlessly wallow in.

[protect our future]

1. Yep.

[sop]

86. Didn't she also lie about being "Miss Congeniality"?

Just asking....

[Esra Star]

96. Might have just mispronounced "Miss Congenital" nt

[ccharles000]

2. Lovely

[Kdillard]

3. That is what I call a smack down.

[calimary]

21. The only way it could be better is if it could be delivered to "Cute but Clueless" in person.

Good work again, Nance!

[George II]

62. I saw that movie the other night..."Clueless in Wasilla"!!

[olegramps]

83. Cute in Wasilla?

I thought the title was Pig in Wasilla, sans lipstick?

[silverweb]

4. Zing!

Every word ringing with truth.

Splendid!

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

5. Those who don't know history....

There have been personal attacks against presidential candidates since 1796. And family members have often been the focus of the press--Rachel Jackson is a vivid example--her husband attributed her early death to the personal attacks in the newspapers. And Lincoln's eldest son was called "The Prince of Rails" and criticized for not donning a Union uniform at the outbreak of war.

I think if Palin and her family had to face the old time newspapermen, they would melt into a shivering pile of goo.

[NYC_SKP]

6. What a well written rant, Snookums!

You're as good a diarist as I can name, but I particularly love it when you're, well, "sassy".

[MamaDem]

7. Simply Perfect!

[mcctatas]

8. Perfect....

as always

[BlooInBloo]

9. They should pay you for this stuff....

Alternatively, you should be a contributor at Digby's blog.

[Raine1967]

10. K&R

Wonderful. Absofuckinglutely wonderful!

[shraby]

11. I'm sure glad there is no limit to the

number of your posts that I can recommend! Just wish I could write as good.

[FKA MNChimpH8R]

12. That was a fabulous gutting and dressing of the Trojan Moose, Nance!

You brightened my day!

[NanceGreggs]

17. "The Trojan Moose" ...

... be forewarned, I am SO gonna steal that line!

[FKA MNChimpH8R]

19. Go ahead, Nance

I swiped it from Arianna!

[NanceGreggs]

23. GREAT line!!! n/t

[nxylas]

46. Doesn't the word "Trojan" imply stealth?

Her views are out there (in every sense of the phrase), which makes it difficult to argue that she is trying to smuggle a far-right agenda into the WH.

[Duncan]

71. Somewhat

But she definitely tries to tone them down for MSM.

[Major Hogwash]

81. No, rubbers.

Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!

[George II]

91. Her family doesn't believe in them, obviously.

[SeattleGirl]

13. "Goodie Palin"

Oh Nance, ya kill me!!!

[1Hippiechick]

14. Inconvenient FACTS = inconvenient TRUTH! Way to go, Nance! K&R

ONE of my favorite lines:
"Quite frankly, Miss Congeniality, your nomination is a national embarrassment, your alleged “qualifications” are laughable, and your resume wouldn’t get you much more than a trainee position in a fast-food drive-through."

[Tuesday_Morning]

15. Go Nance!!

[justiceischeap]

16. As soon as I see your name come up I find myself clapping and bouncing

So very well written. Just the right amount of snark! Love it.

[Waiting For Everyman]

18. Could this PLEASE be read on some national media???

I mean like out loud to this nutcase, as from all of us with a functioning brain?

[casus belli]

20. I can't wipe the smile off my face...

Out of the ball park, Nance.

[BlooInBloo]

22. Why do you hate hockey moms?

[George II]

24. Nancy, will you marry me? Ok, well....

I'm already married to a wonderful woman. One of the great things about her is that she's become as liberal as I am (and as you are)

Thanks for another great post!!

[Irishonly]

25. Knockout Punch

One of my daughter's conservative friends shared with me she decided she didn't like Palin because of the ariel hunting. By the time I got through with her she was speechless. I will usually talk to the kids but this old 55 year old had heard Palin was a feminist once too often.

[RagAss]

26. "In what respect, NanceGreggs ?"..... Great Post !

[tech3149]

27. WTG Nance! Another one out of the park.

You continue to amaze me with your ability to get to reality in a funny and snarky fashion without being mean. If I ever decide to get married again, I hope I can find someone with your intellect and sense of humor.

[joop]

28. :) :) :)

Another one for the email-about. Nance, you are such a fine writer. THANKS for the thinking wrapped in the comedy. I LOVE YOUR POSTS!

BTW, Did you write in to the [e-mail] folks yet? I want to see your stuff at http://womenagainstsarahpalin.blogspot.com !

[Shine]

29. Nice bitch slap, Nance!

[eshfemme]

30. Yes! Female != Feminist

The people we need to defeat are the tribalists that would rather everyone be divided and conquered-- it's basically a roadmap to extinction if they got their way. Which is why electing Obama is so important.

[DFW]

31. Someone else with a big stake in this has a question:

[BayjanDem]

85. I'll have this on a tee shirt by Friday n/t.

[DFW]

130. Be my guest! Tell 'em Dallas say hey!

For that matter, I have a bunch more for you if you want to go to town......

[DFW]

131. P.S. bet you sell ten thousand of them in Canada!

[bridgit]

32. cute...

[Raine]

33. This is TERRIFIC!!

[leapinggnome]

34. Awesome, awesome and awesome!

Maybe we should all make a copy of this and mail it to Palin. She could have her daughter read it to her....

[lligrd]

35. Very Well Said! nt

[phycomycetes]

36. Wonderful, just wonderful!

Such a good read! Hope you're a professional writer, if not, you should become one!
Thank you!

Can't agree more. Especially on the "being female does not automatically make you a feminist" - I've experienced this paradox phenomena way too often to delude myself...

Thank you so very much again!

[CreekDog]

37. Beautifully put. You are honoring Molly's avatar with this post.

[DeeDeeNY]

38. Nailed it!

Once again.

[ForeignSpectator]

39. The PTA stuff is a lie, too I heard. There was a thread around here few days ago.

She's like a worm infested apple. Still nice to look at, yet nothing but disgusting crap inside.

[Politicalboi]

88. No! Say it ain't sooooooooo

The PTA is a LIE! I was giving her that much credit now what do I do? And now I found out that Hockey Mom might be an exaggeration too. "Tear Down The Wall"

http://www.jabberwonk.com/flinker.cfm?cliid=rrp78

[Buzz Clik]

40. Great post. George Will yesterday suggested that discussing Palin's family is illegal.

He made the comment that in most states, it is illegal to even ask if a job candidate has a family. However, when the candidate brings the entire family to the job interview and can't stop talking about how her family is everything, one must question her seriousness about the job she is seeking.

[Vinca]

42. A cynical person might think she's using the special needs baby as a prop. nt

[mnhtnbb]

45. Truth is not cynicism.

[George II]

92. A cynical person OR one who has been dealing with republicans the last 8 years.

When things get really bad for her, we'll probably hear that the baby was the product of a rape while she was a POW.

[sellitman]

41. You were being kind to her.

I'd have let it rip.

That's just me.

[mcollier]

43. What planet are the republican leadership from

There is such a disconnect from facts in the McCain campaign is really scary.

Thanks Nancy.

[mnhtnbb]

44. Serious smackdown. I loves me some Nance!

[southern_belle]

47. Wham! k & r

[liberal N proud]

48. K&R

[BlueDonkey08]

49. Lovely, Just what I want to tell her! K&R

[Faith No More]

50. If this brainless bimbo

had any decency at all, she would step aside and let gramps appoint somebody else.

[a la izquierda]

51. Oh Ms. Nance..."Goodie Palin"?

You made this historian spew coffee on a dreary morning!

[grannylib]

52. Nance, you make my day...this is spot on.

Talking Caribou Barbie is just that - a plastic female form, spouting the same lines over and over and over and over.

[FloridaJudy]

53. Great work, Nance

I sometimes suspect that Sarah's whole "Hockey Mom/PTA President" persona is going to backfire. Those of us who have or have had school age children know that kind of woman. She's the Room Mother who bullies us into producing 48 cupcakes with a day's notice. She's the PTA President who's obsessed with only having the "right" kind of books in the school library, or who wants to keep "those kind" of people out of the classroom. She's the parent screaming obscenities at the coach for not letting her little darlin' play more often. We know her, and we loath her. I had her pegged when she first opened her mouth, and immediately had the visceral "When pigs fly!" reaction to being asked to vote for a ticket that included her - make of that Pig reference what you will!

[graywarrior]

54. God, that was orgasmic.

[Zambero]

55. Out of the park!

Your spot-on observation may be a few days or weeks ahead of the national sentiment as pertains to Sarah Palin, but it will gradually seep in.

[lisainmilo]

56. Well written

Good as always!

[IllinoisBirdWatcher]

57. Thanks again, Nance. I so LOVE your writing.

What more can anyone of us say? You pretty much covered it all. Thanks.

[blondie58]

58. another one out of the park, Nance!

we really need to get you syndicated. People other than your loyal DU readers would so appreciate your writings.

[TooRaLoo]

59. K & R

[Kablooie]

60. But a lot of middle American women find the idea of her ruling along a white guy very appealing.

And unfortunately that sort of idiotic thinking has a vote with as much power as your's or mine.

[ladyVet]

61. Word.

Exactly spot-on, ma'am. Love it. Love it. Love it.

[me b zola]

63. Bam!

Kickin' it up a notch!

[liberalpress]

64. I really wish Nancy would stop holding back...

... I'm DYING to know how she REALLY feels.

[Overseas]

65. K&R !!

[AllyCat]

66. Nicely done, Nance!

Forwarded to friends and family.

[NashVegas]

67. Patronage

It's what's for dinner ...

[kmdemqueen]

68. music to my ears

Some one needs to put a sock in palins mouth. She might like that.

[Danascot]

69. "Bless her heart"

Which as Mollie Ivins would have told you means something like, if she shot herself in the head, she'd miss her brain by a foot.

As to Mooselini's foreign policy experience she'd tell you, just 'cause the cat had kittens in the oven don't make'em biscuits.

[mlevans]

70. Are you certain she will understand all this, Nance?

After all, you used some pretty big words.

[Duncan]

72. Thanks.

This is exactly what we need more of.

[Laurab]

73. K&R "Snookums"!

I used to call my daughter snookums when she was a baby, it cracked me up when I saw it in the op!

Except maybe Sarah is an insult to all 'snookums" everywhere...........

[theodosis2]

74. XLNT POST--MOLLY IVINS IS SMILING

I have perused this site for many months. And when I come across one of your posts.
"YOU LIGHT UP MY DAY."I especially liked this one. "You are, if the media is accurate, a FEMALE. That does not make you a FEMINIST............ETC."

BTW-do you have a montage of some of your posts in book form yet? If not; then get crackin girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[MarkP]

75. Outstanding!

Nance,

You need to send this stuff to every newspaper in the country. Editorial pages/letters to the editors etc.

I think you have the ability to make the blowhards take notice and realize how freakin' stupid they look.

Bravo!

[Imagevision]

76. It appears Palin was guranteed that she won't be fact checked on anything she states!

and with Sarah still repeating the "bridge to nowhere" line you have to admit the Dem's haven't been able to shut this broad down on this statement. (for openers!)

[The Wizard]

77. Six Gun Sarah

has taken the focus of McCane and his gaffs, but picking the radical whinny voiced Palin really magnifies his inability to make sound decisions. It's as if the Grand Kleigle Rove picked Palin.

[FLyellowdog]

78. Yep! Yep!

This needs to go PUBLIC. The TRUTH will out.

[PurpleChez]

79. Ouch!

Splendid as always!

[ismnotwasm]

80. LOL

"Snookums"

Nice job!

[EmeraldCityGrl]

82. What I wouldn't give to watch the bimbo read this. N/T

[nam78_two]

84. Wow

That was awesome! I wish they would replace Maureen Dowd with you..
Wish I could rec this more than once.
Enthusiastic rec.

[rhett o rick]

87. They don't expect us to buy her lies. They threw her to us to distract from their terrible candidate

for president. We need to come up with 6 to 8 anti-McCain talking points and use them over and over. Talking points that the gullibles understand. Don't confuse these people with issues and facts, they want talking points. Like McCain cheated on his first wife and dumped her for a younger rich heiress.

[Politicalboi]

89. Nailed Her Nancy!

Someone should make a movie like Air Force One with a ditsy woman VP who lets the plane crash and is already redecorating the oval office.

[Vickers]

90. Holy CRAP.

Her great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandkids are gonna feel that smackdown.

[Grins]

93. So much

So much for that "Sanctity of Marriage" crappola!


(I give that “marriage” six months, tops – how about you?) to my (I give that “marriage” six months, tops – how about you?)

[Cha]

94. Kick

high!

[DesertFlower]

95. sarah's first child was

born less than 8 months after she got married. guess she wasn't practising abstinence either.

[Catamount]

97. Perfect--as always! K&R

[MasonJar]

98. Palin

My sentiments exactly, per usual, Nance!

[codjh9]

99. Wunnerful - and I only had time to skim it. Keep slamming her...

[lucky leftie]

100. Yuck.

What a slimy, sexist diatribe. There is plenty to criticize in the GOP VP nominee, it isn't necessary to resort to these kinds of attacks. Her pregnant 17 year old kid? "Goodie Palin?" And where the hell did you hear that her husband functions as a kind of shadow governor? That's a new one.

I thought our side was better than this. This party that is allegedly the party of equality has an ugly, misogynistic side to it; that ugliness has been on full display since Palin was named as McCain's running mate.

[NanceGreggs]

102. As long as she wants to control the lives ...

... of other pregnant seventeen-year-olds, as well as all women, by denying them the right to make their own choice re abortion, YOU'RE DAMNED REAL she's open to criticism.

I didn't drag my daughter onto the world stage to be used as a prop in a political campaign - Sarah did. And if she thinks her family's personal life shouldn't be open to discussion, she should have THOUGHT about it before she went public with their private business.

If you are honestly unaware of The First Dude's access to Goodie Palin's governorship, you might try educating yourself before speaking.

Sexist diatribe? There is nothing sexist about pointing out that an ill-informed, inexperienced, serial-liar who thinks being able to "see" another country from their state constitutes "foreign policy experience" is totally unqualified for the vice presidency - if she were a man, I'd have the same opinion.

"I thought our side was better than this." I sincerely doubt that we are on the "same side".

[lucky leftie]

114. No, tell me you're not attempting to justify...

...dragging a teenager into this. There is no justification. Period. That is the kind of thing right-wing smear merchants do and if you aren't capable of feeling ashamed about sniping at a kid, consider this: these Limbaughesque attacks could result in a backlash. Maybe you didn't notice darlin' but throughout last week as the media and progressive blogs went beserk over Palin, her approval rating was in the high 50's.

You say this piece isn't sexist? Hmmmm, I disagree, Goody Greggs. As for which side I'm on, I'm a proud left-of-center democrat with progressive values that I do not discard when it is convenient.

[NanceGreggs]

117. No, I don't have to justify dragging a teenager into this ...

... because I didn't drag her into the glare of publicity - her OWN MOTHER DID THAT.

If you have a problem with that, direct your emails to SARAH PALIN, WORST MOTHER EVER, c/o THE WOMAN WHO WILL MAKE A PUBLIC SPECTACLE HER OWN DAUGHTER'S PRIVATE LIFE IN ORDER TO GARNER VOTES.

[lucky leftie]

120. Two wrongs don't make a right.

[NanceGreggs]

123. Too bad Goodie Palin has already racked-up ...

... a few dozen wrongs. And dragging her own children into this campaign is just one of them.

[Name removed]

103. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[lucky leftie]

119. True and true.

[jeff30997]

104. It's the hypocrisy,stupid.

And also:

"And where the hell did you hear that her husband functions as a kind of shadow governor? That's a new one. "

A new one ?


"...the image presented of Mr. Palin during the Republican convention as a blue-collar family man and sportsman, it echoes a widely held understanding among lawmakers, state employees and lobbyists about Mr. Palin’s heavy engagement in state government.

In the small circle of advisers close to the governor, these people say, Mr. Palin is among the closest, and he plays an unpaid but central role in many aspects of the administration of Ms. Palin, the Republican nominee for vice president.

Mr. Palin’s involvement in the governor’s office has prompted an irreverent quip by some capital staff members when decisions are to be made that might affect the governor: What would Todd do?"

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/14/us/politics/14todd.ht...


Can you get informed before bashing peoples who are?

[lucky leftie]

115. OK, that's one mistake I made.

Now let's hear you justify nasty remarks about a 17 year old. How about the sexism in this piece, darlin? Is that OK too?

Palin is vulnerable on a number of issues, and there are new revelations about her questionable record practically every hour. This kind of nasty smear is completely unnecessary and reflects badly on this site.

[Divine Discontent]

101. WOOHOO!

awesome...

MORE AT www.cafepress.com/warisprofitable

[The Woodpecker]

105. Right on, all so true. How can our country come to this point?

[Lovable Scamp]

106. Palin's obvious hypocrisy

I think it would be fair game to bring back Bernard Shaw for one question and only one question during the VP debate to ask Palin the "Dukakis question" If Bristol had been raped by Usama Bin Laden would she allow her daughter to have an abortion. Love to see Palin spit and sputter over that.

[theFrankFactor]

107. Home Run!

[BumRushDaShow]

108. K&R

[vanderBeth]

109. Great work, as usual

[yellowdogintexas]

110. I am unworthy to even read your writings, (but I do it anyway) You ROCK

and this is being sent to others for their enjoyment.

[dudewheresmycountry]

111. just wonderful

yesterday we got a My Friend and today we get a sweetie, you must be feeling very pleased with yourself today, I know you made me smile yet once again.. Keep going with the truth. I love it!!!!!!!

[dudewheresmycountry]

112. just wonderful

yesterday we got a My Friend and today we get a sweetie, you must be feeling very pleased with yourself today, I know you made me smile yet once again.. Keep going with the truth. I love it!!!!!!!

[dudewheresmycountry]

113. just wonderful

yesterday we got a My Friend and today we get a sweetie, you must be feeling very pleased with yourself today, I know you made me smile yet once again.. Keep going with the truth. I love it!!!!!!!

[Magleetis]

116. Bravo

as usual.

[Fire1]

118. This should be FRAMED AND MOUNTED!! LOL!

[Djinn]

121. Here's how it goes

"Sweetie"??

Really "sweetie"?

And you're still going to claim this isn't paternalistic sexist shit?

Wow, more front than Myers there.

Perhaps if the rest of the article actually contained ANYTHING new you could overlook it's glaring misogyny but it doesn't.

[NanceGreggs]

125. Ah, yes, another "gender undeclared" poster ...

... weighs in on the "misogyny" bandwagon.

Why don't you take your outrage and aim it at yet another unqualified woman who got the "job" while her fellow, much-more-qualified female Republicans were passed over without so much as a moment's consideration?

[Major Hogwash]

129. Well said. What's interesting to me is how women criticizing Palin are labeled that way.

I could understand it better if it were me saying what you said, because it always amazes me when people have a knee-jerk reaction to terms like "sweetie" like that.

It's ridiculous for anyone to make that accusation about another woman who criticizes a woman like Palin and so it falls flat on its face every single time.

Especially if they knew you better, they would know better than to even think about making that charge to begin with.

But the faux outrage of someone calling Palin "sweetie" is what really gets me, like it is soooo bad.

Christ, there's a war raging on in Afghanistan and Iraq where innocent citizens are being killed on a daily basis, and yet there is hardly any outrage expressed here about it.

It's as if, okay, Bush started the war on lies, so what?!
It's as if McCain knows they were lies, but so what?!

Well, we are the ones that are going to do something about those "so what" people, we're not going to let them get away it this time.

[Major Hogwash]

128. Hahahahahahaha!!!!

Ever been down South, hon?

South of the North American border with Canada?

Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!

[HughMoran]

122. Great summary - emailed to my list

[JustAnotherGen]

124. Nance

I hope you are right. I really do.

My sweet pea leftist will die a Democrat, Liberal mother at the grand old age of 61 and I had a phone conversation this evening.

*Disclaimer: She's German, French and Irish. Which means she has a temper, and so by god stubborn and passionate about it. Add to that fact that she's a Scorpio - and did I mention she's German?

Something about sewing McCain's penis to his nose and sewing Palin's vajayjay shut so they could see what it's like to have no control over their plumbing. Then something about how she'd like to do a 'Mengele' on THOSE people with some of those wolves that Sarah Palin has been shooting from the air.


Okay - I want to know what happened to my name your herbal tea, you MUST go to college BECAUSE you are a woman, and we are 'tolerant' people who run through fields of daisies and put flowers in our hair mother?

What the hell happened to her?

I'll tell you - McCain/Palin happened. That's what happened.

I want my mother back.

Therefore - we must beat McCain/Palin.

[Canuckistanian]

126. Wow, Nance. You have a way with summarizing that amazes me

I'd LOVE to see this printed in the NYT in a full-page spread.

Brava!

[Eyes_wide_ open]

127. too good not to share

Great job Nance