Who WON'T Be the VP Pick ...

[NanceGreggs]

Sources in the GOP party confirm that talking points have been compiled for every possible Obama VP choice, focusing on the possible pick’s negatives.

In keeping with the Republicans’ constant Obama’s supporters think he’s the Messiah theme, one likely VP choice was vetted early on, and the following “facts” were compiled to negate any positive impact of His VP nomination:

Subject: JESUS CHRIST
FACT SHEET

No available birth certificate proving citizenship

Probably illegitimate (mother claimed it was a Virgin Birth)

No record of formal education and/or military service

No record of passport, driver’s license, voter registration, high school diploma, etc. (What’s this guy trying to hide?)

Weak on national security, and necessary aggressive measures to fight WOT (a.k.a. “Prince of Peace”)

Never married – socialized with a group called The Apostles, ALL men. Wore “robes”. (Probably gay).

Often referred to as Jesus H. Christ (middle name “Hussein” a possibility – probable ties to Muslim terrorist organizations)

Criminal record (sentenced to crucifixion in 33 A.D., no record of appeal being filed)

Known to consort repeatedly with prostitutes (Google “Mary Magdalene”)

Over-inflated ego (often claims to be the Son of God)

Fanatical devotion to strict separation of church and state (“Render Unto Caesar …,” etc.)

Supports social programs that would put taxpayers’ dollars into the hands of welfare queens, the homeless, the sick, the hungry, etc. (read: “Sermon on the Mount”)

Supports undesirable universal healthcare legislation (read: “Thy Brother’s Keeper”, “Do Unto Others”, etc.)

Known to dabble in occult arts (water-into-wine, multiplying loaves-and-fishes, walking on water, etc.)

Once faked own death in obvious attempt to elude authorities (and no doubt have family members collect on life insurance policy)

History of violence (once used force to cast hard-working money-lenders out of Temple)

Fanatical devotion to environmental concerns, humane treatment of animals, etc.

Unable to give direct answers when asked about previous occupations, corporate positions held, etc., simply stating, "I must be about my Father’s business.” (Probable Mafia connections.)

AND …

Unable to be specific about the number of homes owned by his own family (“My father’s house has many mansions.”)

Considering the “negatives” that could be touted by the GOP, Jesus’ chances are, at this point, slim to none.

Jesus Christ, people – it looks like it ain’t gonna be Jesus Christ.

Remember, you heard it here first.

[gateley]

1. I won't believe it until I DONT's see him on stage with Obama tomorrow. No offense. nt

[thunder rising]

2. I announce officially that Thunder Rising has withdrawn consideration of the position

[NanceGreggs]

4. Okay ...

... that's TWO possible candidates who can be considered out of the running.

[rurallib]

3. Man, think of the entrance if it is!

Maybe that is why the Obama plane hasn't moved - winged chariots of fire will deliver the potential VEEP to Springfield.

[anonymous171]

5. Too foreign. We can't have a middle-easterner on the ticket!

:rofl:

[NanceGreggs]

8. Also ...

... never depicted as wearing anything other than sandals. He's obviously in the pocket of the Birkenstock lobbyists.

[JeffR]

6. Lucky #5

:)

[Beregond2]

7. And let's not forget that swishy John,

"the disciple whom Jesus loved," always laying his head on Jesus breast...need I say more?

[Cha]

9. Good one, nance..and now anybody

looks good to me except evan bayh.

[KamaAina]

10. But after three days, his poll numbers would go through the roof!

:evilgrin:

[beac]

11. I still have my fingers crossed for this guy:

He's tough and he knows how to win--- if only we can get him to stop saying "Eat Me!"


Obama/Wimbledon Blancmange '08 !

[GreenPartyVoter]

12. *snarf*

[SalviaBlue]

13. Wow Nance!! You have outdone yourself.

This is really great!!

[Kurovski]

14. It all makes sense now!

K&R to spread the good word.

[Willo]

15. Nance, your work is a pleasure to read.

Unable to give direct answers when asked about previous occupations, corporate positions held, etc., simply stating, "I must be about my Father’s business.”

my favorite

[FloridaJudy]

16. The "H" undoubtedly stands for "Howard"

After all, it was his Dad's first name: Our Father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name...

But I'm pretty sure JC is on the "no-fly" list, being a bearded middle-Eastern male espousing revolutionary ideas.

[Oldtimeralso]

18. I thought his father's name was Andy!

...Andy walks with me, Andy talks to me...

[FrenchieCat]

17. I have just had a wonderful day today.....

thanks for that nightcap!